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Those of you who know me, know that I am not one to wax poetic about men’s underwear.
Will whoever just snorted kindly leave the premises?
Back to the topic of men’s underwear . . .
My husband and I were in Huntington Beach, CA recently and stopped in Jack’s Surfboards on the prowl for cute surfers, er, um, ahem, cough, I mean, cute board shorts. Jack’s is a mecca for all things beach and surfing.
A display for Stance underwear caught my eye. Not that I was in the market for men’s underwear, but the packaging and cool-surfer-dude-ness of it made me stop to look. Stance also makes jazzy socks.
I said to my husband, “Honey, this looks like incredibly comfy underwear,” which was code for, “Isn’t it time you threw out those ratty boxers you have been wearing?”
He naively took that bait and bought several pairs of said underwear. Mission accomplished.
The next morning, he opened his new box of Stance undergarments-for-males. Lo and behold, in addition to a pair of hip-and-happening boxers, a nine-inch plastic ruler was included in the box just like the prize inside of Cracker Jacks.
I kid you not.
My husband said, “Why in the world would they put such a small ruler in this box of underwear?”
Thanks to my uncanny ability to maintain a sense to decorum and composure at all times, after a mere five minutes, I was able to pick myself off the floor and wipe the tears o’laughter off my face.
It wasn’t what my husband said or how he said it. (But what he said was pretty darn funny.) What cracked me up was the thought that in the Stance corporate boardroom, someone in a suit and tie brought up the idea of including a ruler in their boxes of men’s underwear. And then the motion passed. It could be that the motion-maker had his hat on backwards and was sporting underwear-revealing saggy pants. That is probably more like it. Only in America, folks.
I have not been paid to tout the company Stance (they owe me one), but you gotta hand it to them. Putting a ruler in a package of men’s underwear is a pretty darn clever gimmick. And funny. And kinda gross.
No, I am not airing my husband’s dirty laundry.
Robin Coyle 
Oh man, one of the funniest garment review I have ever read. I stumbled across your blog while researching the Stance brand to understand why my 19 year old son wanted to pay $30 plus for one pair of underwear.
You have one more follower.
I take it these rulers are not reusable. I mean, I’d never want to draw a line with it.
Okay, Okay, I’m really late to the party. It’s been that kind of late August into fall. But thank goodness I got over here. I needed a laugh, and a HUGE LAUGH you gave me. I can’t stop. I thank you. I haven’t felt that neat pinch at the cheekbones for a while (from having my lips upturned for more than a second). I’m going to look for that underwear to put under the xmas tree for my guy. My guess is that his reaction will be the same as yours.
Oh my gosh! How did I miss your comment. My apologies! I’m glad I made your smile. My husband is now a big fan of Stance underwear. I started to write “Stance underwear supporter” but that sounded kinda gross.
Laughing Out Loud!!! 🙂
You are a delightful audience.
Well it’s only about two months since I replied to your comment on my last post, and said I was going to pop over and see what you’ve been up to (I’m sure you’ve been anxiously waiting, and for that I apologise 🙂 ) So today I decided to attempt to get back into blogging by popping around a few people, and what do I find when I get here? Well, what indeed!
i’ve been trying to think of reasons why there might be a ruler included in with this, other than the OBVIOUS reason of course. So far I have two options…
1) On the assumption that this underwear is primarily designed for surfers, maybe surfers have a use for rulers in their surfing prep. I’m not a surfer so I don’t know.
2) This one is best illustrated in a conversation –
STANCE EXECUTIVE 1: I think we should give away a free gift with our underwear, maybe some stationery?
STANCE EXECUTIVE 2: Ooh good plan! How about a pencil? Surfers always need pencils.
STANCE EXECUTIVE 1: Noooo!!!! Not a pencil, that sounds too much like ‘penis’, and seeing as it’s going with underwear, we wouldn’t want anyone to misinterpret it and think we were being gross or smutty!
STANCE EXECUTIVE 2: Phew, thank goodness you thought of that! We definitely wouldn’t want anyone to think we were being gross or smutty. How about a ruler then?
STANCE EXECUTIVE 1: Yep, a ruler’s good. That’s perfectly safe, no way anybody could misinterpret that. Our reputation as a respectable company is secured.
What d’ya think Robin?
Yes, I’m sure that is exactly how the conversation took place. You know how surfers love their office supplies!
How does it feel being back in the world o’blogging? I have found it is a changed place from several years ago when I was hard at it. Have you found that to be the case?
Well I’ve never really taken more than a couple of months off in one go, so I guess I haven’t been away long enough to notice a stark difference. I feel it’s always changing because of the different styles of bloggers who come and go. I miss those days of when I was hard at it, but you can’t force yourself can you, well, you can, but what’s the point? So I intend to stick around, but I’m not sure I’ll get back to those highly active days!
That is too much for me. Maybe they ought to make a version with the ruler imprinted right on them. Would save on packaging costs, you know.
Okay, that is just gross.
What I think is funniest is how your husband’s reaction could have been taken if he HAD KNOWN what the ruler was for.
Scott
And what exactly was the ruler for? Hmmmm?
Measuring the underwear…why?
I thought it was to measure a certain body part!
lol, I was being sarcastic.
hmmm…I do not know what else to say……….
Exactly!
Ha ha, that’s pretty funny. It reminds me of the story one of my school mates told me, many many years ago. She got a weekend job at a local chemist and her very first customer was a nervous young man who asked for a box of condoms. She asked him what size he wanted and he looked down and said, “Large I suppose”!!!
That is a crack-up. The poor guy. He probably only needed size small but certainly wouldn’t/couldn’t say that out loud!
I just checked and I’m still not getting your blog posts! GRRRRR.
Maybe it never occurred to him that size mattered! How embarrassing.
I almost titled this post “Size Matters” and then thought the better of it.
WOW…interesting marketing strategy. I’ll bet the guy who came up with that got a surprise bonus!
He probably did him mom proud. “That’s my son, the one with the mindset of a 12-year-old!”
What is funny is the outside of the box doesn’t mention that there is a ruler inside.
I kind of feel bad for the men — can you imagine what a blow to someone’s manhood if they don’t measure up? Kinda ” inching” them closer to the crap we as women are subjected to.
Ha! Good one. “Inching” them up to the level of standards we women endure. What was Stance thinking?!? Thank GOSH they don’t make bras!
Good Lord!!
Right!? Amusing, but really? It is so tempting to make comments on guys “measuring up.”
I won’t ask if you measured anything with it.
EW. No. No. No. No measuring allowed.
Giggle.
Gives a whole new reason to wander over to the local surf shop.
(If you can make your way through the crowd of nervous middle school boys getting their school supplies?)
Convenient to get a plastic ruler with which to whack your fellow gym classmates.
Anti bullying device. That’s why the suits approved it for marketing?
Or conversely, it makes an effective bullying device. Hmmm. I might use it the next time I see a saggy-pants dude.