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Robin Coyle

~ Ink of Me

Robin Coyle

Daily Archives: July 29, 2012

Slow Blog Day, Anyone? And I Need Help With An Editing Decision

29 Sunday Jul 2012

Posted by robincoyle in In Search . . .

≈ 97 Comments

Tags

editing, Slow Blog Traffic, Slow Blog Traffic During Olympics, writers, writing

Go Team USA!
Image Courtesy of Freedigitalphotos.net

I believe the Olympics are usurping my blog readers. What a slow day for traffic! You mean, watching world-class athletes compete is more entertaining than reading my blog? I never. Oh wait, that is what I am doing too.

As such, this is a good day to do my first poll. Hope it works!

Think of the poll as awarding Gold, Silver, and Bronze medals in Robin’s little writing world.

I have been blessed with a dozen beta readers. Two of which made their comments and suggested edits on hard copy. It took me a full day to read through, and accept or reject one reader’s notes. One of her edits stumped me, and I need your help deciding if her suggestion is better than what I wrote.

Below are the two versions. No, I’m not “telling” which one is mine lest it sway your vote.

A short backstory to the selections is: My main character traveled to Austria on business. While there, she searched for a recipe for beef stroganoff similar to her mom’s. She persuaded a shopkeeper to share her recipe with her.

Passage One: Back on United States soil, my internal clock could only be read in German and it was a full week before it reset. Back on local time, I hauled myself to the market to buy the Austrian shopkeeper’s recipe ingredients.

Passage Two: After a week of struggling to get my internal clock back on local time, I hauled myself to the market to buy the Austrian shopkeeper’s recipe ingredients.

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