Let’s talk about manners. Specifically, bad manners. More specifically, bad manners that make me peevish.
We all know to say “please” and “thank you.” Those good manner policies have been around since Eve asked, “May I please have an apple?” When Adam handed Eve the apple, she said, “Thank you, my fig leaf-festooned friend.” To which Adam said, “You are welcome, darling Eve, but I think you better start packing your bags.
What are some of your bad manner pet peeves?
Do you see any cell phones here? Of course not! Well, maybe the guys on the stairs are texting. Hard to tell. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Here’s one of mine . . . people talking on their cell phone while they pay for their groceries. It is disrespectful to the clerk who feels invisible, and rude to the folks who are forced to listen to the inane phone conversation.
While we are on the subject of the grocery store, where I spend most of my waking hours, why do people leave their carts in the middle of the aisle and make passage impossible? Their carts must come with blinders and earplugs because they don’t seem to notice my discreet, “Ahem. Move it, lady.”
If I have a full cart of groceries and the person in line behind me is buying a pack of gum, I let them go ahead of me. Why do they rarely say thank you?
Back to cell phones. Sure, we all need to use our cell phone in public places, but why is it some people feel the need to talk on their phone so all the world can hear what they are saying? What about cell phone use in restaurants? Public Restrooms (ew)? What about those nearly invisible Bluetooth dealies? More than once I’ve thought someone was speaking to me only to discover they were on the phone with Aunt Mabel.
Or, how about when you break your neck to arrive on time for an appointment with a doctor, lawyer, or Indian Chief and are informed he/she is running an hour behind schedule. Couldn’t they call to let you know you had an extra hour to read blogs?
Don’t get me started on thank you notes. Too late. Our niece was married in November. I purchased a lovely gift and had it sent to her house. To this day, I have no idea if it arrived. Sure I can ask her about it, but why no acknowledgement? Not a Tweet, Facebook comment, email, text, note, phone call, carrier pigeon . . . na da. Not that it really matters, but the dang gift was expensive.
I always stop to let people cross in front of my car while driving in a parking lot. Always. Most people don’t look up, wave thanks, or nod their head. When someone stops for me, I acknowledge their kindness for not running over me.
Why is it some people think it is hunky-dory to let precious Fido poop on your lawn and leave it for you to deal with?
My husband is a big guy. When we travel by plane, it never fails that the person in front of him reclines their seat, thereby ruining our vacation because my husband’s kneecaps are broken. Sure, the seat is designed to recline, but it doesn’t mean you are required to hurt the person behind you.
I sound like Andy Rooney here so I’ll stop. Let me put a twist on bad manners so they are good manners.
Hang up the damn phone.
Call when you are running late.
Make room for people.
Acknowledge kindness of any kind.
Don’t let your dog ruin someone’s green pastures.
Oh, and hang up the damn phone.
I’ll save bad table manners for another post.
What’s on your good/bad manner list?
Robin Coyle 
My pet peeve are cell phones. I apologize profusely for spending eight years in the cell phone industry building cell sites so that those stupid (smart?) phones could invade our lives. If there were eight years that I could take back and live all over again, they would be 1994-2001!
Do you own a cell phone? I love my cell phone but don’t like rude cell phone users.
I entirely agree with what you’ve said here, Robin and I hope that venting your frustrations has made you feel a little more relaxed. 🙂
I’d like you to know that I get married in six days (holy cow!) and I have already sent out a number of Thank you cards to the kind folk who have given us really wonderful gifts. I’m sorry to say it but your niece has been extremely rude, it’s not on. I have a friend who never once acknowledged baby and wedding presents we’ve given and it’s downright rude and unacceptable.
It pisses me off when you hold a door open for someone and they don’t say thank you or when you let a bus/car/taxi/horse and car pull out on the street and they don’t say thank you. Sure, I didn’t do this gesture in order to gain gratitude, but it would be nice… actually, you probably shouldn’t get me started – I wouldn’t know where to end! Ha ha! Loved your post, as always! 🙂
Yes, it felt good to get that all off my chest.
6 days! Wow. I can’t wait to see wedding photos. You will share them on your blog, right? Are you ready?
My niece is pregnant and I was invited to the baby shower. The invitation said where she is registered. It also said to feel free to buy any of the items on the registry at a secondhand children’s store (never saw that suggestion before.) The hostesses also said to bring a package of diapers (nappies, as you call them). I wanted to RSVP that I will attend the baby shower if I get a thank you note for the wedding present. Ha!
Needless to say, I’m not sending a gift to the baby shower. I’ll wait until the baby is born to send a gift. Bah humbug.
Good luck with the last 6 days of countdown!
I really can’t stand seeing kids wearing headphones or playing their stupid video games in public. First of all, it’s dangerous because they’re crossing the street with them! Eyes are on Temple Run, not the car about to smash into them. Second of all, the games prevent them from engaging with the real world. I have serious worries about the next generation and their ability to hold intelligent conversations with people, as I fear they will speak like robots.
Don’t get ME started on texting. That’s a post in itself.
I wish I could find it again, but I saw a poignant photo of an elderly couple sitting next to each other sharing a newspaper and obviously discussing the article on the front page. The photo was juxtaposed with a photo of two teenagers sitting next to each other while texting. One couldn’t help but wonder if they were texting each other!
Guest that ignore me while I’m dropping off their bags! Some of then continue to ignore me even after I’m finished! I think they hope I’ll quietly slink away…
You mean we are supposed to make eye contact with the bellman? Who knew?
For some reason, wordpress wouldn’t let me “like” your post. That is bad manners! As far as the checker and the customer one the phone, the one that really grieves me is having the checker talk to someone else while ringing up your groceries, and then never even looking at you while they give the amount and you pay them, because they are still talking to someone else! I confess, I talk on my phone in public, but never while checking out with a clerk, unless, its the do it yourself thingy, and usually when I’m walking somewhere, not standing still. Great post. I’m thinking you don’t like the grocery store much… 🙂
I feel like I’m always either planning menus, making shopping lists, buying groceries, preparing food, and repeating the cycle. I’m not complaining. I love to cook! But of all the things in the cycle, the grocery store is my least favorite.
Rude clerks need to find a new line of work. I can’t imagine going to work every day and not liking the people you are there to serve.
Clueless, self centered, full of (false) self esteem, and on the phone! It’s a plague.
Why do employers let their employees talk on the phone instead of checking people out politely, (saying “hello” and “thank you” to the customer standing there – who helped themselves so the employee wouldn’t have to – is too much to ask?)
Great list.
So Fresh Pressed worthy.
Freshly Pressed worthy? I think not. But if they want to FP me, I won’t say no! The post was just me feeling the need to get some things off my chest. Where has common curtesy, customer service, and good manners gone? Oh yes . . . they are too busy checking Facebook to pay attention to being nice to others face-to-face.
“Acknowledge kindness of any kind”–those are words to live by
I think I’ll have tee-shirts printed up. It will be the sister-line to my “Good Grammar is Sexy” merchandise.
I like that idea – I will take mine in green size small/medium
One or two gross?
I will need multi colours and multi sizes if we are talking a gross or two and a storefront and a business licence
Unfortunately, there are too many bad manners out there to list. I have been known to say to the cashier at a bank/restaurant/fill-in-the-blank, “isn’t that the rudest thing, to talk on the phone while you’re trying to help the person?” Most times the person is too busy talking on the g.d. cell phone to hear me. But at least the rest of the people in line get a laugh.
Yes, our society needs much more civility to make it a nicer society to live in.
They do that like the person helping them doesn’t exist. It frosts me. As Denise said here . . . common curtesy isn’t so common anymore. It makes me sad.
Loved reading this, Ms. Coyle! One that I hate is when you say something to someone and they don’t even bother to reply. Or when you invite friends over and they are on there phone the whoooooole time, texting or whatever. (I’m a teen, so I don’t know how many adults relate to this one.)
When we were at a family Thanksgiving gathering last year, all the teenage cousins (10 of them) sat in the living room together visiting, but also, everyone of them was fiddling with their cell phone. I took a picture because it was so funny and a sign of the times.
Oh wow That would be a sight! I had a sleepover with about 8 girls and half were on there phones, half outside at 2 in the morning, wishing the other half were out there. So someone turned the wifi off! (most were texting on wifi.) And as soon as they notice, the girls are like “I’m not getting your wifi signal….” haha
Let me guess . . . you turned off the WiFi, right? Very smart indeed.
My friend turned it off actually! After four of us talked about jokes to play on them…..
Sneaky . . . very sneaky. I love it.
Lol she was sneaky! Honestly I didn’t even know that she decided to until everyone was complaining….
1) Hang up the damn phone
2) Hang up the damn phone
3) Hang up the G++damn phone!!!
Thank you for giving me this opportunity to vent.
p.s. I’m soooo with you on the thank you notes, but I think Emily Post gives brides a year on wedding presents, so don’t give up.
A year? Really? That seems too lenient. Let’s see . . . there were 100-ish people at the wedding. Most were married so let’s assume they received 50 gifts. That means writing less than one thank you note per week for a year.
I say, write 10 notes a day and boom . . . all gifts properly acknowledged 5 days after the wedding.
Oh wait . . . she is probably too busy because she is on the PHONE!
You GO, Robin! Yes! I would like to photocopy this and distribute copies of it EVERYWHERE. Technology and instant gratification have made people even more oblivious to manners than ever. It never fails to stun me when I hold the door for someone behind me and they just walk past me without taking the door from me, looking at me, or acknowledging me—as if it’s just their right to have someone hold the door for them. I don’t know how people acquire that mindset, I really don’t.
Or, when you are walking through a door right behind someone and they don’t hold the door for you. Bam . . . practically hits you in the kisser.
Does it mean people are clueless or mean-spirited? I say both.
Wonderful post, Robin — one that made me nod with such vigor I think I sprained my neck.
My biggest peeve, I think, is when I let a car cut in front of me and the driver doesn’t give me “the wave.” I waved them in, can’t they gimmie a little thank you wave? Sheesh!
Yes, the little wave of thanks. That would have made a great Seinfeld episode. Someone call Jerry.
Um. I hate to break it to you, but “Seinfeld” hasn’t been on in, like, 15 years. Just sayin.’
That is because he ran out of material. Now he can come back because he has fodder for “The Little Wave” episode.
Ah, I get you. Do you know his number? I’ll give him a call.
I-800-THE-WAVE.
I have to say you can rest assured that your gift reached your niece because you can guarantee had you not sent one someone would have made a point of telling you how rude and inconsiderate you were lol
You are so right! My sister most certainly would have asked about it.
Cantankerous-at-Large:
The reason I know that cell phones in restrooms are NOT a good idea is the fact that, if they were a good idea, the phone company would have installed phones in the lavatory years ago.
Yours-in-complaints,
C-a-L
I’ve often wondered why fancy hotels put phones in the bathroom. Do they think rich people need to make calls while sitting on the pot?
What did we decide my new name is . . . oh yes, Cantankerous-at-Large.
Keeping with the grocery store, I hate it when I’ve been standing in a line that’s been held up for 10 minutes for whatever reason (like everyone else, I always choose the wrong line) and a clerk (finally) opens the register next door, and calls cheerily, “I’ll help someone over here” and the (rude, inconsiderate) person behind me who only just pulled up whisks over and gets ‘my’ service. Safeways has a policy of physically going to the customer who has been waiting the longest, and escorting them to the newly opened wicket – thumbs up to that!
Yup . . . that frosts me too. I didn’t know Safeway has that policy. It is a good one! Now, if they would just lower their prices!
It was policy at the store in Thunder Bay ON at least. And yes, they are expensive. Don’t shop there any more, they don’t have them in this neck of the woods.
Great post, Robin. It’s amazing that this has to be discussed – still!
I agree with most of the comments. Cell phones ARE worst. What is it with people that simply can’t say they’ll call back. Is the person on the other end holding a gun to their head? My pet peeve is when someone isn’t mannerly enough to tell ME when I call that they can’t pay attention to anything I am saying because they are checking out in line at a store. I finally realize when they start talking to the cashier while I am trying to tell them something. I stop them and tell them to call me back when they can have a conversation. Geez!
So true. I didn’t think about the flip side of phone conversation, but I’ve had it happen to me. Rude, rude, rude.
Well said! The cell phone thing drives me crazy. I will never understand why people feel the need to have private (and loud) conversations in public. Hang up the phone people – humanity survived for thousands of years without knowing what our friends are up to every second of the day.
I wonder if cell phone behavior will change over time . . . you know, like how littering, driving while intoxicated, smoking, etc. isn’t acceptable anymore.
shopping carts in the aisle always gets me…. And people SEE you coming, KNOW you’re there, yet STILL make no effort to move!
And they give you the evil eye when you politely ask them to move.
“Common” courtesy manners are far from common anymore. Part of the problem I see is parents don’t teach their kids anymore (or model for them).
I generally get thanked when I let people in line ahead of me in the grocery store, and on occasion I get offered to go ahead of someone.
I also frequently observe terrible manners with the cell phone. In lines, in waiting rooms, in restrooms. Really people?
With so many of us here railing against obnoxious cell phone use, why do you suppose it is so prevalent? I predict it will become socially unacceptable to be obnoxious on a cell phone. I hope.
Amen, on all counts, Robin. Yeah, cell phone manners are the worst. I don’t get why people have to talk in restaurants. And they always raise their voices while on the phone. My husband and I turn ours off when we’re dining out – or dining in, for that matter. And we don’t answer the land-line either when we’re eating.
We have the same “policy” around out house. No cell phones at the dinner table.
When someone is dining out and talking on the phone, I always feel sorry for their dinner partner. They must feel unimportant.
Yep, and it’s just plain rude!
Great post, Robin.
Seems no matter where in the world you are at the moment, we all share the same pet peevs. Maybe this is the pandemic we need to cure not bird/swine/guinea pig flu
I guess bad manners pet peeves are universal. Now we need to make good manners universal.
Guinea pig flu? Ha! That made me laugh.
You had me at “please” and “thank you”. How hard is it for a little snit cashier to say, “Please sign here, sir.” as the credit card slip is thrown at me? Usually, it’s just, “Sign!” I have an idea. How about a new class required for graduation from every level of education, every promotion, starting every new job, every annual review, etc.; “etiquette”.
Excellent idea! Since parents aren’t teaching it, or children aren’t remembering the lessons, let’s have a world-wide refresher course.
When my husband interviews someone for a position in his company and is thinking about hiring them, the last interview takes place over lunch. He wants to see their table manners. You learn a lot about someone from that . . .
Expect unemployment rates to go up.
Ooh, I’ve just thought of another one! This was when my kids were younger – you invite a load of kids to a birthday party, and some don’t RSVP at all , or not till the last minute which makes it tricky when you need the numbers. And then you get some that say they are coming, but then don’t turn up without letting you know they’re not coming, or offering any kind of apology later – there’s a cost per head involved with parties, especially if you’ve booked somewhere out where you might have to pay for the total number you booked for, even if they don’t all show. That’s bad manners!
Excellent example of bad manners. The “I’m too important/busy/rude/slothful to RSVP” thing drives me crazy!
I totally agree with all of the above!
ps
especially the plane seats (I never put mine back)
And people who don’t pick up their dog’s poop (not good)
I’m actually feeling a little irritated right now…
Ha ha! Sorry to get your dander up. I think I was feeling a little testy when I wrote this.
🙂
I hate shop assistants and till operators who carry on a conversation when they should be serving the customers. I’ve been in their job so I know they’ve no excuse.
Ha! We obviously think alike, I made the same comment!
😀
Or, how about when the clerk is helping you and the phone rings. They help the person on the phone and leave you standing there . . . even tho you were there first!
I HATE that!
Speaking of grocery stores, or any stores for that matter, one thing I find really rude is when the person who is serving you is chatting with another colleague while serving! I expect to be given their full attention to make me feel like a valued customer (is that unreasonably demanding, I don’t think so), and there have been times where I’ve wanted to ask a question or something and I can’t get a word in!
They have a way of making you feel invisible. I recently walked out of a store when I couldn’t get anyone’s attention for assistance. The clerks avoided making eye contact with me. When I did get a clerk’s attention she said, “Just a minute” and walked right by me. Exit Robin Coyle.
I used to work in retail and MAN was it annoying when people just left clothes and shoes all over the place. Some people have the “oh, it’s their JOB to clean it” mentality. I think those people need to work in retail.
I would echo that and add everyone should do a stint in a restaurant. It would teach people how NOT to treat people in service positions.
Adults are ruder and ruder, and they’re obviously not teaching their kids good manners. I can’t remember any one time when I helped one of my kids’ classmates waiting in line in the morning at school (eg zip up a jacket, fix hair, etc) and I got a thank you. Every time I stared at them. Nothing. Then I would say, what do you say? I got a mumbled thank you. WTH???
People are so inconsiderate of others, that’s scary. We have to slalom around dog poop every morning on our way to school. The sidewalk on the street where I park is just littered with dog poop. Just gross. My friend who’s a cop said there’s nothing they can do because they’d have to catch that person in the act and they don’t have enough staff to have someone sit and wait.
As for the lady leaving her cart in the middle of the aisle, I think you meant to tell her, Move it, lady, please… 😉
Nope. I believe my irritated self meant “Move it, lady.” 🙂
New York City has done an excellent job getting people to clean up after their dogs. I wonder how they did it. Peer pressure?
It makes me sad that the “Me, Me, Me” generation is missing out on learning good manners. That will just lead to more ill-mannered generations to come.
You nailed them pretty well!
My big one that I blogged on last week was people going thru the 20 items and under with over 40 items. Yep, big one for me.
Don’t like the phone thing either, especially if it slows them down in the aisle or in line. Yes, and move the cart!
Scott
I think I missed that post. I’ll check it out.
I stood a few feet back from the 20 item or less lane to count my items. A woman paid me no mind and slipped in in front of me with waaaaaaay more than 20 items. Let the record show, I had less than 20 items.
I think you may be right… in your comment that we Boomers were taiught manners, and whatever other accusations of faults are aimed at us, on the whole, it’s second nature. I know you are right ablout all the bad manners you describe… it’s no more effort to have good manners than bad.
My pet peeve came up this morning… close family member (CFM) needs to pick something up from me that was left with me and now needs to be returned, in each case for their convenience… all arrangements made via [far too many] texts… CFM has a long, annoying history of making, changing, changing, changing, breaking arrangements and is now puzzled at my whatever whenever attitude… we’ll see what happens this evening…
“It’s no more effort to have good manners than bad.” Exactly! In fact, it takes more effort to be rude. Don’t they say it takes more facial muscles to frown than to smile? Being considerate of others isn’t an option in my humble opinion.
Let me know if CFM shows up!
Just to prove me wrong, CFM did turn up, without a single variation to the plan or additional text… amazement… and we had a lovely evening, which is why there’s a ‘C’ in the “CFM’ 😀
Maybe CFM read your comment on my blog. Tee hee.
People who say they’re coming over for a quick visit and stay until midnight!
I have a feeling this has happened to you. Stop making them feel so welcome!
I agree with all of yours…with little kids afoot, I’ll have many to share in the table manners category! Let’s see, my pet peeves: when my neighbor parks his/her car directly under our son’s basketball hoop in the cul-de-sac; grocery cart users who leave crumbs or wrappers right where I’m about to plunk my daughter down; watching someone open his or her car door, seeing the door ding my car, then seeing the person go on like nothing happened; the extended family member who yanked my daughter’s thumb out of her mouth since thumb-sucking is a bad habit; people who make comments on clothing websites criticizing the models for their thinness and requesting “real women”–I am not “real” because I have a small frame and a “low” body mass index?
I’m sure I’ll think of more. If we all gave more grace to one another, there would be so much more peace!
Amen to the door ding issue. I have three nasty dings on my car. Someone HAD to notice they did it given the size of the dents. I couldn’t sleep at night if I put a ding in someone’s car and didn’t leave a note with my number.
Did you say anything to the person who yanked your daughter’s thumb from her mouth?
I didn’t get a chance to say anything to the kind lady who yanked A’s thumb–because little A began to cry and now is terrified of this person, to the point that she will get nervous and even upset when I say that this individual is coming for a family event.
I’m guessing it was Great Aunt Mildred and she has opinions on all things child-rearing, even tho she is a wizened, childless spinster. Am I right?
Actually, she is my husband’s sister’s mother-in-law. She does have lots of opinions, though. She means well. 🙂
My daughter has anxiety issues–normal for a toddler–but more exaggerated than when my son was that age. I don’t like using the word “shy” about her, but I would love for people she doesn’t know well to give her some space and let me handle the developmental issues. Trust me, I’d love for her to stop sucking her thumb…and want to potty train…
Fear not. My youngest was painfully shy when she was little. Now, she is the bell of the ball!
Haha, I have no fears–our little A shows signs of being a show-stealer and total diva if we don’t keep her in check! 🙂
I think you covered most of the peeves my husband and I have! We try to be polite, say thank you, let pedestrians cross the road safely…. But sometimes I feel like we’re part of a dying breed.
You know what is funny here . . . I realized I am preaching to the choir. My blogging friends/followers have good manners, otherwise, we wouldn’t be friends! So, not one person has said, “I think it is fine to talk on the phone in the movie theater. What’s the beef, you dingbat?”
Talking during a movie in a theater or text messaging on a phone. That bright screen is so irritating in the dark. I mean, really, how can they not know that’s rude?
Because the world revolves around them, not us peons, silly.
You’re right. I should have realized.
Only a couple of days ago, I was having a similar conversation with lady friends over coffee. I’m with you about the cell phone conversations in or out of line and all over the store, plus standing in my way and ignoring me.The grocery carts are a pet peeve. Ahem and yep, I’ve had the same answer–none.
My biggest complaint would be the time I tried to switch into the turning lane. If the car in front of me pulled forward about a half car length (and there WAS room for it), I might squeeze over to the right. I looked the driver right in the eye, pointed and received a glare back. She was a COP. Why should she be nice? Ha ha.
Related to your cop story is when you need to change lanes so you can make a turn, you put on your signal, and the person in the lane next to you doesn’t either speed up or slow down so you can slide over. You slow down to slip behind, they slow down, etc. They are the rude ones. Others who do it are oblivious to the world (and cars) around them.
General lack of consideration of others is bad manners. My husband meticulously painted and detailed a car, including painting the rims. He went to a tire service to have them put new tires on the rims. We got back scratched up rims and grease smeared all over it. There was not attempt to clean it up. They were aware that it had been detailed because they pulled all the crew to look at the engine. It would have been nice if they had noticed the care put into the work and taken a little bit of care in performing their job. Yes, this is customer service but I think lack of observation and caring is the real culprit.
That sounds like shotty workmanship to me . . . ruining and dirtying the rims. Was your husband furious? Did they fix them?
Here is an example of something like that was handled well. I took my car in for body repair after an accident. When I got the car back, the tinting on one of the windows was scratched. I pointed it out and they said, “We didn’t scratch them.” I said, “Well, I certainly would have noticed if my windows were scratched when I brought the car in.” Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. The manager came out and said, “No problem Mrs. Coyle. We will fix the window.”
I wrote a letter to the owner of the body shop commending his manager’s customer service.
But you know what bugged me? The owner never called to say thank you for taking the time to write. Don’t they MOSTLY get customer service complaints?
I’ll get off my soap box now.
Oh no…, he was probably so excited about the commendation that he went out and framed it…forgetting to thank the person who sent it. I’m sure it was an oversight and one day he’ll wake up in the middle of the night and realize his mistake. Give him some time…you’ll hear from him. He was simply in shock. 😉
Amen Sister!! Well you know my disdain for dig poop offenders, I also agree with all your points here. You have no idea how many times a day I have to use my evil eye at people talking on the cell in the library. Aargh!!
Ps. My hubs is pretty tall too– he is always considerate of his big head blocking someone so we sit in the back row alot. Why can’t people reciprocate once and not smush the poor guy?
I mentioned the dog poop issue because of your inconsiderate neighbor. You are welcome.
Yes! How could I have forgotten movie theater behavior! The whole row in front of you will be wide-open but someone always sits smack dab in front of you! Or, the person behind you and one seat over puts their feet up on the seat next to you so they are level with, and about 5 inches from your head, and dangle over your popcorn.
Talking through movies….Grrrr!
Or even texting . . .click, click, click, click.
Yes…and you can always see the glow of their screen in your periphery.
Yes! Shall we get started on candy wrapper noises?
How about soda slurps?
The worst!
Pick up your dog’s poo in the park! Height of bad manners to leave it there. Who is Andy Rooney?
Like they are too important to have to clean up after their dog.
Andy Rooney was a beloved journalist in the U.S. who often made insightful, yet curmudgeon-y commentary on every day things. He died at age 92, one month after his last broadcast on air.
I’ve experienced all your examples of bad manners. But then I got a warm glow as on Saturday night I was at a family engagement party, 85 people, mostly young and I realize didn’t see a phone all evening. That’s not what I usually see when I go out. Perhaps there’s still some hope left.
That is remarkable! We had a family gathering at Thanksgiving last year. All the cousins (age 10 to 25) sat in the living room talking each other WHILE checking their iPhones. I have a photo. Pretty funny, but rather sad.
Now I’m wondering if they didn’t need to use their phones because all their most important Saturday night contacts were present. But it wasa case of Anything you can shout, I can shout louder. I came home with a sore throat and no voice !
That must be it. Why call/text Susie when she is standing two feet from me?
auugh, the seat recline! Why do they even still have that. That half a degree recline can’t possibly be as comfortable as it is miserable for the person behind.
And the person who reclines is usually 5′ 2″ and has no need for that one degree of reclining affords.
As a side not on the ‘thank you’ note – this reminds me of my niece. A few years back I bought her and her boyfriend a bottle of single malt whisky (along with others things for their engagement). Not only didn’t I get a’ thank you’ note, we went to a party six months later and I noticed she had the whisky bottle (re-wrapped in the paper I had wrapped it in) and handed it to the person giving the party. They were so excited and said ‘this is REALLY expensive’! Bloody oath it was expensive because I bought it!!! I took her aside and asked why she thought it was okay to give away the present I had given her and she said she didn’t know who gave her what for her engagement because they threw away the cards. I didn’t get them a wedding present, but they were divorced within two years and sold everything, anyway (rant over).
As for talking on the phone. If mine rings while I’m paying for my groceries (which it inevitably does!) I ignore it until I’m out of the shop and then ring whoever it was back.
Can’t wait for the food manners post!
If you don’t mind me saying so, your niece is inconsiderate, self-centereded, and cheap! Imagine re-gifting a gift to someone who was thoughtful enough to invite you a party! Throw away the gift cards? No thank you notes? Deplorable.
Yup . . . I don’t answer my phone while being waiting on. I am not more important than the person providing the service.
The table manner post is going to be fun to write. Here’s one . . . hats at the table!
Argh! I hate hats at the table 😯
Cris usually has the seat reclining person in front of him and I never do if we’re traveling together. Funny how that works. I always excuse myself when passing in front of a person perusing the shelves but do they ever acknowledge my politeness? Rarely. I also believe that bad manners, or lack of any manners at all, are on the rise. A very sad state of affairs, I must say.
Same thing happens to us! The recliner is always in front of Dick and not me. We can’t switch seats because he has to be on the aisle so he has a little more room for his legs.
Because of you, I say excuse me when I pass between a shopper and the shelves. And I count how many people don’t say it!
My doctor’s office(s) don’t even tell me the Dr is running late when I get there. I just sit for hours until someone wakes me and asks, “Is your name Lori? The nurse is calling you in now.” I despise going to doctors here, they all make me wait forever! I also don’t like it when I’m in a parking lot and people walk directly down the middle of the aisle where the cars are supposed to drive. Just moseying along as if their walking the beach looking for seashells. Sometimes my pet peeves bother me more than other times. It depends on how I am feeling physically, and if I’ve got enough sleep. If neither of those are doing well, watch out middle-of-the-aisle walker’s. 😉
Good one! And, if they do move over out of the middle of the parking lane, they move like a snail! My mom used to say under her breath, “How’d you like me to press your pants, mister?”
I’ve had teenagers look over their shoulder at me as they walk down the middle of the aisle and keep walking down the middle of the aisle as if to say, Screw you, you old bat.”
It seems to me that these and other self-centered beha!viors are on the rise, but I’ve wondered if it’s everywhere or just around me. I live and work in a highly concentrated “Type A” area.
It also seems that there’s an increasingly difficult distinction between the virtual world and the real world and people who would otherwise behave more gently truly forget that they’re in the real world, especially those on cell phones.
Hello?? We’re real people standing right next to you. We can hear you.
My friend said the same thing. She thinks bad manners (and the related poor customer service) are in decline. Why is that? Boomers, raised by the Greatest Generation, were taught manners. Are the Boomers not teaching the Gen-xers manners? That can’t be it because there are plenty of people at every age who are rude. Is it some sort of weird self-preservation via survival of the fittest?
I am a GenXer, who was raised by Greatest Generation parents, as was my husband. (We were “oops” babies). Having grown up with kids who had had Boomer parents, I would have to say that it was the Boomers who failed to teach the manners to my generation.
I did like the Andy Rooney reference! He as a hoot!
I did a whole post on a woman on the phone at Target dealing with her sad relationship. Since then, I have discovered that the pajama/running clothes section of Target (a place I frequent) is The Place to Discuss: divorce proceedings with your lawyer, how your aging mother is getting on your last nerve and how you are so low that you have decided you need to be on antidepressants.
Seriously. I just want to buy running clothes, people!
The last thank you letter I got was from my mom, and it was after I wrote a blog post about how no one writes letters anymore. Before that? Probably 2005.
Don’t get me started about cars… I run, and I am convinced that people try to run me over while I’m crossing the road. Convinced. A golf cart narrowly missed slamming into my friend and me the other day because he wasn’t looking where he was going.
Oh, Robin, your concerns are my concerns. Spread a little kindness, and it will come back to you… at least, I keep telling myself that. ; )
I remember that post well!
I find airports to be a mecca for loud cell phone talkers. Business men are the worst culprits. And they often pace while talking so they can spray their words over the whole lot of us.
I hope you buy reflective running clothes at Target. I hate to think of you getting mowed down! How about a suit of armor outfitted with flashing red lights?
My mom was just complaining today about never getting thank you notes anymore!!! I think the sad realization is that we’re all so busy with our schedules that common courtesy has gone out the window. I think it’s safe to say we’re embarrassing the angels.
It is a sad statement about our society these days. Is it selfishness? Do people take gifts and the gift-giver for granted? I don’t give gifts just so I get a thank you note in return. I give because it is a gift giving occasion and I care about the person. Why do some people not care enough to say thank you. The angels are sad AND embarrassed, I’m afraid.
Oh yeah. the phone thing grates on my nerves. I once had to rent a car while mine was in the shop. I watched this lady walk into the rental car company, rent her car, sign all the docs, walk out with the agent while they looked over the car, then I watched her drive away, ALL while on her cell phone talking to someone else. I don’t think she made eye contact with the agent once during the entire transaction. Bet you $20 bucks when she returned the car, she refused to pay some fee she says she was never told about. Ugh!
That is terrible! I bet the car rental agent felt small and insignificant. What is wrong with saying, “let me call you back in a minute after I rent this car”? Imagine the hell there would have been to pay if the agent was on the phone and ignored the lady who wanted to rent the car!