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Robin Coyle

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Robin Coyle

Daily Archives: September 18, 2012

Parenting our Parents ~ Part 2 ~ So this is what feels like to die.

18 Tuesday Sep 2012

Posted by robincoyle in In Search . . .

≈ 157 Comments

Tags

Alzheimer's disease, parenting our parents, writers, writing

Oh man. What a week and a half.

For those of you following along, you know what I mean. For those of you who don’t know, click here.

First of all, my sincere and tear-stained thanks to all of you who commented on my blog post about my 89-year-old dad going into the hospital. I will answer all of your comments soon.

I am sorry I haven’t been around to visit you. My time lately has been spent sitting bedside in ICU with my Dad. Writing and reading blogs was suddenly not important. Dad’s health was the concern. The past week was like a riding a roller coaster going 100 miles an hour at a standstill.

How cute!Mom and Dad have been married for 66 years and have know each other since sophomore year of high school. Look how cute and in love they look after all these years. This photo was from one year ago.

Dad’s early diagnosis of congestive heart failure was incorrect. He developed pneumonia, both lungs collapsed, and he was ensconced in ICU for 7 days. They inserted chest tubes to drain the blood/fluid from his lungs. He couldn’t feed himself, had a high fever, and he was an all around mess. He is likely to be in the hospital for another week or so.

On one of his bad days, Dad thought to himself,

“So this is what it feels like to die.”

His body is failing, but his mind is sound.

My mom, on the other hand, is of sound body, but her mind is shot.

She has Alzheimer’s Disease. This experience is too much for her to handle. She is lucid at times, bewildered most of the time, and rather nasty to be around all of the time. Her snarky comments to the nurses, doctors, Dad, and me make our blood pressure rise to dangerous levels.

She can’t help it.

My sister is the admissions director of a skilled nursing home in Portland, Oregon. We are hoping Dad can move there after he is discharged from the hospital. Mom can live with my sister or move to the assisted living portion of the nursing home. If not, I will be doing (willingly) every third week in San Jose with my folks. Difficult, but not impossible. As such, I will be in and out with checking on you.

Again, I ask, any words of wisdom for me? I’m fried. I need your help.

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