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Overused Words, Overusing the Word Went, Strong Verbs, Strong vs Weak Words, Strong Words, Weak Verbs, Weak Words, Went, writers, writing, Writing Advice
Stop the presses folks.
I discovered another innocuous verb lying flat on the pages of my manuscript.
“Went”
The word “went” is mild-mannered, but it serves to dam the flow of the story, cause the reader yawn, and make an “action-scene” read as exciting as the phone book.
Like other sneaky little weak words such as “got” and “that,” when edited out, the sentences belt out a song rather than hum off-key. Here are a couple examples of the passive-aggressive “went” torn from the pages of my book.
I went home and cried.
Oh yeah? Big deal. So I changed it to:
Dejected, I crawled home and cried.
~~~~~~~~
Angry, I went into my boss’s office.
Boy, you really showed her! The re-written sentence became:
Angry, I slammed open the door to my boss’s office.
I challenge you to search for the weak word “went” in your writing and see if you can change it to a strong verb with pizazz. Let me know what you find.
Robin Coyle 
What a great series Robin! I have a hard time finding grammar tips that aren’t over my head. The weak words tips are actually helpful and do not get carried away with grammar elitism. Thank you!
Why, thank you. There is a ton of writing/editing advice out there. So much of it says “don’t do this, don’t do that” but doesn’t give concrete examples of what to do instead. I wanted to be short and sweet about what I learned on my own and not be all gramme-ish about it. I hope you have a chance to check out the rest of the series.
By the way, I love the name of your blog.
Thank you for the compliment.
I think I am going to pick out a handful of posts that I periodically review in the name of continuous improvement.
The concrete examples are what I love about the series. Many of the self proclaimed experts who say “don’t do this, don’t do that” are flat out wrong. Those who are genuine experts frequently give examples that are either too simple, or are so over my head I don’t get it. Grammar Girl, for example, is over my head believe it or not.
Do you know of any other good blogs or series that I should follow? Sites that have relevant examples like yours?
At the risk of sounding self-important, I will say I haven’t seen any other blogs/articles/books with writing advice like mine. The advice is either too long and wordy, over-simplified, or over-grammar-ized. I like to give one take-away in each of my posts in the series . . . something you can read and then check your WIP against. The topics in every post are things I learned while editing my work. I thought, “If this is an issue for me, maybe others can benefit from it too.” Or, ignore and move on.
I think you should create a new series where bloggers like me can submit grammar questions. I have questions all the time but don’t know where to go to seek an answer. I just published one the other day. Right now I am wondering when quotations should be italicized and when they shouldn’t…stuff comes up every week for me!
Oh gosh, I’m no expert in the grammar arena. Opening myself up to something like you suggest intimidates me! My series is more about word choice than grammar.
You have readers that can chime in too. Make it open source.
Well, that is an interesting idea. I’m gonna think about it.
I remembered a blog I follow that gives grammar lessons. She has done only a few posts so far, but she knows what she is talking about. She is a teacher. It is pretty technical, but I’ve learned from it.
http://quietlywritingnoise.com/category/writing/
Her regular blog is hysterical. I’m a huge fan.
I’m moving this back up a level because it was getting two squished. That is an example of grammar that is too advanced for me. I don’t understand what she is talking about. I either have forgotten the terminology or never learned it. 😦 http://quietlywritingnoise.com/2013/02/20/workshop-wednesday-sentence-imitating-appositive-phrases/
Yes, that post (and others she’s written) was pretty over my head too. I still don’t kow what an appositive phrase is.
Now let us discuss those possessives. My 12th grade English teacher taught me that if you pronounce the possessive, then it gets the possessive apostrophe and the S. So if you went into your boss’s office, you pronounce the possessive, therefore it should be “boss’s” instead of “boss’ “. There are two exceptions that I know of: possessive of Jesus and Texas. Although you pronounce the possessive S, you don’t add it.
Well lookie here! I learned something new today. I also read this . . .
My boss’s phone – correct because it doesn’t have 3 ‘s’ sounds in a row (ss counts as a single sound.
My boss’ secretary – correct
My boss’s secretary – incorrect.
True.
Reblogged this on Tracy Hall Site.
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Went certainly is blah compared to so many alternatives. I have to check writings yet … just wondering though – is it possible to slam OPEN a door? … just wondering on that one.
I think I “slammed open” a door or two in my time, but your point is well-taken. Perhaps it would be better said, “I flung the door open,” or “Dust waltzed in the air when I . . . ” Words are musical, aren’t they?
P. S. Thanks for helping me out earlier . . .
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73 insiped little wents in my book. Out went, out!
Didn’t that feel good? Did they stomp out? Skip out? Stride out? Tiptoe out?
They stayed on the doorstep all night long whimpering. I was strong.
Oooh. whimpering is brilliant.So visual.
Hey did you change your picture?
I did change my picture. I’m so photopobic.
But what a lovely photo it is!
And you are a lovely women. Happy Mother’s day.
Pingback: Strong vs Weak Words – Part 3 « Robin Coyle
I used that one quite often D: I better fix it 🙂 I like how you put examples its really helpful
Oh good. I’m glad you found it helpful. If you don’t mind me asking, how many times did it crop up?
only like 15 times so far not done yet 🙂
Keep me posted. Misery loves company.
76 on my novel, 22 on the other one
How nice to know I keep good company! Did you get rid of all of them or did some “people” get to stay at the party?
they “Went” bye bye lol
Ha ha! Atta way!
Fantastic, Robin – this is a really useful post. It’s really important for us, as writers, to reflect on our own work… I’m having problems right now with trying to figure out alternatives for using a person’s name or ‘she’/’her’ and ‘her’/’him’. It’s tough!
Thanks for the tip!
I don’t think there is anything wrong with simply using their name or she/he or him/her. Like with dialogs tags, it is best to keep them unobtrusive. You wouldn’t want to say,”The woman in the black veil danced the Macarena,” when “she wore a black veil and danced the Macarena” works just fine. My opinion tho. Anyone else want to weigh in?
Wow, that is actually what I’ve been trying to say for an age – how did you know? 😉 He he he. You’re right, I just worry that it becomes utterly repetitive to constantly draw attention to the character performing the action… 🙂
I have a list of words to avoid. I’ll make sure they’re on it. I am pleased that I’ve reduced and in some case removed some weak words. That’s what I like about the editing process. It’s a chance to hone and improve.
That is what I like about editing too. Polishing!
Yes! Yes! Yes!
Ha Ha! Down with the “went!”
You make me grow… You’re my sunshine and water! hee hee, No really though… 😀
What a sweet thing you are. I’m glad you don’t think I’m your “fertilizer” too, hee hee.
hee hee
The truth is, when I write something I blog it out there into the universe, then I see you comment, and I go into a total panic and suddenly find two hundred grammatical errors… It’s like handing a paper to my favorite professor! ha ha (but it’s true!)
Wow! What a difference! Definitely stronger without ‘went’.
And making the edits to get rid of “went” was so easy.
To late for me, I’m already in print.
However, I was always aware of “got” and “that” but I’m not even going to check how many “wents” there are…
Yeah . . . I’d let the “wents” go too. Congrats for being in print. I hope I will be too someday soon.
You will.
Keep that positive energy coming my way!
Most of my “wents” are limited to dialogue. Some of those need to stay. People often don’t speak with stronger verbs. I’ll have to balance a realistic sound with the realities of good dialogue….
Another excellent point!
So true. When I edited my short story anthology, there were many of the word “went” found. Ack. I was also told (by my editor for the anthology) that the word “angry” doesn’t always need to be written, but just shown. The slamming the door on the way out of the bosses office is enough to show the anger instead of naming the emotion. My writing partner also points out areas where I name emotions and need to show them with an action. Just another little food for thought.
Excellent point! Now I’ll look for that kind of “naming” in my manuscript and take them out, as well as the one above.
Got is awful. I’ve caught myself so many times with that one. Check out my latest: Verbal Abuse of the English Language http://wp.me/pYtD7-9Q
I’m good as far as ‘went’ goes. The word ‘that’ keeps rearing its ugly head. My current document had five of them. Some words are hard to tame. Good exercise, Robin.
Good for you for not abusing “went.” “That” and “got” crop up in my writing still and I do a search and replace for them every time.
Now I’m almost afraid to read back and see what I’ve written the last few days! 😀
Ha ha! It was pretty easy to whittle down the 30-odd times “went” appeared in my novel to just 4 times. The 4 remained because there wasn’t a better word. Saying “I skipped to the movies” isn’t better than simply “I went to the movies”
That is very true! I will definitely go back and take a look. I’m sure I used the word “went” quite a few times. Thanks for the idea! 🙂
Time to pour back through my latest work…darn it.
I’m working on “went” in my own work as we speak. So far, all but a couple are OUT!