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No one ever accused Las Vegas of being politically correct.

English: Las Vegas Strip

Let’s take the kids to “Sin City,” hon! (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Remember the short-lived campaign promoting Vegas as a kid-friendly destination? Yes, bring the kiddies to a God-forsaken flat place in the desert where gambling is legal!  (I was under the misguided understanding that prostitution was legal too, but I stand corrected. Sorry Las Vegas locals. ) The casino moguls built video arcades, staged swashbuckling pirate shows, and installed elaborate pools where little Johnny could get an eyeful of fake bazooms. Big Johnny enjoyed that too.

Why travel to Paris, New York, or Venice when you can visit all three dream-vacation spots in one day? And lose your shirt at the roulette table, take in an all-nude male revue, and wonder if you can sneak little Johnny into the all-you-can-eat buffet?

The kid-friendly campaign was replaced with “What happens in Las Vegas stays in Las Vegas.” Oh, and it is best to leave the kids home.

The debate over gun control hasn’t phased Las Vegas. Nope. They embrace the discussion and say, “Heck, let’s use it as a promotional tool.”

I know I am late in sharing this wealth of armed and dangerous Valentine’s Day celebration ideas for this year, but you can plan your trip with your one true love for next year.

Where else but Las Vegas can you go to a shooting range and partake in a “take a shot at love” package for Valentine’s Day? The special offer includes 50 submachine gun rounds. At another range, loving bride and groom couples can pose with an ammunition belt and Uzi. Brings a whole new meaning to “shotgun wedding,” doesn’t it? And a third (good lord, how many shooting ranges does Las Vegas have?) offers hopeless romantics the chance to renew their vows by the “Pistol Packing Preacher” and shoot a paper zombie in the face. Ain’t love grand?

These tempting wedding/vow renewal offers aren’t limited to Valentine’s Day. The shooting ranges will take your money any day in exchange for a chance to pose with your blushing bride while you hold an AK-47.

Or, if love isn’t in the air for you, you can shoot a fully automatic weapon at your ex-wife’s photograph. Nice.

Let’s not get into a heated debate about gun control here. Let’s just stand back, scratch our heads, and say in unison, “Are you freaking kidding me?”

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