“How To Get Published” Information Overload

Tags

Getting published, Publishing industry, self-publishing, writers, writing

For those of you following my blog (thank you!), you know I have been spending my days researching the best way to get my novel In Search of Beef Stroganoff published. For those of you NOT following me (please do!), now you know how I have been whiling away my days.

It is official; I am on information overload. There are so many smart people out there with sage advice, tips, and do’s and don’ts. I can’t take it all in! I’ve bookmarked dozens of websites, taken notes, thrown up my hands in defeat, and also found hope that one day my book will be on an actual- or cyberspace-bookshelf.

The discussions on self-publishing vs. traditional publishing and the changing industry are robust with good information. Just when I think “Ah ha! I have a game plan,” I read something else counseling that Game Plan B is better. Then I read another article with the advice that the sure-fire way to go is Game Plan C. And on and on it goes. Without sounding like I am whining (well maybe a little), I’d like to be adopted by someone who says, “Here honey, I’ll handle it for you.” Since being adopted is unlikely at my age, I’ll forge ahead on my own for now.

I am an huge fan of the brilliant movie by Mel Brooks, Young Frankenstein. Like in the movie, I wish someone would hand me this:

Photo credit to lorinalynn’s album at photobucket.com

Anyone else feel the same way?

P.S. My thanks to all the people out there who know more than I do and are willing to share their wisdom. Stealing another favorite line from a favorite movie, The Wizard of Oz, (sing along everyone), “I’ve been whiling away the hours, conversing with the”  . . . bloggers.

A Rejection Letter from l958

Back in the l940s my uncle worked with Richard Corson who was an actor, playwright, and published author. He wrote four books that are still referred to as the definitive bibles of the stage and cinema:  Stage Makeup, Fashions in Hair, Fashions in Makeup, and Fashions in Glasses. His books sell internationally and are published in several languages. You can Google him.

He also wrote children’s books. I recently went through some of my uncle’s papers and ran across the manuscript for Mr. Corson’s children’s book titled A Cookie for Abigail Twelve. It was typed on a typewriter (gasp!) and bound in one of those folders we used to use for themed essays, such as “How I Spent My Summer Vacation.”

Tucked inside the front cover was this rejection letter dated September 25, l958.

In this age of electronic submissions, a changing publishing industry, and impersonal form letters, I thought it might be interesting to harken back to the days of yore when rejection still hurt, but felt a tad gentler.

By the way, I read his manuscript and it is charming. In my opinion, it is publish-worthy.

This photo is of Richard Corson (right) and my uncle when they were in a production of Cyrano de Bergerac.

 

Writing Weather?

Tags

authors, Charles Dickens, Oregon, Portland, writers, writing

I just got back from a week in Portland, Oregon “senior-sitting” my 90-year-old uncle. The visit was bittersweet. The “sweet” was spending time with him. I adore everything about the man. The “bitter” was seeing how much his health has declined since I last saw him, just two short months ago.

The other “bitter” part was the weather.

I left 75-degree weather in Sacramento to endure the rain, gray, gloom, and doom Portland handed me along with my bag off the luggage carousel. I was a bit miffed about it. My sister, a former Californian turned staunch Oregonian, told me they have special powers to make it rain if anyone from California deigns to cross their border. They say it is to keep us smug-about-our-fantastic-weather Cali-folks from moving there. Here is some news for you Oregonians. You can keep it. It rains every time I visit!

Aside from hanging out with my really cool uncle, the yucky weather gave me plenty of time to write. What the hell else was I going to do?  I whined about the Portland weather in an email to my friend who lives in England and he replied with:

“Portland sounds like England. Blissful misery. I lost all respect for Shakespeare when he uttered the question, “Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?” Clearly Shakespeare’s England didn’t have the same weather it has now because if he was looking to compare anyone to a summer’s day that would be the ultimate insult – in modern terms it translates to “You’re cold, wet, and boring.”

I got to thinking. Why is it that some of our best and most prolific writers are from gloomy places? Let’s reflect. Dickens and Shakespeare wrote in the fog of England. Ken Kesey and Beverly Cleary (love her) of children’s book fame hail from rainy Oregon. We also have Yeats, C.S. Lewis, Shaw, Swift, and Oscar Wilde from Ireland. New England gave us Poe, Hawthorne, Longfellow, and Dickinson. Need I say more about gloom and brilliance?

Maybe I would be a better writer if it rained more in California. However, I would rather write in the sunshine than in a rainstorm.

There have been many recent posts posing questions such as: “Where do you write?” “Can you tolerate noise when your write?” etc.

Here is a new question. What kind of weather is most conducive to your writing day?

Give me a beautiful day in the pine-scented mountains.

Maybe I Should Write A Beer Blog

Tags

beer, blogging, Valentine's Day

My husband is the only person I know who can turn Valentine’s Day into a beer-drinking contest. We have three girls who are now all grown up. Ever since they were little, he treated them like princesses on Valentine’s Day. They would wake up to heart-shaped pancakes, balloons tied to their chairs, candy and flowers at each place, AND a classic book such as Of Mice and Men. When our oldest went off to college, she said with a wistful sigh, “I am going to miss Dad’s Valentine’s Days the most.” I tried to not take it personally.

This year he sent them each a Valentine’s card with a new $100 bill tucked inside. He wrote on the card, “The challenge is on. See who can find the coolest beer and the coolest place to drink it. Submit your photo to the judges.”

My husband is making a goofy face in our backyard. One kid is fishing on the Snake River is Boise, one is snowboarding in Vail, and the other is on the stage of a comedy club in Los Angeles. And no, she isn’t a stand-up comedian.

What a crack-up. Here is a collage of the photos:

Why am I telling you all this? Because . . . it is interesting that the beer-drinking collage got about a billion “Likes” on Facebook but some of my well-crafted, thought-provoking, and imaginative blog posts got six views. Go figure. Maybe I should blog about beer.

Blog Magic

Tags

blogging, blogs, writing

Something magical has happened twice since I started this blog.

Three years ago I worked at a non-profit agency with a man who never failed to make me laugh. He had a deliciously wicked and dry sense of humor . . . my favorite kind. We lost touch when we both left the agency. OUT OF THE BLUE, I got a comment on my blog post titled, “100 Beautiful Words” from “Chuck the Accountant.” At first it creeped me out because he made reference to my “lissome body.” I was about to delete the comment without approving it when “Chuck’s” email address caught my eye. It was my long lost friend! The crack about Chuck liking my body was reference to an inside joke from years ago. So, abracadabra, like magic I found my old friend, or rather, he found me.

Today I received a comment from a very distant cousin who lives in Sweden. We exchange Christmas cards every year, but that is it. I never mentioned my blog to her, so how did she find me!? Maybe I have a huge following in Sweden I am not aware of.

It got me thinking. I wonder how many of you have connected or reconnected with someone because of your blog? Or their blog? Who was it and how did you find each other? I’d love to know!

A Talented Man

Tags

aging, writing

I’ve had to hit the pause button on my blog for two days because I am in a weird place. Actually, I am in Portland and do they sell tee-shirts and bumper stickers here that say “Keep Portland Weird,” but that isn’t what I mean. I am in Portland visiting my 90½-year-old uncle who is living with my sister. (Isn’t it cute that you start counting the ½-years like a toddler when you are over the age of 90?)

The weird thing I am referring to is my state of mind. My uncle is the most life-loving and effervescent person I know. He was a director, actor, producer, and stage manager on Broadway since the late l940s. I adore the man and so does everyone else who has been lucky enough to know him. The problem is his mind is sharp but his body is failing and it is hard to watch happen. What is harder to see is he is aware of it happening too and he hates it.

I saw him just two short months ago and the difference in his mobility and strength since then is shocking. Up until this visit to Portland, I was under the impression he was going to live forever. Denial was a warm and cozy place to be and I liked it much better than what I am feeling now.

So, this particular post has nothing to do with writing and everything to do about a tribute to my beautiful and talented uncle. Thanks for humoring me and now excuse me. I need to find a tissue.

Will My Finished Novel Really Ever Be Finished?

Tags

editing, Roz Morris, when is your book finished?, writing, writing tips

“Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task.”

~William James

The problem with being a perfectionist is, well simply put . . . being a perfectionist. If you are one of “those” people, you know what I am talking about. Sure, there are some things I can let go of, like my messy closet I must get around to organizing with a bulldozer, but there are other things I am a terrier about.

My book is one of them. I find myself saying, “My book is finished . . . almost.”

Of course I want it free of typos and such, but when does one stop word-smithing? I’m not talking about changing the word “happy” to “glad” here. Reworking sentences and even whole paragraphs to make them perfect is a noble pursuit, but when does one know when a novel is finished? The day it is on bookstore shelves? The day the Pope blesses it? The day the kitchen timer goes off with a resounding ding to indicate my book is finished baking?

So I tweek, rearrange, spit-polish, tighten, and gnaw on my book like a bone. I sometimes think our old friend Mr. Shakespeare nailed it in the line from King Lear, “Striving to better, we oft mar what’s well.” I know this is true from experience. In some of my editing and tweeking, a later find that I left in a stray word I meant to take out, or take out too many.

But then again, we have these two conflicting quotes:

Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.”

~Antoine de Saint-Exupery

AND

“A beautiful thing is never perfect.”

~The Book of Proverbs

If you are struggling with the same dilemma, here is a link to Roz Morris’ helpful advice:

how-do-you-know-when-your-book-is-finished

I leave you with this. Even Mother Nature isn’t always perfect. Here is an example of when she got it right:

Tornadoes on the other hand, she should rethink.

Writing Lessons From the Funny Papers

Tags

adjectives, comic strips, Jerry Scott, Jim Bergman, writers, writing, writing tips, Zits

The photo collage above was waiting for me in my in-box this morning. A good chuckle is a lovely way to start one’s morning. That is why the first thing I do while standing at the kitchen counter in the morning . . . bleary-eyed with coffee in hand . . . is read the newspaper’s comic page. Wars, famines, and political debates have to wait until I am more awake and have had a little laugh. I some how don’t think the world’s problems are going to go away while I read Zits in the funny papers.

If you don’t know it, Zits is about 16-year-old Jeremy and his parents. It is spot-on everyday. I think Jerry Scott and Jim Bergman, the strip’s creators, are brilliant writers. In three for four frames they capture what it is like to live with a teenager boy. What does this have to do with writing a novel you ask? A lot can be learned from their ability to tell a story in so little space. Sure, they have the advantage of the drawings to help them, but whenever I am tempted to use six adjectives to describe, let’s say, a good meal, I think of Zits. Wouldn’t one perfect word – like sumptuous – work better? Suddenly a “tasty, delicious, flavorful, yummy, appetizing, and delectable meal” seems bland.

Anyone have any ideas for a sumptuous meal I can make for dinner tonight? I’m too busy playing solitaire to go through my cookbooks.

Nurturing The Writer Within

Tags

creative process, Eat Pray Love, Elizabeth Gilbert, writing, www.ted.com

I may have been the last person on earth to hear about www.ted.com. If you are, in fact, the last person to hear about it not me, I highly recommend checking it out. If you think YouTube and Pinterest is addictive . . . watch out for this one.

Ted, as I like to call him, has the tagline “Ideas Worth Spreading.” The site has 1,000+ twenty-or-so minute lectures, fireside chats really, by experts in fields such as the arts, technology, design, global issues, and business.

I heard about Ted a year ago when I was knee-deep in editing my novel. A friend suggested I watch Elizabeth Gilbert’s (of Eat, Pray, Love fame) talk on nurturing the creative process. It moved me to tears – not because it was sad, but because it resonated with the writer within me.

Since my first viewing, I have watched Elizabeth’s talk several more times and recommended it to others (including you). Her lecture isn’t just for writers. It is for all creative people . . .  which means everyone on the planet, right?

Just make sure you have twenty minutes (or more!) to spare from your creative pursuits when you take a look at the site. Remember, I said it was addictive.

Elizabeth Gilbert on Nurturing Creativity

Permission Granted to Read

Tags

books, reading, writing

I wonder why I don’t give myself permission more often to drop everything and read. Since I love books, one would think that I would be curled up with one every chance I get. Unless I am sick, I feel guilty doing it. Perhaps it is because laundry is breathing down my neck or the garage is giving me the stink-eye because it needs a major cleaning. Maybe it is because my husband is toiling away at work to support my lifestyle and I couldn’t let my thanks to him be my acting like the Queen of Sheba. Who was the Queen of Sheba anyway? An avid reader perchance?

Travel allows me the luxury of reading time. Waiting for a flight at an airport and airplane rides would be torture if not for a book. It made me uneasy when on a flight to Paris, the woman next to me didn’t pass the time reading. She didn’t even pick up the airline magazine or SkyMall catalog. I wanted to hand her my book and say, “read lady!” I didn’t because then what would I do? Stare into middle-space like she had been doing?

It also makes me uncomfortable if I don’t have a line-up waiting for me when I finish reading a book. The result is I have gathered masses of books around me like little friends. They are all wondering when I am going to pick them up.

They say (I wonder who is the “they” is – Ms. Sheba?) that reading helps one to be a better writer. Maybe I should disembark from the “Guilt Train” and think of reading as a way to better my craft, like on-the-job training.

With that . . . I am off to snuggle with my book.

Grammar Rules Really Can Be Funny

High school was eons ago, and although I was in Honors English, I never diagrammed a sentence. When editing my book I decided I should bone-up on things like “passive voice” and “split infinitives” (still not sure what the heck that is). I referred to serious tomes like The Chicago Manual of Style as well as the breezy and insanely popular Grammar Girl’s Quick and Dirty Tips for Better Writing by Mignon Fogarty. I also turned to our friend Mr. Google because he seems to know everything.

The link below takes you to fifty or so “Rules for Writers.” I thought I had found the definitive site for all things grammar. As I read down the list, I was chuckling by the fourth “Rule.” You will see what I mean.

For those of us who cringe when we hear a preposition at the end of a sentence, this list is like fingernails on a chalkboard. Oops, I broke the “Rule” about not using clichés.  Sorry. Oops, I broke the “Rule” about one-word sentences. So sorry again!

Enjoy!

 Rules for Writers

100 Beautiful Words

Tags

words, writing, writing tips

I mentioned in an earlier post that I love words. Back in the day before paper dictionaries went by the wayside like the dinosaurs, I would pull mine out at the drop of a hat to look up a word I didn’t know, or to confirm I used a word properly. It never failed to delight, for example, when I used “curmudgeon” correctly to describe a surly person. I still look words up just as often – it is much faster now thanks to Mr. Google.

The link below takes to you 100 mellifluous (beautiful) words and I plan to work each one into sentences in my future blog posts with insouciance (blithe nonchalance). Phew, two down . . .

100 Most Beautiful Words in the English Language

The End of the Publishing World?

Tags

publishing, self-publishing, writing

This video captures some misconceptions of “the end of the publishing world as we know it.” It is well done and worthy of two and a half minutes of your time.

Publishing “World In Which We Live In”

Tags

literary agent, self-publishing, traditional publishing

As we all know, the publishing industry is changing faster than Lady Gaga’s hairstyle. I don’t yet know which way to go. As the lyrics of the song “Live and Let Die” by Wings say – “this ever changing world in which we live in . . .” (Really Sir Paul? Horrible grammar. Ending your sentence in a preposition?).

My novel is finished and is in the hands of a few people whose opinion I respect and trust. While I’m waiting for their feedback, I am researching whether I should self-publish or attempt to find an agent and go the traditional route.

Information abounds about both options on the Internet. In fact, there is too much information. Some tout the wonders of self-publishing and others argue that with right query letter, I could be on the next flight for my book-signing tour. And yet others stand tightrope-walk the fence, explain the merits of both, and then simply say it is up to me.  Such advice leaves me scratching my head in an unbecoming manner.

At this moment, I am leaning toward finding an agent and indulge myself in daydreams about mobs of fans throwing themselves at my feet at Barnes and Nobles.

And now, back to my research. Wish me luck.

 

 

 

 

OMG, it is like, an Exclamation Point!!!!!!!!

Tags

exclamation poiints

I love a good exclamation point. See my last post if you don’t believe me. However, in today’s world of hype and sensory overload, they are overused. Exclamation points are as common as the word “like” in a teenage girl’s vocabulary. In your best 14-year-old girl voice read the following:

“Like, she was like, OMG, are you going to, like, wear that shirt to, like, the dance?”

It helps if you shrug, roll your eyes, and flip your hair while you read it.

Teenage girl aside, I found that my words, not the punctuation marks, need to get the point across.

Instead of:

“His kiss was so passionate!!”

How about:

“His kiss made my socks melt.”

Whoa baby, that was, like, one heck of a good kiss.

I kept a few “!s” in my book because I couldn’t part with them. Call me a junkie, but I am in rehab.

That’s Excrement!!!!!!!!

Tags

autocorrect

Not long after I bought my iPhone, my daughter texted me saying that she received a B+ on a paper she toiled over. If I recall, the prompt for the essay was asinine and about as clear as a foggy day in London. I understood why she struggled because I struggled to help edit it.

But that’s not the point here.

I responded to her text by saying “That’s excrement honey!!!!!!!!” (Yes, I use eight exclamation points when I am excited.)

She wrote back with “Geez Mom, don’t you think that is a little harsh?”

Damn autocorrect took advantage of my terrible texting ability and changed “EXCELLENT” to “EXCREMENT.” I meant excellent, excellent, excellent!!!!!!!!

So . . . the point here is that autocorrect is both a blessing and excrement. Be careful out there.

Sorry honey! I really WAS proud of you!

Toiling over an essay with chocolate always eases the pain . . .

Strong vs Weak Words ~ That

Tags

editing, overuse of the word that, Strong vs Weak Words, Strong Words, Weak Words, writing

I have a problem with “that!”

Have you ever searched your writing for the word “that?” I did, and holy snarkies! I threw in unnecessary “thats” all over the place. Here is a poorly written example for illustrative purposes:

She said that the book is that one that she read when

she was at that house in the Hamptons.

Really?  Four needless “thats?”

She said the book is the one she read when she

was at the house in the Hamptons.

Not Pulitzer quality writing, but you get the point.

Wanting to practice what I preach, I rechecked my novel for “thats.” Yikes . . . there are many more I can take out.

Take THAT, that!

Oh man . . . she used “that” for the four millionth time.

Strong vs Weak Words ~ Adverbs

Tags

adverbs, intensifiers, John R. Trimble, Strong vs Weak Words, Strong Words, Weak Words

You would have thought that somewhere along the way, I would have heard this advice. No high school or college English teacher ever mentioned it to me. It is a simple warning. Adverbs and intensifying words weaken sentences. Here is an example:

OK:  Her purse was very small.

I get it, she had a tiny purse.

WAY BETTER: Her purse was miniscule.

Doesn’t that paint a better picture of a purse the size of a pea pod? In the example above, “miniscule” is a stronger word than “small.”

I learned this tip in John R. Trimble’s book Writing with Style, Conversations on the Art of Writing, an excellent resource for anyone who writes anything from an email to a novel. Being a diligent researcher, I discovered that many others have given the same advice. Where have I been?

Here is an example of weak “ly” adverb use:

OK: When she quietly entered the room, she annoyingly startled me.

WAY BETTER: She crept into the room like a burglar and I jumped like a startled cat.

Do you know anyone who can loudly creep…? Er, creep like a gorilla? Creep implies quiet. Isn’t being startled annoying?

Worse than the lowly adverb is the use of multiple intensifiers. I really, really, really hate that. Oops, I mean I abhor that!

Granted, a well-placed adverb has its place, but searching my writing for “ly” words and very, really, extremely, terribly, and the like made it much better.

Thanks very much Professor Trimble! Or rather I should say, my undying gratitude…

Happy National Bean Dip Day!

Tags

bean dip recipe, football, Super Bowl

Our daughter Paige called today to wish us happy National Bean Dip Day. I had almost forgotten. To the rest of America, today is Super Bowl Sunday, but in my household, it is an excuse to eat bean dip. Some of us watch the game, some of us (me) watch for the commercials and half-time show, and some of us do both while eating bean dip.

WARNING: The following recipe is addictive. Be sure you make it when you have other people around to prevent consuming the whole thing yourself and then regretting it the next day. There hasn’t been one person who has had it and not asked me for the recipe.

Aunt Julie’s Bean Dip

1 can Fritos Brand Bean Dip

1 package taco seasoning (We use the “HOT” variety for more zip.)

1 8-ounce package cream cheese – softened

1 cup sour cream

½ cup grated cheddar cheese

¼ cup sliced green onion

Mix the first 4 ingredients. Place in an ovenproof dish. Top with grated cheese. Bake for 20 minutes (or so). Remove from oven, top with green onions, and serve with corn chips or tortilla chips.

SECOND WARNING: In addition to being addictive, be careful . . . it will burn the roof of your mouth when straight out of the oven.  Ask Paige. It has happened to her more than once.

Everybody’s a Critic

Tags

dachshund

William reading an early draft of my book . . .

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If dogs could talk, I believe he is saying, “Are you sure you want to write that?!?”