Robert Louis Stevenson practicing his Mr. Hyde evil-eye. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
I am honored that Robert Louis Stevenson came back from the dead to grant me an interview. Some say he is pimping my blog to jack-up his book sales on Amazon, but I know better. He has long been a follower of this humble blog and he wanted to pay homage to a fellow Strong vs Weak Word advocate. Plus, Oprah was busy interviewing Lance-Romance Armstrong.
Without further ado, I present my interview with Mr. Robert Louis Stevenson.
So, Bob, if I may call you that, I understand your unpublished essay, “Books and Reading No. 2. How Books Have to be Written,” was recently discovered in the Syracuse University library.
Don’t call me Bob.
What is your essay about?
Like the title says, you dingbat, the essay is about “how books have to be written.”
No need to start with the name-calling. What was your motivation for writing the essay?
I was bored with the glut of so-called literature of my day. There is such a thing as vampire, werewolf, and bondage over-kill.
Okay, I get that you aren’t into S & M. What did you say to writers about the craft of writing?
Since you were too lazy to read my essay, here is a snippet for you.
“In the trash that I have no doubt you generally read, a vast number of people will probably get shot and stabbed and drowned; and you have only a very slight excitement for your money.”
Your idea of excitement sounds rather violent. Do you have serial killer leanings?
“ . . . if you really want to know what a murder is – to have a murder brought right home to you – you must read of one in the writings of a great writer. Read Macbeth, for example, or still better, get someone to read it aloud to you; and I think I can promise you what people call a ‘sensation.’”
In your writing, you must simulate reality on paper.
Since I haven’t murdered anyone, writing about it would be hard for me. Next question: How do you recommend I make my writing interesting?
“Leave all the dullness out.”
Easy for you to say. Can you give me an example?
“Suppose you were to be asked to write a complete account of a day at school. You would probably begin by saying you rose at a certain hour, dressed and came down to morning school. You would not think of telling how many buttons you had to fasten, nor how long you took to make a parting, nor how many steps you descended. The youngest boy would have too much of what we call ‘literary tact’ to do that. Such a quantity of twaddling detail would simply bore the reader’s head off.”
I understand you wrote the essay while you were working on Treasure Island. Do you think pirate genre will make a comeback?
Outside of romance novels, no. “The famous buccaneers were not chivalrous, but lubbers and downright dunces.”
Thank you, Mr. Stevenson. You may return to your grave now.
All jokes aside, this long-lost essay will be published in Strand Magazine on Friday.
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Nice work. I think you won him round in the end.
I’m not sure about that. He was a crotchety old coot.
He is a rather stuffy man, at least, to you. I guess I should have expected that, and his lack of manners.
He was a tough interview. I thought my charm and good looks would unarm him, but no. You know how those famous authors are . . .
Perhaps, I will, someday.
“vampire, werewolf, and bondage over-kill”… so, things haven’t changed since 1881, oh dear… “Books and Reading No. 2. How Books Have to be Written” had it been discovered earlier could have saved the world from so many literary horrors even just considering those genres 🙂
Yeah . . . where was Bob when we needed him?
Bobby was pretty rude fella.
That said, “leave all the dullness out” is perhaps the best writing advice ever.
It makes sense, doesn’t it?
I love when they find long-lost manuscripts, etc–it’s always so exciting. I’ll have to check it out. Also, ol’ Robbie was better looking than I thought. I may have to add him to my Hot Dead Guy Collection.
I thought about your Hot Dead Guys when I did this post. Haven’t seen a competition in a while . . .
Your post on RLS has inspired me. Another Hot Dead post will be coming shortly.
Yay!
How did you happen to come back here, JM?
By using the restored “Comments I’ve Made” feature in my dashboard! I saw Weebs’ comment about the hot dead post there. The CIM is really a handy feature. 🙂
Ah. That makes sense.
I also vote RLS as a Hot Dead Guy. Just my two cents, there…
Are you listening Madame Weebles?
Totally agree, Kriscinda.
And you call me MAD!
Great interview. Who to dig up next?
I think Mark Twain would be a hoot. And yes, I am a tad crazy.
Judging from the pic, you interrupted him during his writing time. That’s why he’s giving the evil eye! Robin, my dear, schedule your interviews at a better time. 😉
I should have thought of that! I too hate it when my writing time is interrupted.
After viewing your title, I was hoping you had managed to procure a TARDIS, Robin!
I was crushed, but elated to read your work.
No time-travel needed. I just rang him up.
Good ol’ Bob is a cranky dude. You did a good job of keeping him on track, Robin.
I guess I would be cranky too if someone woke me from the dead after 100+ years!
Nice interview. Sounded like a reasonable sort of fellow. Though I think you may have gone cream puff and not pushed him as far as you could have. His advice was sound though Michael Creighton had a pretty good book about pirates a few years back.
Well, he intimidated me! He started to go all Mr. Hyde on me.
What did you expect…he is after all…dead!
Bob needs a hug. Not that I would hug a decaying, wormy and smelly man. I’m not desperate! Good advice once you get past the snark. I’ve pretty much had my fill of vampires and zombies. I’d be happy to see something on tv about pirates.
I predict pirates will be the next hot genre. You heard it here first.
Interesting interview — RLS is a bit of a grouch, isn’t he? I anxiously await the publishing of this essay. Thank you for this morning’s education and entertainment!
Judith! So nice to see you here. I trust you are feeling better?
Mr. Stevenson was a curmudgeon. He loosened up a bit after I gave him a pint of Guinness.
Just what I needed – a good laugh. Well done! I hope there is more to come about Bob’s essay.
Good idea! I can’t wait to read the whole essay on Friday. I hope he gives us some gems I can use in a post.
What? He can’t talk to you like that. I’m dropping my subscription to his blog.
I knew I could count on you. I imagine he has lost thousands (or one) of followers because of the way he treated me.
Very creative way of sharing this info, Robin.
Thanks, Lori. Gotta keep this place interesting.
Don’t think Bob wanted to be roused from the dead–but you did a good job with a rather reluctant interviewee.
He was cantankerous, a curmudgeon, and a pain in the arse until I gave him a Guinness. Then he started flirting with me.
you know the magic to his heart
Funny! I totally enjoyed this.
Glad to hear that! It is hard to make a dead guy interesting.
Only a good writer would even try!
Interesting interview. What a stuffy fellow so someone is supposed to be porous. Anyway, I look forward to the essay Friday.
He was a stuffed mattress of an interview. So cranky-pants.
Well, I suppose we should cut a dead guy some slack when it comes to manners. I’m curious what his writing requirements are and how well they match today’s market….
You get cranky when you’ve been dead and without a pint of Guinness for 100+ years.
Yes, I am anxious to read the essay when it comes out on Friday. I hope it is material for another post!
Great interview, I think you should interview more dead people! I always find it interesting when they discover unknown work from famous people. I want to hope they can find some real dirt on a person, like they had a ghostwriter, or someone else painting all their art. That would be quite a shock after a few hundred years.
Well then, you will be shocked to learn that I ghost wrote all of Robert Louis Stevenson’s stuff. The story will air on 20-20 next week.
Yep, you must be a ghost to still be around after all this time. 😉
Ouch.
But seriously, can you imagine if they had found he really had a ghost writer? I wonder how many of those writers out there do. James Patterson has other people writing for him all the time and he just slaps his name on the cover to get the sales. I read one of those books (The Christmas Wedding) and it was atrocious.
I have heard about the ghost writing thing with best seller, pump-them-out-fast authors. Shameful. They are chasing the buck at the expense of quality literature.
Your posts are always so much fun–thanks for keeping me entertained:-0
Ha! Thank you. That made my day. I often wonder if I am walking the line between humorous and inane, and leaning more toward the inane side of the track.
Great post…he’s a bit of a rude SOB, isn’t he?
He was rather grouchy. But I guess I would be too after being dead for 100+ years. Plus, my interviewing skills aren’t the best.
Yes, he must be well past being a grumpy old man at his age.
I loved this. Your twisted mind always makes me smile.
I take that as high praise, Jenny. My twisted mind and I thank you.
Can Bobby come to the next blogger party? He’s a barrel of laughs and he looks so happy in that picture 😀 We need to get him up on the roof and feed him champagne 😉
Did you just boot James Taylor off the roof? How’d he take it?
He said -“Dianne, You’ve Got a Friend” – so I think he’s pretty cool about it 😀
I’ve always said, “That James Taylor is one nice crooner.”
I’m astonished that you don’t seem to have offered Bobbie a cup of tea.No wonder he was a little off colour with you. It’s been quite a while since he had one. May I suggest, if you have any more out of the grave callers, you play the host so we get more from the interview than today and less of the ‘twaddling’ talk.
No wonder he was cranky. I didn’t offer him tea! What he probably really wanted was a pint on Guinness.
You should have offered him a dram of Glenlivet! That’d have woken him up…
Even better than a Guinness!
Hell, I’ll have one too…
Now you are talking.
Always an interesting perspective Robin. Educational and humorous, how do you do it? Bob is quite cantankerous… Perhaps he a long lost relative of mine haa
I think “educational and humorous” is overstating it a tad. “Blather and nonsense” is more like it.
Never blather never, ever. Nonsense? Full of sense more like it. 🙂
That is why I love you!
What a curmudgeon! You are a saint for being able to complete this informative interview. Congrats.
You know those famous authors . . . they think, as my kids would say, they are “all that.”
Loved it, even though I had to endure a neverending play (Treasure Island) at my son’s school which made me swear never to pick up a Bob Louis Stevenson’s book ever again….until his essay is published, of course.
See you soon! keep up the excellent posts!
I won’t tell your son you didn’t enjoy the play. And I won’t tell Mr. Stevenson either.
I’m anxious to read the whole essay . . . They don’t know why it wasn’t published.
Perhaps the essay consist of, really, a list of stabs at his contemporaries, some of whom decided to hide the ill-disguised hints and bury the essay.
Or, the essay itself doesn’t follow its own suggestions and failed the test of publication.
Or again, the essay was turned into a neverending school play by an eager fan, and put everybody off reading it.
The latter is the most credible, as we will eventually find out. I’m sure you will agree.
I have to say, I wanted to edit the bits of the essay I pulled from the article in the paper for this post!
You must be a born editor. Not a bad trait in this business.
I better get to sleep. It’s night time in this part of the world. Kind of envious of you lot still having half a day in front of you to chat about books!
Nite nite.
Bob reminds me of a cranky interviewer friend of mine.
Funny and interesting, Robin!
And who is your cranky interviewer friend?
The imaginary man down the street who interviewed me after I finished book #4 and again after #5. 🙂 He was a bit of a wisenheimer.
Oh yes . . . now I remember him.
Hilarious! Reminds me of my creative writing professor whose editor advised him to dump the explanation of filling up a tank with gas: “Everyone knows how to do this already! Move along with the action!”
Excellent advice. Funny that your writing professor had to be told to move the action along.
Excellent, I am very proud to call RL Stevenson a Scottish writer. What a talent. Have you read any of his work? I would thoroughly recommend ‘The Master of Ballantrae’, it seems to get less promotion than some of his other works. 🙂
Nice post!
I’m not familiar with “The Master of Ballentrae.” I’ll check it out. I read Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde back-to-back with “Mary Reilly,” a book written from his servant’s perspective. Fascinating.
Robert Louis Stevenson seems grumpy. Do you think he’s getting enough fiber?
Very funny stuff, Robin!
Fiber! That is exactly what he needs.