Are you a list maker? I am. My lists have lists. If I don’t write something down, it will never happen because the task goes poof from my brain if not committed to paper.
However, this post is about a different kind of list-making.
Remember the “Rule of Three.” We have the:
- Three Musketeers
- Three Little Pigs
- Tic Tac Toe
- Two’s company, three’s a crowd (Oops, bad example. Sorry.)
Take a look at this sentence:
I packed my pink sundress, yellow shoes, green handbag, peach nightie, white tube socks, red shorts, blue thong, (I mean thongs, as in flip flops), a bottle of sunscreen, and I was set for my trip to Aruba!
Aside from envy over someone packing for Aruba, didn’t she lose you after you heard she packed her nightie? (Ok, maybe the men were still interested.)
The “Rule of Three” is powerful. List more than three, your readers will wander off to the fridge for a cold drink.
Let’s take the sentence above and clean it up.
Aruba is a tropical paradise where men like to prowl the beach, so I simply threw sunscreen, my g-string bathing suit, and a sexy nightie into my suitcase.
Ok! I have your attention now!
Limit your lists to three items. If you love items four, five, and six, put them in another sentence and mix up the “list-y-ness.”.
For example, you could follow up “the hot, hot,” hot sentence above with:
Since my mother was coming along on the trip, I also packed a cardigan, sensible shoes, and a plastic rain bonnet. Otherwise, she would scold me for not thinking ahead. Damn her. The customs guy will think he is searching the suitcase of an 82-year-old woman.
Finding your lists in your writing is tricky if you don’t use the Oxford comma. (I’m a fan.) If you are a Oxford comma user, search for your lists by putting “and, ” (AND-COMMA-SPACE) in the search window.
Here’s the photo the HOT cabana boy took of me after I locked Mom in our hotel room.
Robin Coyle 
I love coming here to re-learn what I used to know but my grey matter has misplaced. Another awesome post, Robin. Thanks.
Thanks Tess! My grey-matter loses things all the time. Maddening.
I learned that one from my 12th grade English teacher, Mrs. Edith Head, but not THAT Edith Head.
But I bet it would be fun to learn English from Ms. Head. The real one.
It’s an interesting rule, I could think of examples that break it, and do work, but generally speaking I think it is a good one.
Can you give me an example?
Well the reason the rule is a good one is because it is a short term memory issue, our brains have limited capacity. Also in the first example provided each item is preceded by an adjective so there is a doubling effect. Most lists, the rule of three is therefore a good one. However we can get round this by providing memorable details, (you can actually learn random lists easily this way), but of course this is contextual. If for example you are familiar with a character, listing things relevant to what we know will allow more than the three, especially if we can related the items to something. If it is not something we are too familiar with, then it will be a struggle (unless we read it really slowly). For example, Spiderman packed his mask, pants, web shooter, frilly underwear, credit card, and handbag, might be easier to follow if you know spiderman, but you’ll struggle if not. Sometimes you can also present a list like a rhyme, but obviously this not something you could do in many contexts.
I had an academic interest in memory studies some time back, so I have seen all sorts of examples where the list of three is the good rule, but also exceptions where you can do other things. I’m struggling to think of something from the top of my head, but with the interest I’ve definitely noticed a variety of examples.
N.B. Three little pigs made me think of the seven dwarfs 🙂
I’m a fan of the Oxford comma. Makes things much less confusing. I love the rule of 3, although I naturally stop at 3 so I don’t worry too much about creating lists. In real life, lists galore!
The wig that I lent you really brings out your eyes.
And your feather bikini top fits me perfectly!
Early on in my writing, my lists were endless! I discovered it was a problem when I read the manuscript out loud. I would say to myself, “Get on with it already!” The process cured me.
So the problem is that if you have a really long list, you gotta divide it into new lists, you know like a family tree. 😉
Nice tips, Robin. As for that lassie at the end, I think she needs to wear a more supportive bikini! 😉
She is well endowed. They must give her back problems.
lmao!
Wow Robin, Got milk! Excuse me: Did the Cabana Boy offer to rub you down, remove your binding top, and dust off your sandy feet? 😉 I’ll remember this one as well. Thanks for making us all grow!
Yes. He is very helpful in that regard. He also fetched my drinks.
I am a dedicated list maker but I see your point in writing, excellently made by the way.
Why thank you! I won’t be posting for a while because I extended my vacation in Aruba. Cabana Boy is too irresistible.
I can barely get out of bed, if its not on my list… and I never know where to put a comma. Thank heaven for editors!
Commas are the bane of my existence. I didn’t know how bad is was until my sister, who is a technical writer, proofed my manuscript. Ugh.
PS – In case you didn’t put it on your list, don’t forget to get out of bed today.
I’m definitely a list-maker. For sure. But the Oxford comma is a tricky one… I have to use them for fiction but not for journalism. Sometimes making the switch-over is tough. I always hope I’ll catch them later on down the road in the editing process. Training as a journalist has stuck in my brain! (NO commas before the “and.”)
And my brain says, “Where the hell is the comma after the ‘and’ you numbskull?” Me being the numbskull, not you.
Another Oxford comma writer here, too. They cut off ambiguity so well. That Rachel Ray cover where she cooks her family and dog is going viral. And I’m suspicious of every panda I see in a restaurant. 😉
What Rachel Ray cover? I haven’t heard about it.
Interesting that there are more comments about the Oxford comma than the “list” issue. Maybe I am the only “list-y” girl?
It’s all over Facebook and showing up in blogs. You can see it in a post here:
http://myrandommuse.wordpress.com/2012/06/15/barbecueing-grandma-and-other-comma-catastrophies/
Oh my GOD. Hysterical. How did that get by an editor?!?!
P.S. I am so out of the loop.
I first saw it a couple of days ago when an editor friend posted it on FB. Then more people posted it, and so on, and so on…. 🙂
In my first manuscript, I didn’t do lists, but I way overdid the alliteration…. 😦
It is soooooooooooo bad. So bad. Her lack of commas, I mean, not your alliteration.
Mind giving me an example? Alliteration isn’t a problem for me, but maybe I should write about it. I’ve heard others say to avoid it. I don’t need to avoid it because I don’t do it. FINALLY . . . something I don’t have a problem with!
Or you should write about it.
This is from the draft when I was 2 months into the writing:
They decided on a split of pinot gris for the evening meal, opting for its cool and crisp citrus accents on the hot and muggy evening.
Ooh, but I love cool, crisp, and citrus accents in my wine. Darn. Now I can’t have any?
As long as you don’t write about them too much!
I’ve actually heard this before. Great advice to be reminded of. And isn’t it funny how when we hear the word thong, we think of those cheap rubber things made in the 60-70’s that you put on your feet, but when our kids hear the word they their vision is not of something that goes between the toes???
Ha ha! So true. Kids these days think Victoria Secret. Ah, how things have changed.
Hi,
Loved your examples, and Wow, that photo is just unreal, looks like you were having trouble with tying your top on. 😆
Yes, my fingers were slippery from tanning oil. I had a lovely time in Aruba. Mom, not so much. She didn’t appreciate me locking her in the bathroom.
Well you look nice ‘n all in that beach shot, but not nearly as lovely as you look in your gravatar picture with the laptop.
I did one of those spray on tans for the trip and bought a new feathery bathing suit top and short-shorts. My friend noticed my dark wig but I don’t think she liked it.
I am sick of my gravatar photo. But as you know, when you have kids, you have few photos of yourself.
Yes, that’s why I get professional photos taken every so often, otherwise I would never have any decent up to date photos of myself to sprinkle about the place! By the way, I noticed that you don’t have a link to your blog from your gravatar profile – it’s worth adding it in just to make it easier for people to find your site if they see your gravatar on other people’s blogs.
I don’t? I thought I did. Thanks for pointing it out. I will fix that right now.
If I was a pretty as you, I’d have professional photos taken too and hand them out on the street corner.
Haha, thank you, but I just have a very good photographer, that’s all! And you ARE very pretty.
Well thank you, but those glasses look dorky.
I had a discussion with my boss years ago about the Oxford comma and have used it ever since, although, like Crubin above I didn’t know it was called that until, … oh, recently. I am also a fan of lists so I shall have to keep this in mind, stuff it in there with all the other robincoyle tips.
I like the idea of my tips being “stuffed.” As long as you aren’t telling me to “stuff it” and never following my blog again.
No no no, it’s all good stuffing – better robincoyle stuffing in there than other sludge I let in. 🙂
Ha ha! Good. Please don’t co-mingle sludge with my tips. They will get all messy.
I am quite compartmentalized.
Phew.
I like the old Oxford comma myself, though I won’t admit to how long it took me to learn that was the name for it…
Great post, as always. 🙂
Thanks Carrie. I knew newspapers don’t use the Oxford comma to save print space but it bugs me.
Are you a list-maker?
Not in my writing, but in real life? Oh, you betcha!
How do you write without lists?
I meant I don’t write long lists in my fiction–I would limit it to a few items as your post suggests.
I thought maybe your style was Hemingway-esque.
I’m a fan of the Oxford comma as well. Given I tend to write as I speak with lots of inflection (read hand waving), they are effective. I’ll add the three item list to Robins tips.doc but my mind is racing back over blog posts. Oh well, what is done…
I talk with my hands too! Even when I am on the phone. Its not like the other person can see me, but I still wave away like a orchestra conductor.
I don’t understand the Oxford comma debate. It is clear to me they are needed for clarity.
There is a stray ‘and’ in the second example. Nonetheless, great post 🙂
Ooh – thanks for the catch. I am off to fix it now.
You have blonde hair.
I wore a wig.