Here in the western states we have a non-union, employee-owned grocery store chain called WinCo. It is like a Sam’s Club or Costco without the need to buy food in a convenient pallet-size handy-pack. You can buy one box of macaroni and cheese and not commit yourself to a life-time supply.
The prices at WinCo are a fraction of the big-boy stores like Safeway and Lucky’s. It is a no-frills-bag-your-own-groceries-and-don’t-even-think-about-asking-for-help-to-your-car kind of place. I’m okay with that. Why pay $5.46 for a box of Cheerios at a grocery store with mood lighting and Fabio as the head bagboy when you can pay $2.62 at WinCo under the glare of fluorescent lighting, right? Cheerios are Cheerios.
Another good reason to shop at WinCo is the experience boosts your ego a notch or two. The clientele is . . . well . . . how can I put this delicately . . . a bit rough around the edges. The beautiful people shop elsewhere.
Feeling a little down about the three pounds you put on over the holidays? Head to WinCo! You walk through the doors and feel as svelte as a runway model, or maybe a gazelle on a starvation diet.
The shopping carts have signs on them that say, “Wide Load” and they are not referring to the cart, but the cart pushee. If the Centers for Disease Control commissions a study on the nation’s obesity problem, they can just set up shop in WinCo and watch the world go by with Oreo and Ding Dong-filled carts. Before you get your dander up over my observation about the customers-at-large at WinCo, I have nothing against these Jenny Craig eschewers. I simply made an observation from behind my tofu and bean sprout-filled cart. My Oreos were hidden under the tofu.
Aside from tasty treats in foil packets, my fellow WinCo female shoppers love their manicures. The woman in front of me had nine-inch nails. No, she wasn’t from the band of same name. She had the longest nails I’ve ever seen and they were painted Pepto Bismol pink. I’m sure the nail polish bottle had a catchy name like “Barbie Claws Ken” and she couldn’t resist the celebration of neon pink. I had to stare. At the base of each nail was a filigree tattoo and all I could think was, “That had to hurt.” I get a hangnail and I’m off to the emergency room.
Speaking of tattoos, some of the good folks at WinCo have more tattoos than teeth. There was a mother-daughter pair who looked quite fetching in their matching tube tops (san’s undergarments) and florid dragons sprawled across acne-pocked creamy-white backs. Ew.
Don’t get your dragon tattoo in a kerfuffle. I have nothing against tattoos except when they are on a body, say mine.
One stately gentleman standing in the beer aisle had a charming tee shirt worthy of Sir John Gielgud’s closet. The shirt gently molded the man’s rotund middle, had a cartoon image of a can of Pabst Blue Ribbon, and read, “Yeah, I got six-pack abs. Jealous?”
The women are equally fond of their body-hugging clothing. Bare midriffs and cleavage abounds. But enough about me.
Shopping at WinCo is a shopping extravaganza. All the groceries you need at low, low prices and fodder for sparkling dinnertime conversations that start with, “You won’t believe what I saw at WinCo today.” Also, much can be gleaned from the adventure and put smack dab in the middle of your novel. You can’t make this stuff up.
The WinCo Food Festival of Fun (Photo credit: Michael Batfish)
We don’t have WinCo in San Diego County although they seem to be creeping closer and closer.
If you built Winco, white trash will come.
Robin, you have brought tears to my eyes…
I would love WinCo… I hate huge supermarkets where everything sells in bulk… I have never been to Costco or Ikea. In ordinary supermarkets though I love checking out people & their trolleys and coming up with scenarios for them and their 10 frozen pizzas… I also love the checkout ‘chicks’ who have have seen it all… I had a trolley full of on special chocolate purchased for a fundraiser – truly. The checkout chick looked at me, and asked dryly “for you?”… and when I explained, somehow left the last bags off the docket… And there was the trolley full of disco balls from a chain store didn’t even raise an eyebrow…
I check out what other people have in their carts too and try to figure out what they are making for dinner so I can get some ideas! Sometimes I am stumped when it comes to menu planning.
Trolley full of disco balls? That is a crack-up. Were they planning a mass dance party?
The disco balls were for a family member’s birthday party I got sucked into to organising… I guess the check out ‘chick’s’ at the ‘$2 shops’ are used to seeing a lot of tacky go out the door, but I felt very conspicuous
You can get a disco ball for $2? I need to get some of those! They will brighten up the place and my guests will spontaneously start dancing a la John Travolta.
We have shops here such as the Two Dollar Shop, Go-Lo, Crazy Clints, The Reject Shop, The Basement, etc where everyone’s tacky needs are well [over] catered for, and at bargain prices
I love tacky!
We have a similar store here called Food4Less, but I think your description applies to most WalMart. Have you ever visited the website the people of WalMart? You just can’t make that stuff up!
I love your brutally honest descriptions. The thing is, we’re the only ones having a problem with it. Those people seem perfectly content with themselves!
I have seen the people of Walmart website. It is so bad you have to look. WinCo is bad, but Walmart wins the tacky game.
You are right . . . I think these folks pull on their spandex and think, “I’ve got it rockin’ today! Let’s go shopping!”
This brought back memories of my time as a Dollarama clerk. Thanks, Robin!
Dollarama . . . where the elite meet.
Oh yeah!
Many, many visuals to get out of my head now as I will probably find myself doubly observant of those around me during my next outing. Fun read indeed.
Shopping at WinCo is an entertaining experience I wonder if the people who shop there don’t own mirrors. They certainly don’t read Vogue magazine.
Wonderful! I got several of my “smiles for the day”.
By the way, I have chosen you for an interview blog hop.
It will be in my post tomorrow.
Scott
Cool! I’ll watch for it. Thank you.
May I recommend to you http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/. And, no, that’s NOT me pushing my wide load down the aisle. You are setting yourself up for a ‘people of winco’ versus ‘people of walmart’ photo opportunity.
The Walmart photos are so bad they are good. Unbelievable. Do those people own mirrors?
If they do, they have (butt) cracks.
HAHAHAHA. Good one.
You’ve got me longing for Fabio the bag boy now. Thanks for the giggle.
Fabio does an excellent job bagging groceries when he isn’t posing for a torn bodice romance novel.
Those stores do attract a colorful crowd, but my favorite part about going to Costco-type stores is seeing what other people are buying. The giant jars of mayonnaise, the case of Hi-C, the 10-pound bags of whatever. I find it highly entertaining.
Apparently you must live on the bad side of town, the WinCo i shop at as no worse customers than a Safeway store???
I always check out what people are buying too and wonder where the heck they are going to put a five gallon jar of pickles.
The funny thing about our WinCo is it is in a nice neighborhood. I don’t know where the people who shop there come from. I guess the other side of the tracks.
We have a place like that. A trip there is like an ethnographic undercover assignment.
Why bother with the tofu? Be proud of your Oreo’s!
The tofu was just a decoy.
Mock if you must, but Fabio has truly found his calling with that grocery bagging thing.
The gig pays for his hair products and gym membership.
Everything you said is so true. I would tag along to my friends WinCo trips to just people watch…and steal from the bulk section. Yes, I’m THAT cheap for a snack.
They have the best selection of bulk products in bins. I’ve been known to “sample” as well. Shhh . . . don’t tell anyone.
Don’t forget the crying babies who cry the whole time the parents shop. Yet still, I can’t stay away!
How did I forget to mention the crying babies?
You forgot to add that his mohawk is turquoise!!! This was a hilarious post!!! ooooh too many words – LOL, ROFLOL. There’ that’s better. We have WinCo here, but I’m afraid of neon pink nails. How do I know she didn’t filter the steel cut oats through her fingernails as she was scooping them out of the gigantic bin? And the ladies with the tatooed teeth and pimply backs…they are from the South Central Valley, gone to the big city to show off all their tats, that’s tats with an A ,BTW. Still it’s a notch above Walmart people – have you ever seen THAT you tube? I tried to audition, but couldn’t make the grade!!!
D) Marsha 
I’ve seen the People of Walmart website and the photos are unbelievable. I haven’t seen the youTube video. I’ll have to take a peek, if I can bear to look at it. Oh, and yes, the mohawks are often brilliant colors not found in nature.
Very scary!!! NEWEST People Of Walmart Photos (Updated 8-10-11) – YouTube
Oh good lord.
Nicely described! Sorry to say its true……but it’s half the price of Safeway!
Safeway is a rip off. I get angry when I shop there and wonder why I didn’t make the slightly longer drive to WinCo.
I did not know you did stand-up comedy, Robin. This was hilarious! And unfortunately true. Sam’s club always feels that way to me. I am especially puzzled by the overweight crowd who like to sit at the picnic tables at the front of the store and eat nasty looking pepperoni pizza. I find my little judgmental self thinking – not in a million years would I spend my Saturday lunch points eating pizza at Sam’s – not even two million…
Stand-up comedy . . . so happy to know I amused you!
They eat that nasty looking pizza AFTER they’ve gorged themselves on the free samples. Heck, I’ve been know to make lunch out of the samples.
BTW do you know that there is a whole website called People of Walmart?
http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/photos/random-photos/page/5/
you have to see it to believe it!
The photos of the people of Walmart are unreal. Do these people not own mirrors? Or, do they look at themselves in the mirror and think, “Damn. I look hot today! I think I’ll head over to Walmart and show off my back fat!”
I know, Right? hahahahaha
Uh oh! We shop at WinCo AND I have tattoo’s! But I ALWAYS wear my teeth when I go! tehe!
Tattoos look much better when you have your teeth in. Completes the look.
Robin, you forgot to mention the Mexicans that come in with grills and rhinestones all over their teeth. They love to smile so you can see all that shiny metal!
I don’t understand the grill thing. I pay a lot of money for dental work to avoid the need for fake teeth.
It’s hysterical to see! Imagine someone smiling and all you see is metal with perhaps a star cut out and a rhinestone here and there. It’s kinda creepy if you ask me.
More than kinda creepy. It is CREEPO.
I think PBR is a hipster beer these days…. But I don’t think that’s the clientele you described. These are the experiences where, when you put them in a novel, people say things like, “on, that’s too over the top,” or “you’re exaggerating.” And, of course, you’re not!
“oh,” not “on” — grr.
Yeah, I heard that PBR is kinda in now. Also in with the country music crowd. It is mentioned in songs like Zach Brown’s Adios and Vaya con Dios song.
The clientele at WinCo is shakey. When I passed a cute gal wearing riding boots, a Burberry-esque raincoat, and hair swept into a loose twist, we gave each other the “Oh look. Someone who doesn’t look like an ex convict” look and smiled at each other.
I saw that you commented about my “blog less often” comment and now I can’t find it. I’ll email you, if that is ok.
That’s fine.
I agree–Robin is not exaggerating. What she described above is what I always feel when I go to Walmart, except I’ve never had the nerve to verbalize it. (You know, we Target folks are so much edgier.
) Now I don’t have to. Way to be bold, Robin!
It fits the Walmarts out here, too.
Thankfully, yes, there’s Target!
Been there; done that! I shop at No Frills but we can’t buy beer or any of that good stuff there. Ha ha. Shopping is such an entertaining experience these days.
Out no frills place has a large beer department as well as two snack aisles! Two!
It doesn’t have a health food department or organic produce. Unless you call corn nuts health food.
We have the equivalent in the UK ~ love the descriptors
Thanks Polly.
Real life feels like/sounds like/looks like fiction sometimes, doesn’t it? Great descriptions!
It sure does. As far as my descriptions? I was just telling it like it is.
But you ‘showed,’ not tell(ed). :+)
Oh good! I wasn’t even trying to show not tell. How come when I do try, it comes out all tell-you-so-ish.
Exactly the reason I tell my creative writing class – don’t try and write ‘seriously,’ just write like you’re talking to your best friends. That’s what you do on your blog – you have such a fun conversation with us all, and we love it.
Well thank you so much! I love our virtual conversations. You folks are so funny and clever.
More tattoos than teeth! Haha, great line.
I agree it’s worth it with those kinds of places, I’m reluctant to buy suspect brands I’ve never heard of at cheap shops, but as you say, Cheerios are Cheerios!
If they spend some of their money on dental work rather than on tattoos, the attractiveness factor would improve. Not a lot, but some.
As my mom would say, it just frosts me to pay $2 more for a box of cereal because the floor was tiled rather than cement slab.
I’m so glad to see you entering into your research in the proper spirit. I prefer doing my research taking High Tea at the Windsor or visiting Aunty Jenny’s Knitting Club. (tongue in cheek)
Say hello to the Queen for me. Ask her if she wants me to pick up a pallet of toilet paper for the castle while I’m at Sam’s Club.
In this case the Windsor is simply an old hotel in Melbourne, Australia, far removed from my usual coffee houses.
Sounds like my kind of hotel . . . Queen or no Queen.
Needed a giggle today with the dreary weather
Everybody need a place to visit once in a while. It sounds like Walmart/Sam’s here.
There are multiple levels of grocery chains here ( this area is a real cut throat grocery marketing area for all sorts of chains…they come in with big woop-t-do – and we take bets how long they will last.
(Whew- can you imagine those tatoos when the owner is like 90 years old…no don’t…it’s too horrifying)
Oreos are a basic food group. So not good to deny yourself those…ration mabe, but deny, no.
(They are a major item on hurricane preparation lists)
If an Oreo is good enough for a hurricane preparation list, it is good enough for me.
I think about tattoos on old bodies too. And boob jobs. Can you imagine? Wizened bodies, perky breasts. Ew again.
I know docs….even they cringe
Ugghh…the nine inch nails! Why are those people always the ones to serve my food?
Why am I confronting you about it?
They are food servers because they can’t type with those nails and it precludes them from office work. Now back off. I’m not to blame for your nailed food servers.
You’re try to tell us you wouldn’t pay a few bucks to have Fabio bag your groceries? I don’t believe that for second.
This all reminds me of the Stones’ “Beggars Banquet”. Time to make my ears bleed.
I pay the extra bucks to have Fabio unload my groceries at home. Shhhh . . . don’t tell my husband.
OMG! ROFLOL!! …Now that my tears have dried. I swear, there is one of those stores, everywhere.
One trip to the State Fair, and bingo. You got a boatload of trailer park trash.
You are on a roll today. My sides hurt.
kerfuflle.. haa love that word. We have Priced Right here– equivalent to your Winco. I am sorry to say that the store is super dirty and I just cannot stomach buying food there. Clientele apparently is the same across the country– egads.
Fortunately, WinCo is very clean, the produce is decent, and the meat department is good. BUT, the prices keep me going back. I forgot to say that I bought a box of those Valentine’s conversation candy hearts at Safeway the other day. It was $1. At Winco? 25 cents. I will never darken Safeway’s door again.
wow that is a huge difference
Ticked me off.
WinCo sounds awesome! Every single thing is a wonderful gift for your future writing. Why don’t you take a little notebook and spend some time there with your Oreos, er, tofu? We’d love to read about the characters. And I want some cheap cereal that doesn’t come in wheelbarrow loads! I’m so jealous!
If I take notes about the shoppers at WinCo, they will think I am their parole officer or an undercover cop.
Paranoia. Even better. ; )
Robin,
I wish I could say I only added 3 lbs. but at least I don’t drink PBR.
I’ll have to stop into a WinCo next time I venture south.
Funny!
Red
Isn’t PBR making a resurgence in popularity?
A trip to WinCo is good for a few laughs and a few “OMGs!”
Not as far as I’m concerned. That was college beer!
I believe my husband calls it “Piss Water.” Yummo.
Agreed!
I like shopping at Costco – but where I’ve moved to now they have none of these types of stores (the country is a bit slow at catching up with the major cities). But strangely enough the groceries are cheaper in the country than the city, anyway (go figure!)
I know exactly what you mean by the ‘wide loads’ and this gave me a big giggle! Some shopping centers are like this and the hair cuts they give their kids are tantamount to child abuse…
I’m going for a pedicure this morning and I’m going to ask them for “Barbie Claws Ken” for my toes!
Yes! The kids’ haircuts! I forgot to write about that! A kid (boy) probably 4 or so had a mohawk, rat’s tail, and pierced ear. I doubt he made those wise decisions.