Stance Underwear | Robin Coyle

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Those of you who know me, know that I am not one to wax poetic about men’s underwear.

Will whoever just snorted kindly leave the premises?

Back to the topic of men’s underwear . . .

My husband and I were in Huntington Beach, CA recently and stopped in Jack’s Surfboards on the prowl for cute surfers, er, um, ahem, cough, I mean, cute board shorts. Jack’s is a mecca for all things beach and surfing.

A display for Stance underwear caught my eye. Not that I was in the market for men’s underwear, but the packaging and cool-surfer-dude-ness of it made me stop to look. Stance also makes jazzy socks.

I said to my husband, “Honey, this looks like incredibly comfy underwear,” which was code for, “Isn’t it time you threw out those ratty boxers you have been wearing?”

He naively took that bait and bought several pairs of said underwear. Mission accomplished.

The next morning, he opened his new box of Stance undergarments-for-males. Lo and behold, in addition to a pair of hip-and-happening boxers, a nine-inch plastic ruler was included in the box just like the prize inside of Cracker Jacks.

I kid you not.

My husband said, “Why in the world would they put such a small ruler in this box of underwear?”

Thanks to my uncanny ability to maintain a sense to decorum and composure at all times, after a mere five minutes, I was able to pick myself off the floor and wipe the tears o’laughter off my face.

It wasn’t what my husband said or how he said it. (But what he said was pretty darn funny.) What cracked me up was the thought that in the Stance corporate boardroom, someone in a suit and tie brought up the idea of including a ruler in their boxes of men’s underwear. And then the motion passed. It could be that the motion-maker had his hat on backwards and was sporting underwear-revealing saggy pants. That is probably more like it. Only in America, folks.

I have not been paid to tout the company Stance (they owe me one), but you gotta hand it to them. Putting a ruler in a package of men’s underwear is a pretty darn clever gimmick. And funny. And kinda gross.