Tags
Alzheimer's disease, Cardiovascular Disorders, FailureHeart, Heart disease, parenting our parents, writers, writing
I won’t be around the blogosphere much for a while. Don’t know how long.
My dad called yesterday . . . at 7 am.
As soon as his name popped up on my phone, I knew something was wrong.
Dad never calls that early.
“Robin, I’m in the Emergency Room. I fell.”
And I got in my car.
Dad fell on Thursday while carrying groceries up the stairs to their house. He landed hard on his right side and the two jugs of milk he was toting exploded. Dad shook it off, bandaged his scraped arms, and took two ibuprofen. At 2 am, the pain in his ribcage was unbearable, and he called 911. With early-stage Alzheimer’s Mom in tow, Dad went to the Emergency Room in an ambulance.
By the time I arrived at the hospital, Mom had been sitting in a stiff plastic chair by Dad’s side for 10 hours. How awful. When we finally got home tonight (Mom did a full 16 hours by his side in the hospital), she said, “I feel like I’ve been dragged through a knothole backwards.” Talk about showing, not telling.
After a battery of tests, the doctors discovered that while Dad didn’t break anything, he has congestive heart failure and his lungs are filled with fluid. He was admitted into the hospital and the doctors are addressing his heart failure, as well as the excruciating pain in his rib cage.
How lucky I am that I can be here to help.
Dad needs me.
Mom needs me.
And I need to be here.
P.S. For those of you who read my post about Mom’s early Alzheimer’s, I had a wonderful glimpse of my old mom tonight.
Mom and Dad live in a lovely senior community . . . tree–lined streets, manicured flower beds, golf course, etc. She said, “Living here, you can take the dog out for a walk at night and not worry about someone coming after you. Or, you can feel bad that someone ISN’T coming after you!”
Mom! You randy thing you!
Look how cute they are. Their wedding photo.
Robin Coyle 
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Sorry to hear about your dad.
I’m a firm believer that the elderly should not live in homes with stairs or sunken rooms. It’s just asking for broken bones.
Awesome photo Robin!
Aren’t they sweet? Now I know where I get my nose.
Such a delicate time. Hope you dad pulls through fine and your mom doesn’t get too upset he’s not home.
Thinking of you all, Robin.
Thank you Tess. Dad is still in the hospital but seems to be making slow, very slow progress.
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Hope things are going well. It’s nice they are in a senior community – a little less worry, a bit of safe independence, and pretty things to look at. I love your mom’s comments.
I know those calls. I had to quit my most favorite job because it involved too much travel and I started getting worrisome phone calls. Better to stay close if possible – my parents would always try to manage so not to worry me (and my older brother was totally blind to the fact they were getting older – and they were determined not to be a nuisance…despite the fact my mom’s thought processes were deteriorating)
Please remember to take care of yourself. A little Wine-o-clock is recommended!
Gotta love Wine-O-Clock! It’s 5:00 somewhere, right?
Are your folks still with us? Don’t get me started on brothers. I have two flakey brothers, but two wonderful sisters.
I hope your dad is better now..and that your mom is good.
Take some time out to care for them..but don’t forget to take care of yourself too.
You are a wonderful daughter =)
Keeping you in my prayers x
Nope, Dad is still in the hospital but out of ICU. I appreciate your prayers sweetie.
It’s no problem..I hope he starts recovering soon..Your family are in my prayers 🙂
I’m adding you and your parents to my prayers, Robin. How fortunate that your mom and dad have you–you with your strength and optimism. Best wishes to all! ~ Lily
Thank you for your prayers. While I am sad about Dad being so sick and Mom’s diminished mental capacity, I feel equally blessed to have had them around all these years . . . and in relatively good health!
Oh Robin, this is a road I have travelled and it’s a bumpy one. Thinking of you.
Thank you Lynne. It is a road filled with potholes and dangerous curves.
Hi Robin, been awhile since I’ve visited, I am hoping your dad is doing better and on the mend, wishing you and your father well this day, Penny
Dad is still in the hospital but out of ICU . . . he spent 7 days there. Thanks for stopping by and for your well-wishes.
Most sincerely meant. It was only a handful of years ago that I was there myself, I understand and relate to your own feelings, continuing to wish you and your family all the very best!
As Bette Davis said, “Old age is no place for sissies.”
Lord she was quite a woman wasn’t she?
“Fasten your seatbelts, it’s going to be a bumpy night! “That is how I feel about the road I am on with Mom and Dad.
Yes! truly. Just keep being grateful for the love and support of your (from the view from my eyes) of your loving family. And then be there, make those tough calls, hard decisions and cherish every moment you can Robyn!
Sorry to hear about your Dad. Hope he gets better soon!
Boy, me too. This is hard.
I hope your Dad gets better soon. And as others have said, don’t forget to take care of yourself, too.
After spending a week with my Dad in the hospital, my sister came down to relieve me. He is still in the hospital with no idea when he will get out.
Oh Robin, really sorry to hear that!
Best of luck to you and your family, we’re all thinking of you and we’ll look forward to your return to the blogosphere when your ready! 🙂
It will be lovely to be back to posting happy blogs instead of sad ones!
“The wheel in the sky keeps on turnin’. I don’t know where I’ll be tomorrow.” – Journey
My dad is 88 and lives in the meddle of the woods by himself. I try to enjoy every moment I have with him because I never know when the phone will ring and it will be bad news.
Hang in there and love the little times we share with loved ones.
When I saw Dad’s number pop up on the phone, my heart sank to my feet. I knew something was wrong. Here’s to years of good health to your dad.
I didn’t want to hit the Like button for this post because I’m very sad to hear this news. But I know that your mom and dad will be so pleased that you’re there to look up for them both. They look and sound like such a lovely, devoted couple. I am sending out the most positive vibes I have and hoping that things will be okay. Take care, Robin. x
Thanks Ms. Katykins. I feel your positive vibes.
My first visit to your blog, and I see this post. I’m so sorry to hear about your dad. I hope he recovers quickly.
Sorry you had to land on this! I promise I don’t post only about family issues. I can’t wait to be back to my regular routine. Hope you come back!
Best wishes to your dad for a speedy recovery, Robin. Take care.
Thank you. He is still in the hospital with no idea of when he will be strong enough to be released. I hope it is soon.
Sorry to hear this. Thoughts with yourself and family. Wish you all the best.
You are very kind. Thank you.
Make sure you take care of yourself as well, Robin. Sometimes we forget these things when we’re caring for others.
I really hope your dad is okay and I’m sending you a big virtual *hug* and thinking of you. What a wonderful mother and daughter you are – your family is so lucky to have someone like you 🙂
Thank you for the virtual hug. I can feel it! Me, wonderful? Hmmmm….. It is always hard to not think one isn’t doing enough for others . . .
You’ve been away for (what seems like) an age. I really hope you are okay 🙂
It does feel like ages. If you check out my post from last night, you will get an update on what is going on. I’m okay, exhausted with worry, but okay.
I like your mom and dad’s work. Look after them, we’ll be here when things are ok.
Thanks Oma. Glad to know I have friends out there who won’t abandon me! You recovered from your DNC?
Your blog post is heartfelt and tugged at my heart. Best of luck to your dad, your mom, and to you. Thank you for sharing this news in such a beautifully written and thought FULL way. Your mom’s expression (“I feel like I’ve been dragged through a knothole backwards”) is a great simile! – and one I might use someday after a particularly trying experience.
My mom has a pocket full of sayings from her Irish mom. I never heard the “knothole” saying before. I’ve used it several times already.
My heart is with you, Robin. I’ll put your dad and family in my prayers. Now I know where you get your catchy wit from. Warm & healing wishes to you and your family.
I never thought I got my sense of humor from my mom until you said this. She is funny and loves a good joke.
All the best for both you parents… I hope he’ll get well soon.
Boy, me too.
(((((hugs)))))love, and best wishes honey xx
You give the best hugs.
Dearest Robin, I’m not sure that ‘liking’ this post is at all appropriate ~ what bad news ~ hope things pan out well and that you’re all home soon ~ love ~ Polly x
Thanks Polly. I know what you mean about hitting “like” on sad or troubling posts. But I think we bloggers know it is code for “I’m supporting you.”
All the best for all three of you, and I hope he recovers quickly. To echo many other people above, don’t forget to look after yourself as well.
I’m trying to take care of myself, but it is hard. The days are so full. It is amazing how busy one is while sitting in a hospital room!
My mother also has CHF (on top of having half a lung removed 16 years ago from lung cancer). The first few months after diagnosis can be hard as the doctors try to get the right balance of medications. My mom had 4 hospital trips in 3 months. But since then, she’s stabilized and pretty much back to herself.
As Kate said below, it can be managed. And your dad will likely be on his feet again and out and about within a few months. But he will need to watch himself for symptoms that the fluids are building again. And if he wasn’t watching his diet before this, he’ll need to do that now.
Still carrying groceries at 89. Priceless. 🙂
If you take a peek at last night’s post, it turns out the early diagnosis of CHF was incorrect. He developed pneumonia and both lungs collapsed. He was in ICU for 7 days and is likely to be in the hospital a good deal longer.
Not only was he still carrying groceries at 89, last month they went to Portland and then Minnesota for their high school reunion. There are only 20 or so of their classmates still living. Mom and Dad were the only ones NOT on a cane, walker, or wheelchair. He also golfs twice a week. He said, “This hospital stay is hurting my golf game.”
My thoughts are with you, Robin. Your parents are very lucky that you are nearby and you’re able to help. I hope everything turns out okay. My mom has CHF, and while it’s not easy, it is manageable. Take “heart” in that. 🙂
Ah ha. So that is why you need to care for your mom and balance two little ones on your knees.
All our love goes with you Robin, I’m so thankful your parents have you! Blessings sister!
And blessings to you my friend.
I’m sorry to hear this, Robin. You and your family will be in our thoughts and prayers. The picture of your parents is lovely – I see you and Amanda in both.
Until you said that, I didn’t realize how much Amanda looks like my mom. Thanks for pointing that out!
Sorry to hear of your ordeal (I just commented on your previous post before reading this). I wish you all the best and that your dad makes a good recovery.
take care.
Thank you Elliot. Dad is making slow, very slow progress. But some progress is better than none!
Oh, Robin — I am sorry you all are going through this. I have CHF, and I know how scary it can be at first. I think that comes from having the word Failure in the name. But it is controllable with medication, and your dad will hopefully respond well to that therapy. I’m happy for you that your Mom still has little moments of being her old self. Those may be more frequent and obvious to you while you are all together. You all have my best wishes and healing thoughts. Best of luck.
Mom peeked out from behind Alzheimer’s a few times. I embraced each time she did.
“Dragged through a knothole backwards”… that is SO good.
You take care of things (that means YOU too). We’ll be out here hanging around.
I am sooooooooooo using that expression somewhere in my novel. Funny, she uses lots of expressions, but I never heard her say that one before.
So sorry to hear about your parents’ ordeal. Sending my thoughts your way. It’s a difficult transition to go from being the child to the caretaker, but how fortunate for your parents they have you. Take care.
I am grateful I live only three hours away from them and that my sisters are active in wanting to be there for them too.
Robin,
Much love to you and your family. You will find solace in each other. We’ll see you soon.
Eric
Thank you Eric. This is a rough road. It is so nice to have such support for our wonderful blogging community.
You do what you need to do. Our thoughts are with you and yours and we’ll still be around when you get back. Take care.
That is nice to hear. After tending my blog and novel, I am now tending my parents. I’m happy to know you won’t all abandon me!
Robin, your picture of your parents is beautiful and I’m sending you good thoughts and prayers. I hope that you all get just what you need to get through this and take care of yourself.
Isn’t that a great picture? Such a handsome couple.
You will be missed, Robin! =[ Take care of yourself, and I hope your dad gets better soon. (also that picture is really nice!)
Thank you Zen. I love that photo of my parents. They look so content and at peace.
Robin,
A.) Your parents are gorgeous!
B.) I’m so sorry to hear about all of the stuff you’re dealing with.
C.) I hope your dad starts doing better very soon.
Good luck with everything.
Anne,
A) They are gorgeous. Don’t they look content?
B) Thanks. Dealing with Dad’s health and Mom’s Alzheimer’s is hard.
C) Dad is making slow, very slow progress. But some progress is better than none.
D) I hope you are well. Sorry I haven’t been around lately.
Robin
Sending hugs. Take care of yourself while you’re taking care of your parents.
I love getting virtual hugs. I am sending one right back atcha!
Robin, They are beautiful. They look happy don’t they.
I am very sorry to hear about your dad. Take very good care of yourself while you are taking care of them and I shall look out for updates on how you are all doing. 🙂
They do look happy. There faces are serene and at peace. What a happy couple they make! Even after 66 years!
I am with you Robin — we are all here for you (hugs)
what a lovely photo of your parents
I love that photo of Mom and Dad. Their faces are serene and peaceful.
How fortunate they are to have you to care for them. Take care of yourself, too.
I’m trying to take care of myself but finding time is tricky. One is very busy while sitting in a hospital room.
i know about that. Here’s a virtual neck rub and cup of hot tea/cocoa/whatever. . .
How about a glass of wine to go with the neck rub? Care to join me?
What a lovely photo.
So sorry your Dad fell. It happens as they get older.
Glad your parents have a loving daughter to care for them.
Thanks Tilly. It is a lovely photo. Mom and Dad got married in a chapel at the Navy base where he was stationed. She wore that suit. She told me recently she regrets not wearing a proper white wedding dress. I like the suit. It “suits” her.
Best of luck, see ya when you’re ready.
Thanks John. I hope to be back soon. For the moment I am catching up on all the lovely comments.
will keep you all in my prayers….
Thanks. We could use the prayers, a miracle, and a glass of wine.
We have all seen what a great mom you are and now we can see what a great daughter you are too… God bless!
Great mom and great daughter? I never feel like I am doing enough. Where the heck is my magic wand?
My thoughts are with you Robin – remember your wings 😉
I decided I want a magic wand to go along with my wings.
Ok, leave it with me…
I’ll order a dozen.
It is indeed fortunate that you can be there for your parents. Don’t forget to look after yourself also. Wishing all of you the best of outcomes 🙂
What are you doing up so late?!?
It’s 5.24pm Saturday in Sydney… I’ve missed nanna nap time, so I’ll finish my post-shopping cup of tea, then it will be wine o’clock I think 🙂 I hope everything works out well with your Mom & Dad 🙂 My Dad is almost 70, and at that age the tables turn and it’s our turn to worry about them…
Oh gosh, I forget where everyone is. I thought you are in Maine. “Wine-o-clock.” LOVE IT! Why haven’t I been using that!?
Dad turned 70, and then I blinked, and now he is 89. Whoa! How did that happen? Brace yourself.