Tags
editing tips, Self-editing, Storytelling, Strong vs Weak Words, Strong Words, The Order of the Story, Weak Words, writers, writing, writing tips
As you might recall, I attended the Writer’s Digest Conference in Los Angeles in September. I learned a thing or two and felt all grown-up and writerly sitting among real writers.
In one of the sessions, author Steven James spoke about the “Six Secrets to Novel Writing No One Ever Told You.” One of the secrets was the proper handling of cause and effect in your storytelling. Huh. Never thought about that.
Mr. James said, “Everything that happens in a story is caused by the thing that precedes it.” Huh, again.
His premise is you should tell your story in the order things happen. Why make your reader circle back, retrace their steps, and need breadcrumbs find their way back to the trail of the storyline.
Sure, there are places for a flashbacks and circular storytelling if you are so inclined. But that is a topic for someone smarter than moi to tackle.
It is better to propel the story forward, rather than explain what just happened. The difference is subtle, but there is a difference.
For example . . .
Instead of: Main character did yadda, yadda, yadda because something, something happened.
Try: Something, something happened so your character did yadda, yadda, yadda.
In many cases, it is simply a matter of switching the order of your sentence, or sentences, by using “so” or “and” rather than “because” and “when.”
Let’s see if I can make more sense here with some examples.
Charles Dickens squealed with delight when he discovered Robin’s blog.
Chuck squeals?
Charles Dickens discovered Robin’s blog and snorted in disgust.
~~~~~
William Shakespeare followed Robin’s blog because her words are riveting.
Mr. Shakespeare is Robin’s biggest fan.
Robin writes nonsense so Billy-boy Shakespeare unfollowed her blog.
~~~~~
“You are one smart cookie,” Robin said to John Steinbeck when he praised Robin’s blog.
He must have been hitting the bottle.
When John Steinbeck wrote a scathing review of Robin’s blog, she said, “How could you be so cruel, John-John?”
~~~~~
How about a longer example in a non-Pulitzer-worthy paragraph form . . .
Robin put a shelf up for all the new awards she was sure would come her way because she wrote what she thought was brilliant blog post. She screamed in horror when there was a mass exodus of followers because of the drivel she wrote. Moments before, she was happy as a clam at high tide. Embarrassed, she took down her blog and faded into blogging oblivion. Robin’s post offended many bloggers.
In the above example, here is the order of what happened.
Put up a shelf
Wrote a blog post
Screamed
Mass exodus
Was happy
Quit blogging
Offended bloggers
Robin wrote what she thought was a brilliant blog post. She was happy as a clam at high tide and put up a shelf for all the new awards she was sure would come her way. But her drivel offended many bloggers and there was a mass exodus of followers from her blog. When she saw people leaving in droves, Robin screamed in horror. Embarrassed, Robin decided to give up the ghost.
In that example, the order is linear.
Wrote a blog post
Was happy
Put up a shelf
Offended bloggers
Mass exodus
Screamed
Quit blogging
See the difference?
For the record, I have 148 “because-s” in my novel. I’m off to see what I can do about that.
Don’t forget I put all of the Strong vs Weak Word posts under a link on the left sidebar in case you need a cure for insomnia.
Robin Coyle 
I so agree. I dislike flashbacks. I read a book a few months ago where every other chapter was a flashback. I was so confused by the time I finished the book.
My last bok group book had multiple flashbacks within each chapter. My head was spinning by the end of the book. And, it was a waste of perfectly good reading time.
Oh great, something else to search for – but you illustrated it very well. And super super that all your classics are in one spot now. Thank you for that. You made us happy, Robin 🙂
Made you happy? More like made you want to wring my neck!
This is excellent advice!
But I had no idea that John Steinbeck was so cruel.
Mr.Steinbeck gets nasty when he drinks.
This is a great lesson. I have to look and see how often I use the “because” cause-and-effect thing. Probably a lot. But I’m having difficulty imagining Charles Dickens squealing.
Chuck gets positively giddy over my blog.
Let me know what you find if/when you go searching for “because.” Maybe it is my problem alone.
I’m going back now and checking for every ‘because’ in my novels! This will be an interesting exercise 😉
Will you let me know how it goes? I’m curious. Maybe “because is just my problem.
Will do 😉
This and your earlier post on dialogue (he said) make me wonder if one of the biggest problems in writing is people trying to make it harder than it is. I looked for ways to cut down using “said” when that is what is happening. I’ve reordered things to give variety in the way a story is presented. Maybe all people want in their reading is an easy to follow line.
You do an easy to follow storyline and tell an interesting story. That is what people want!
Excellent rule, and excellent examples. I need this one stamped on my forehead!
You don’t look good with ink on your forehead, Judith. Try writing it on your palm. Much less conspicuous.
Good idea — I might avoid some odd looks this way! 😎
Definitely.
You are right on, as usual. I realized after I posted my latest flash piece that it goes into a flashback. That’s a Bozo no no. I promise I’ll clean it up and make you proud during the revision process.
I think flashbacks have their place in writing. I liked your piece of flash fiction.
Thank you for sharing this! Now I’m rethinking how some of my stories have been woven together.
I kept some of my “because-s,” but cleaning up the others made the writing flow better. Let me know what you find in your stories.
Great post! Makes one think before writing. And if John John doesn’t like your writing, obviously it’s his loss.
John is opinionated and hard to please. Fame has gone to his head.
I’m excited, because I found your blog. I’ve learned something new and very helpful, because you wrote it so well and humorously. I read the whole post and all the comments, because they were so interesting and clever. I think I’ll keep actively following your blog, because it’s smart and funny.
Seriously, though, this was a great post and something I hadn’t thought about previously. I’ll be digging through your blog for more.
P.S. Yoda could’ve really used this advice.
I’m glad you found my blog too! We’ve had fun with the Strong vs Weak Word series. You will see that I like to poke fun at myself. But in all seriousness, I learned a great deal while editing my novel and felt compelled to share my great wisdom . . . er, I mean the kernels I discovered in the process.
Hope to see you around this place!
Definitely!
Linear writing, I can see how that would really make a story feel smoother, I shall keep that in mind!
Have you seen the film Memento? It’s the antithesis of what you’re saying here! The story starts at the end and works backwards. It works really well and is so cleverly done and reflects the guy’s memory problems. It completely illustrates what you’re saying here though because as you watch the film, you keep feeling confused and then understanding, confused and then understanding…but that is the point of it. Do see it if you haven’t!
I haven’t seen the movie but just put it on my Netflix queue. Interesting premise. Thanks for telling me about it.
P.S. I’m excited to hear you sing at Lou Ann’s party Saturday!
I wouldn’t get too excited, seriously, it’s best to keep your expectations low.
Because it is you . . . I have high expectations and know I won’t be disappointed. Are you bringing the pole and tassels?
Oh dear, I have a feeling you WILL be disappointed. I’d better ensure you’ve had a few cocktails first…
You are clever, funny, and generous with it – I had to do a few re-writes to get that in the proper order… and I like you just because 🙂
You are so funny. I like you just “because” too!
Whoa never thought of that or saw that! That’s a great point to look out for.
It makes sense, but I hadn’t thought about it either. Fixing the “because-s” in my novel ironed out some sentences I was having trouble with but didn’t know what was wrong with them.
Great tips, Robin. “Because” needs to be ferreted and removed whenever possible. It’s also an easy way to look for events out of sequence. I went to the Taos Writer’s Conference a few years ago and I’ll never forget what one young woman said in the introductions to our Creative Nonfiction class…something like: “I had to acknowledge that I was one when I saw the sign at the resort’s front desk – ‘Welcome Writers.'”
How was the Taos Writer’s Conference? Did you enjoy it? Taos is a magical place and I think an excellent place for inspiration.
At the conference in LA, I kept looking around the room thinking, “Have the real writers here spotted me as an impostor?”
I loved the Taos Writer’s Conference. The setting is magical and it was a great conference. I would go again. I imagine LA could be a bit intimidating. Lot’s of screenwriters?
There was a separate conference held at the same time, same place, for screenwriters. The screenwriter crowd was much younger and hipper looking. I’m going to look into the Taos conference. Maybe we can meet up!
Robin,
That would be truly awesome! It’s in the summer and I would definitely drive down and do it again if you decided to attend!
How clever you are, Robin, even in the company of dead writers’ society. I love reading here about the do’s and don’ts. I also like the crowd here. Many thanks.
The crowd here is delightful. Even the dead writers . . .
love your sense of humour when you are gently teaching us something!
I crack myself up. Sometimes at any rate.
Most of my “because” uses are in dialogue. But there are other sneaker ways we put effect before cause. I’ll never be done editing!
Or, perhaps, I meant “sneakier” ways….
But I liked the “sneaker ways.”
I may never be finished editing either. Sigh.
I like your ironic self-deprecating style. I think you handle it really well. Makes for amusing writing! As well as informative and useful – that last paragraph comparison really does demonstrate the benefit of narrating in chronological order. Simplicity of style wins out almost every time.
Well thank you so much Sarah. Delightful of you to say. Glad you found the post useful. The Strong vs Weak Word series was born out of editing my novel. I learned so much along the way. Did you check out any of the other posts in the series?
This is a great post and a difficult one to write, because the concept is rather subtle. You raise excellent points, and I think you covered it beautifully. Another thing to keep in my mind while writing. Thank you, Ms. Robin!
By the way, I loved this: “felt all grown-up and writerly sitting among real writers.” I know the feeling. 🙂
Thanks Carrie. Mr. James’s guidance helped me iron out some rough patches in my story.
I felt a bit like an interloper at the conference.
Well it just shows how ignorant I am. Just a reader, not a writer. In the examples you give the ordering works in a paragraph but quite frankly I’m not so sure when it comes to a single sentence. I much prefer to read your Charles Dickens squealed with delight when he discovered Robin’s blog, to the alternative. Something interesting at the beginning of the sentence to hold my attention and make me ask why was he delighted. Even if the name was John Smith and not Dickens it still works, for me, anyway. I hope I don’t start dissecting everything I read from now on !
Good point. Grabbing the attention of the reader with action, or squealing in that example, is a good thing. But in my notes I wrote that Mr. James said, “Think stimulus, then response. Not response, then stimulus.” I guess it has to do with what kind of impact you want.
Since I started writing in earnest, I dissect everything I read. The stuff I don’t like for why I don’t like it, and the writing I love and I ask myself, “How’d they do that? I want to write like that!”
I sort of compare it to many real life situations where the reponse to a situation isn’t the result of deliberate thought but an instantaneous reaction, followed momentarily later by a conscious realization of the cause.To me that’s the order in which they happened. Will be watching with interest from now on as I read.
I rather like the idea of Charles Dickens squealing, but only “after” he reads your blog. I don’t have a lot of because-s in my book. Do you think first person vs third person might be why? … I was terrible with flashbacks and circular storytelling in my first two books. I finally got a handle on that by the third. 😉
Chuck is such a girl.
I don’t know about the first person vs third person thing. My novel is in the first person and lots of “because-s” sure sneaked in! Glad to hear “because” isn’t a problemo for you.
Oh, I have other words cursing me! I don’t know why I thought you were in third. I probably knew and then forgot. I only looked at my current WIP; I don’t dare go back and look at the others! I’m not republishing – even for 300 because-s. 🙂
Aren’t you the tiniest bit curious?
No! Truly. I know my books will never be perfect. With your guidance, I think I did a good job of cleaning them up, but I really don’t want to go back and look for anything else. I absolutely do not want to republish again. I’m just trying to do better as I go forward. “Because” has been added to my list of words to watch.
That may have sounded “short.” It should have included a “thank you” and a smiley face at the end. 🙂
Didn’t sound short to me!
Thanks for this. I’m guilty of it now and then and usually catch them on the edit, though my beta’s have caught some I missed. Thank goodness for betas, and not the fish kind, though they are pretty to look at.
I was surprised by how many “because-s” I have. I’m anxious to pare them down.
my, my ,my you do know alot of famous authors. No quitting the blog– you write no such drivel.
Yeah, I hang with the in-crowd of dead writers. They love my grim humor.
you are a funny lady..your wit is to die for
Hence, dead writers love me.
Yes, this is something we work on quite a bit in my writing group. We’ll call each other out on these out-of-order action sequences. It really helps!
I wish I had a writing group. How did you find yours?
I got lucky. ; ) I looked for one many years ago (seven years ago, I think), and found one listed on one of our local writers’ network websites. It said it was a group of women who wrote and met and had a glass of wine as they talked about it. Sounded good to me!
That group disbanded, but one of the more recent members dragged me along to her other writing group. It was the best thing that ever happened to me, writing-wise. They are clever, and witty, and hard-working, and we all want good things to happen for each other. I highly recommend finding a group… and not settling for second-best.
I will look into joining a writing group after the first of the year. How often do you meet? What is the format? Structured or informal? Do you find people are honest in their feedback? Do you invite yourself to join, or do you need to be invited? Curious minds want to know.
We meet every three weeks, but that’s changed over time. We have six members right now, so we read three members’ work each time before we meet, then we each take turns making our recommendations/critique.
I think some people are very honest, and others are too kind, but you can usually read between the lines. ; ) I was invited into this one but requested membership in my first one. They read my stuff to see if I’d be a good fit.
I wish you luck!!!