This letter from Amanda will break your heart.
Letter Seven Dated July 31, 2012
(Notes in parentheses are mine.)
Hey Mamacita,
I’m dropping you a quick note to ask a huge favor. Remember I mentioned my friend Rebecca? She is the only one in my Platoon who hasn’t received a letter from home. I don’t know what her family’s deal is. Seriously, mail is the best part of the day. I honestly treasure every letter and read them several times. I am hoping you would send Rebecca a short letter and a small care-package . . . a couple of handy things like baby-wipes, deodorant . . . you know the deal. It would be so nice. The letter could just say something like you are glad I made a friend and I would be complaining so much more if it weren’t for her.
We seriously need mail here. She is so strong, just like me, but after of month of no word from home, and our Drill Sergeant saying it is because no one loves her, she cried today. Really shitty. I know it is a lot to ask but I don’t know how else to help her. If you don’t have time, don’t worry about it.
I love you and miss you.
XOXO
(After I dried my tears, I made a mad dash for the drugstore and put together a care-package for Rebecca. I included a letter thanking her for her service and friendship with Amanda.)
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Robin Coyle 
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Sometimes the family doesn’t support what the child does.
Back in May 1992 a friend/former roommate/former employee called me from Monterey, California. He was crying because he was graduating from the Army’s Defense Language Institute. Everyone in his family said that they wouldn’t go to see him graduate. He was pretty much estranged from them before he joined the Army because he dropped out of high school. Mom & dad kicked him out of the house, and that’s when he found me, coming to apply for a job.
I took a long road trip from College Station, Texas, to Monterey to see him graduate, and that’s when I discovered San Diego. So I kind of owe my own life to Eric’s DLI graduation.
I wish Amanda took a safer path in life, but I would never think to not support her decision. You are a good friend for going to his graduation. I bet it meant the world to him.
We fell out of touch in 1993 when I moved to San Diego. I know where he is but I can’t find a good phone number or address for him, and he has such a common name.
Darn. Facebook no help?
Nope. Name’s too common.
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I’m torn between saying “big meany” and “well she is in the army”. It is harsh but I expect it is part of seeing how people react to stress, and how they deal with it.
I would love to see you nose-to-nose with the Drill Sergeant when you call him “big meany!”
It is something my wife always says. I’ll send her to say it.
Ooooooh . . . good idea!
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Amanda should be running that army. Her troops would follow a good soul like that right up to the gates of hell.
She has always been a leader . . . and her leadership style engenders trust, not intimidation, like her Drill Sergeant’s style.
What’s with the Drill Sergeant and the nasty comments? I can see doing it when you’re in training, but for this? That’s not right. Poor Rebecca. I want to hug her and send her a giant teddy bear. Amanda’s a good, good soul. You raised yourself one helluva daughter, Robin.
Why was he so mean spirited? It was uncalled for and reprehensible. But how cool is it that his action spurred such and outpouring of love for Rebecca!? Thanks Madame . . . Amanda is a good soul.
You raised a wonderful daughter. ‘Nuff said.
Thank you. She is a good girl.
I would be glad to write to her. Can you share an address?
I’m figuring out the best way to get notes to her. Stay tuned . . .
What a wonderful combination of hard and soft Amanda is. I love her compassion for her fellow soldier, and I love that your relationship is such that she can just ask you to do this for her friend without either of you questioning it. How about a paragraph in a letter to Amanda that mentions Rebecca (‘I’ve been sharing some of your letters on my blog and Rebecca’s story really touched my regular readers. They want her to know …..’), so that she doesn’t feel too much like a puppy that everyone wants to take home?
That is a great way to put it . . . Amanda is a combination of hard and soft. I think Amanda knew what my reaction would be to Rebecca’s situation. She knows I am a softy!
I think I have a plan formulated along the lines of what you mentioned. Stay tuned. I’ll be posting it today (probably).
OMG I cried. (More crying today and I will need a drip to replenishing me.) I want to shake that mean army man. I want to stare him down and do bad things to him. I want to….well you can imagine.
I want to write to Rebecca too.
Having experienced this kind of thing as a kid, being picked on for having no parents etc, I can tell you that being overwhelmed with love doesn’t feel like being singled out, it feels like food. Send them all Robin, it can only do her good.
I’d love to set you loose on that Drill Sergeant. It would be fun to watch! I can see you spitting nailed and venom.
You are right . . . she should feel all the love and support from you all. I think I have a plan on how to get notes to her. Stay tuned.
Wonderful !!
Does the Army deserve her or Rebecca?
Good question.
Looks like she’s doing too well, she’s helping others. I was too busy lately, so I didn’t have time to check your blog Robin. All the best with your daughter, hope to hear more good news 🙂
I haven’t been around much either as we are on vacation and it is hard to keep up.
I have a couple more letters to share . . .
I’m on vacation too, very chaotic, my nephews and nieces are killing me 🙂
Are they young?
3-15… all of them want to spend time with cool uncle Ahmed :). The others ran like hell after they used me as distraction.
I can see them climbing all over you!
Thank you for sharing about your daughter! Her letters and your comments are touching and show how challenging life becomes when family is separated by distance. I cannot believe anyone said that to Amanda. I hope she continues to recieve the wonderful support she receives from Rebecca. I know you are happy and proud to have such a daughter!
I think you got the girls’ names switched around, but I know what you meant.
We are proud of her, but I am looking forward to the day when we can talk on a regular basis and she is out of the intense training. I love her letters but miss her voice!
I am sorry about that. I did have them switched around. So sorry.
Oh gosh . . .don’t apologize! Easy to do.
when you make a decision I would like both addresses – your daughter’s too — but I understand if you want to keep this private — what a wonderful girl you brought up
Thank you so much! I think she is pretty wonderful too.
Stay tuned . . . I think I have a plan on how to get notes to the girls without making Rebecca feel like a charity case.
I will be patient and wait for your plan
Gosh what a journey you and your daughter have taken us on, Robin – every emotion has been touched, every heart-string pulled. I;ve refrained from making any comment, as it all sounds so different from my distant days in the army, but back then, I never heard of the cruelty that you so rightly name.
Thank goodness you can balance it out with the love that you and Amanda are creating. And I’m sure Rebecca must feel that love from every-one..
What did you do in the Army? I’m glad you didn’t experience cruel behavior. I understand being tough on the kids. I don’t understand cruel.
Amanda is someone who always jumped to the aid of others. I can imagine that as soon as she saw Rebecca crying, she wanted to take action to “fix” the situation. That is my Amanda!
Amanda sounds the sort of person the army is lucky to have, and I’m so glad that Rebecca has her too.
What a quality person she is, making a difference to her world. You must be so proud of her..
Darn tootin’ we are proud!
My heart, it crumbles. For both Rebecca, and you and your daughter’s kind hearts. Not to forget the readers of your blog. Wow!
I, too, would love to send a note.
I hope she can feel all this positive energy.
The response to Rebecca’s letter is powerful and warms my heart. I certainly feel the positive energy. Let me think about how to get notes to Rebecca without making her feel bad. It is sweet that you want to send her one.
What a lovely girl your daughter is … so selfless and considerate of others … what a friend to have … you are rightly proud of her Robin ~ and you are so right about the post being heartbreaking.
She is a sweet and thoughtful girl. That is somehow wrapped up with her desire to serve her country. She wants to give back and look out for others, and often does it before thinking of herself. She has always been that way.
Goodness, I so hope all goes well for her … if anyone deserves a good life … seems she’s got one and she’s sharing it with others, that’s fab.
I too would send her a card! They are doing amazing stuff. That would shut that drill sergeant right up if she got a bunch of cards from total strangers! Hmff!!! Is that possible?
I am thinking about a way to get notes to Rebecca without making her feel bad. What if I have you send them to me, and then I put them all together with a note that says something like, “I have been putting Amanda’s letters home on my blog. I mentioned that you are her friend and people wanted to write to you both . . . ” Or is that lame?
I think that is a wonderful idea! The letters can just be short and sweet. How many girls are in the platoon? I could personalize some bookmarks and send them to the girls along with a card or short note. I’m game. We need to cheer this young lady up and let her know there are people who care. Just name it, I’m in.
Sergeants of the paternalistic military system would tell someone something as frankly awful and mean as to say no one loves her. What is wrong with these people, anyway. What would be wrong with a different approach — kindness and understanding are two that come to mind. Please give my best to Amanda, and ask her to give Rebecca a hug for me. XOXOXOXO
I will certainly ask Amanda to give Rebecca a hug for you. Gosh, do they allow hugs at Basic Training? I don’t understand the cruelty of the Sergeant’s comment. Nothing like kicking a girl when she’s down.
What a good kid (she learned it form observing someone!)
Even if the drill sargeant was trying to lighten the mood with a joke – it hit hard.
It’s important to remember this time of year, parents, to cheer for all the team members..some kid’s parents never show up.
Are you going to organize care packages/cards group? People could email “cards” – send to your address and forward them on to your daughter and she could hand them out?(privacy might not allow all their info out on the web?
(Putting on thinking cap)
Ask Amanda if she heard us all cheering and applauding her kindness.
If he was trying to be funny, the joke fell flat and I hope he is ashamed of himself.
The response to Rebecca’s letter is amazing. So many people want to do something. I trying to figure out how to get all your well wishes to her without making her feel bad. As I said to Allthingboysblog above, what if I have you send notes/cards to me, and then I put them all together with a note that says something like, “I have been putting Amanda’s letters home on my blog. I mentioned that you are her friend and people wanted to write to you both . . . ” Or is that lame?
Oh, and I heard the cheering and applause so I’m sure she did too. She probably said to herself, “what was that racket?”
That sounds like a great idea!
That’s really beautiful. I actually really like what kford said – you think that’s something that we would be able to do!?!? I would really like to do that too – if it’s not too weird?!?!
Stay tuned . . . I trying to figure out how to get all the kind wishes to her without making her feel bad. Any ideas?
I don’t understand why the Drill Sargent has to be so harsh. At times like this, they should be lifting spirits, not bringing them down. I just don’t get the logic.
Lucky for Rebecca to have a friend like Amanda, and lucky for Amanda to have a mom like you. I don’t know if I’d be getting much mail from home either in that situation.
I would also like to send note, if you can share the address.
I understand being tough, demanding perfection, and taking no BS. I don’t understand cruel.
Stay tuned . . . I figuring out a way to get notes to Rebecca without making her feel bad. Any ideas? Send them to me and I’ll bundle them with other random notes to the soldiers? Notes written without names that Amanda passes out to fellow soldiers?
That’s a good idea.
Drill sergeants can be pretty cruel, and basic training trial by fire for some.
I understand tough. I don’t understand cruel.
Sounded more than just tough. Hard for me to see the logic in that kind of behavior.
I feel so sad for Rebecca, but Amanda’s selflessness let’s me know there are so many other amazing people in the world even if the people that are present in Rebecca’s world are not!
It is sad. Who knows why her parents and friends haven’t written. Maybe she said, “Don’t write me while I am at camp.” Who knows.
Amanda has always been that way. She looks out for others before she looks out for herself. That character trait is somehow wrapped up in why she wants to be in the Army . . . selfless service.
Selfless service indeed..
And I would also send a card to brighten her day. And maybe one for Amanda too?
Stay tuned. I’m thinking about how we can pull that off without making Rebecca feel bad. Any ideas?
I’m busy catching up on post reading, and thought I’d cleverly catch up on the latest in the series first… that will teach me. How sad a story, and how beautiful your daughter is; also you for running off so quickly to organise a care package, and all your commenters with kind hearts, especially those who’d like to give the Drill Sargeant a slap 🙂
The comments made me cry a time or two. Or twenty. Such love and support for someone you all don’t know, except through her letters, is lovely. It warms and comforts my heart.
I’d like to give that Drill Sergeant a slap and tell on him to his mother. That’ll teach him!
Yep, you’re right… I’m wiping tears. It hits close too home, because I’d have no care packages either. Except, I couldn’t do what she’s doing. Rebecca is doing something heroic, and deserves recognition. Thank you and Amanda for being so compassionate toward her. I’ll join the others if you decide to share the address.
Ah, how sad. I’ll send you a care-package . . .
I’m thinking about what to do about the address and notes to Rebecca. I don’t want her to feel like a charity case, even though people simply want to show her support for what she is doing. Any ideas on how to do that?
I’m not sure…hmm…thinking about it…I’ve sent care packages to soldiers overseas before that I didn’t even know. I did it because I was grateful, and we are all grateful to Rebecca too. However, I understand your concern about her. Maybe…we can address a card to the entire platoon and mention both Amanda and Rebecca? It’s up to you. I support whatever you decide.
That is the sweetest and kindest thing I’ve ever heard….
That is our Amanda. Through and through.
Okay, now I really want to adopt your daughter. How thoughtful is she? Again, it gets back to the parents, so good on you for raising such an amazing daughter! And for sending her friend a care package.
I wonder what Rebecca thought when she opened the box and saw a Nerf Ball among the more practical things, like Q-tips and deodorant. She might think I am crazy!
She’ll probably release a lot of stress squeezing that thing. 🙂
Or throwing it at the Drill Sergeant. Delete that. Not a good idea.
Wow, Robin. That’s horrible… and wonderful that you and your daughter are so thoughtful. I pray that makes up for the negatives in Rebecca’s world. Thank you for your support of not only Amanda but the others who need it.
I can so see Amanda thinking, “I need to do something to fix this situation and Rebecca’s sadness . . .” and not being able to do anything herself given the situation. Next best thing, “I’ll write my mom! She’ll help me fix it!”
The only person more important than the one you share a foxhole with, is the one who supports you from back home. Please send her our thoughts and support, love and respect. Even the strong need to know that someone cares that they are standing a post.
So true Dennie, So true. I will send your well wishes their way.
Are we also allowed to send hate-mail to the Drill Sergeant?
Fine by me! Fire away with the hate-mail.
If it’s possible to share the address, then the kids and I would love to send her a letter, too.
I’d love for those who want to send mail to do so. I’m thinking about how to do that without making Rebecca feel weird. Any ideas? Maybe generic “support” letters to the Platoon Amanda can pass out? Letters addressed to Amanda AND Rebecca?
Oh my, yes, I’d like to send a note as well. Just mailed one to Amanda today.
Amanda will be tickled to get your note Pammy. Stay tuned. I am thinking about how to get everyone’s words of support to Rebecca without her feeling weird about it. I do know that once they are out of training, I’m deleting this post . . . just in case she thinks, “Hey, I should check out Amanda’s mom’s blog . . . “
Oh, Robin, that is heartbreaking. Your daughter doesn’t have a selfish bone in her body, and I’m touched by her deep concern for her friend. Is there some way we could send letters to Rebecca? Even a card just to thank her for serving?
I am figuring out at way to get everyone’s support and love to Rebecca without making her feel bad, or singled out. Any ideas?
Robin, I think you’re right. We don’t need to embarrass her further by singling her out for a lot of “sympathy” mail. I like your idea of sending some generic mail to be passed out – but how about asking Amanda for the names of her closest friends – maybe three or four first names – that way we can still write personal notes, but not just to Rebecca. If there isn’t a general address to send to, we could send to you, and I would be willing to help pay postage to get a package of cards and letters sent every so often.
I would love to send her a letter…a card…anything to lift her spirits. Any chance on sharing that address???
Jenny . . . help me out here. How can we get all these words of love and support to Rebecca without making her feel even worse and like the poster child for lost souls? Letters addressed to Amanda AND Rebecca? Generic letters Amanda passes out to her fellow soldiers? Send them to me and I bundle them with a note to Rebecca saying “I mentioned your name to my friends and they wanted to write you?”
Help!
I’d like to have a list of all the girls in the platoon and write a short note to each of them. Do we know when Becca’s b’day is or can you find out? If it’s not soon, we could all send her b’day cards anyway and on the outside of the envelope write – Happy Un-birthday to you! My kids and I did that for a couple of service guys and we got letters back telling us how much they appreciated us thinking of them in such a silly way. Each week we could send a slew of un-birthday cards to each of the girls until all of them have been sent a greeting. We’d start with Becca, of course. Just an idea.