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Here, for your reading pleasure, is the rest of the list of funny takes on grammar “rules.” Message to Tilly Bud over at The Laughing Housewife: the second rule on the list is for you. Not because I want you to stop with the puns, but because I hope the pun makes you grown (pun intented). If you want/need a daily laugh, visit Ms. Tilly Bud’s blog.

If you missed Part 1 of the “rules” – click right here.

▪    If you’ve heard it once, you’ve heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.

▪    Puns are for children, not groan readers.

▪    Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

▪    Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.

▪    Who needs rhetorical questions?

▪    Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

▪    The passive voice should never be used.

▪    Do not put statements in the negative form.

▪    Verbs have to agree with their subjects.

▪    A writer must not shift your point of view.

▪    Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences of 10 or more words, to their antecedents.

▪    Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.

▪    If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.

▪    Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.

▪    Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.

▪    Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing.

▪    Always pick on the correct idiom.

▪    The adverb always follows the verb.

▪    Be careful to use the rite homonym.

▪    Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

Thank you to Jenni Larsen for submitting these rules to curiouser.co.uk.