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Robin Coyle

Tag Archives: adverbs

Strong vs Weak Words ~ Part 36 ~ Dialogue Tags

08 Thursday Nov 2012

Posted by robincoyle in In Search . . ., Strong vs Weak Words

≈ 102 Comments

Tags

adverbs, Dialogue Tags, Said-bookisms, Strong vs Weak Words, Strong Words, Weak Verbs, Weak Words, writers, writing

You know how I’m an advocate for using strong words vs weak words? Here is one weak word I think you need to stick with. “Said.” There. I said it.

The great and powerful Elmore Leonard wrote in a New York Times article:

“Never use a verb other than ”said” to carry dialogue.

The line of dialogue belongs to the character; the verb is the writer sticking his nose in. But said is far less intrusive than grumbled, gasped, cautioned, lied. I once noticed Mary McCarthy ending a line of dialogue with ”she asseverated,” and had to stop reading to get the dictionary.

Never use an adverb to modify the verb ”said” . . .

. . . he admonished gravely. To use an adverb this way (or almost any way) is a mortal sin. The writer is now exposing himself in earnest, using a word that distracts and can interrupt the rhythm of the exchange. I have a character in one of my books tell how she used to write historical romances ”full of rape and adverbs.”

I agree with Mr. Leonard.

Dialogue tags other than “said” are distracting, and sometimes silly. Take this for example:

“Robin’s blog is a delight,” Madame Weebles smiled.

No one can smile a sentence. Not even Madame Weebles.

Odds are, if Madame Weebles is talking about something as delightful as my blog, she is smiling. Also, think of her as she wrings out from Sandy’s deluge.

“Robin is a sham. She spouts nonsensical writing advice,” Le Clown sneered.

No one, except Le Clown, can sneer a sentence.

Using “said” as a dialogue tag blends into the wallpaper and the reader glides over the word. The words inside the quotation marks need to convey when someone “thunders,” “squeaks,” or “groans.” When the speaker “snorts,” I run for the Kleenex box.

My book group read a worthless book in October. I wasted my precious reading time on a poorly written story and I wanted to throw the book across the room. Foreshadowed promises were never fulfilled, characters were mamby-pamby, and at the end, there was no point except the author had the chance to hear herself think.

The capper for me with the book was the dialogue tag she used throughout. Oh, and her overuse of adverbs.

“What nonsense,” Peter smugly says. “There are no devils.”

So she says bravely, “That’s right. Grandma made up the story.”

But finally he says, with a flat voice, “Grandma knows about devils.”

Really? Says?

“Says” was fingernails on a chalkboard. The only consolation for me was that if she could be published, perhaps there is hope for me.

I think it is fine to use an “asked” dialogue tag now and then. But really, the question mark lets us know it is a question.

In writing this post, I learned that using a word other than “said” in dialogue has a name . . . “Said-Bookism.” I also learned there is a writerly debate over the issue. Some people love to have their characters “croak,” “hiss,” and “bellow.”

Where do you stand on the issue? Do you stick to Plain Jane “she said” or do you venture into the colorful world of “she grimaced?” While we are debating, do you prefer “dialogue” or “dialog?”

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Guest Blog Post

23 Monday Apr 2012

Posted by robincoyle in In Search . . .

≈ 20 Comments

Tags

adverbs, Commas, Corey M.P., Grammar, Guest Blog Post, intensifiers, Verbs, writers, writing, writing tips

To my utter delight, I was invited by Corey at Corey M.P. to do a guest post. It came out today and you can check it out at Writing Tip #11: Moldy Verbs, Adverbs, and Intensifiers.

The prompt she gave me was “Writing Tips,” so I rummaged in my bag-o-writing tips to see what I could come up with. It isn’t an actual bag. It is a notebook filled with scratching and musings. Do you have one of these?

I considered writing about my nasty habit of overusing commas. Since I am not an expert in commas, hence the overuse problem, I avoided the topic. Effect/Affect was tossed out with the trash because the proper usage makes me stumble and I avoid using the words all together. I do consider myself a quasi-expert on moldy verbs, adverbs, and intensifiers because I spent a great deal of time editing them OUT of my novel.

Thanks again Corey for the opportunity to do a guest post. It was fun!

A well-placed comma is a beautiful thing.

 

Self-Editing Out The Clutter

11 Sunday Mar 2012

Posted by robincoyle in In Search . . .

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

adverbs, Pat Holt, Self-editing, Show Don't Tell, writers, writing, Writing Mistakes, writing tips

I’ve read everything I can get my hands on about self-editing. I think of self-editing as getting rid of the clutter – housekeeping if you will. When the writing is tidy, the story shines through, unburdened by extra words and empty adverbs.

I “Stumbled-Upon” this helpful post from the blog “Holt Uncensored.” The post is from 2009 but warrants another look.

Ten Mistakes Writers Don’t See (But Can Easily Fix When they Do)

Ms. Holt gives us a list of ten mistakes writers make but don’t see. Many of the “mistakes” and “tips” on how to fix them are things we have all seen before, such as avoid adverbs at almost all costs and the ubiquitous “show don’t tell.” However, the guidance she gives is different and precise. Ms. Holt’s post spurred me to look at my novel again and I spent most of yesterday clearing away clutter with a fresh eye.

I’ll leave you with this . . . imagine editing your writing before computers. Making revisions on a typewriters must have been a pain.

Strong vs Weak Words ~ Adverbs

06 Monday Feb 2012

Posted by robincoyle in In Search . . ., Strong vs Weak Words

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

adverbs, intensifiers, John R. Trimble, Strong vs Weak Words, Strong Words, Weak Words

You would have thought that somewhere along the way, I would have heard this advice. No high school or college English teacher ever mentioned it to me. It is a simple warning. Adverbs and intensifying words weaken sentences. Here is an example:

OK:  Her purse was very small.

I get it, she had a tiny purse.

WAY BETTER: Her purse was miniscule.

Doesn’t that paint a better picture of a purse the size of a pea pod? In the example above, “miniscule” is a stronger word than “small.”

I learned this tip in John R. Trimble’s book Writing with Style, Conversations on the Art of Writing, an excellent resource for anyone who writes anything from an email to a novel. Being a diligent researcher, I discovered that many others have given the same advice. Where have I been?

Here is an example of weak “ly” adverb use:

OK: When she quietly entered the room, she annoyingly startled me.

WAY BETTER: She crept into the room like a burglar and I jumped like a startled cat.

Do you know anyone who can loudly creep…? Er, creep like a gorilla? Creep implies quiet. Isn’t being startled annoying?

Worse than the lowly adverb is the use of multiple intensifiers. I really, really, really hate that. Oops, I mean I abhor that!

Granted, a well-placed adverb has its place, but searching my writing for “ly” words and very, really, extremely, terribly, and the like made it much better.

Thanks very much Professor Trimble! Or rather I should say, my undying gratitude…

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