Strong vs Weak Words ~ Part 43 ~ Turn

Tags

editing advice, editing tips, Self-editing, Strong Verbs, Strong vs Weak Words, Strong Words, Weak Verbs, Weak Words, writers, writing

Okay fellow word wranglers. I have another Strong vs Weak Word for you. Don’t turn away. Please turn to me for help, turn to me for love, and turn to me for affirmation.

Is your head spinning from turning so much?

You guessed it . . . today’s word is “turn.”

“Turn” is a nice enough word. You can have a turn of phrase, turn on your heel or, as I do, turn men’s heads. But “turn” is one of those words that “turns” up everywhere if you aren’t careful.

As per usual . . . here we go.

Robin turned to me and said, “Thank you for following my blog.”

Are you an idiot? Robin is a nimrod.

Robin grabbed my chin with her boney fingers and twisted my face so she could give me the evil eye. She said, “Follow my blog, or else.”

 ~~~~~

Turning her head over her shoulder, Robin said, “I love that you love me.”

You love her? Here is the name of my therapist.

Onion-breath washed over me when Robin said, “How dare you un-follow me.”

 ~~~~~

My love of Robin’s blog turned into an obsession and I thought about her while I was in bed.

Please. Too much information.

My love of Robin’s blog morphed into fearing for my life.

~~~~~

I turn to Robin for advice on all things writing.

That is why agents aren’t returning your calls

Robin is my guru when it comes to how not to write.

Sure, Mr. Roget and his pet dinosaur, Thesaurus, have words we could use instead of “turn.”

Twist

Spin

Rotate

Twirl

Etc.

But why say “she turned her head over her shoulder” when she could bathe someone in onion-breath?

Excuse me . . . I need to brush my teeth.

Strong vs Weak Words ~ Part 30 ~ Put and Place

Tags

editing tips, Strong Verbs, Strong vs Weak Words, Strong Words, Weak Verbs, Weak Words, writers, writing, Writing Advice, writing tips

You all were thinking, “Phew, Robin stopped harping about Strong vs Weak Words. At last we can read something more interesting than eliminating the word ‘it.’  Thank GAWD Robin wised up and moved on to tell us about her daughter’s Army Basic Training experience.”

Not so!

I have more of Amanda’s letters to share with you but I thought I should mix things up a bit.

I discovered two new weak words. Drum roll please . . .

~ “Put” ~

~ and, “Put’s” cousin “Place” ~

Here we go . . .

I put my fingers in my ears to drown out Robin’s yammering. 

Have you tried earplugs? Better yet, try noise-canceling headphones.

Even with my fingers shoved in my ears, I could hear Robin’s incessant screeching.

These are handy to have to block out Robin’s voice. Photo credit: Wikipedia

~~~~~

I put Robin’s manuscript in the garbage.

Whoa . . . that’s harsh. She meant well.

I read Robin’s manuscript and then shredded it to destroy the evidence.

~~~~~

Robin’s electrifying speech put me on the edge of my seat.

First she screeches, and then she’s electric?

Robin’s monotone delivery lulled me to sleep.

~~~~~

I put my purse on the chair next to Robin’s to save my place.

You know she has cooties, right?

I flung my purse at Robin to keep her from sitting next to me.

~~~~~

I placed Robin’s book on my nightstand and her words entered my brain in my sleep by osmosis.

When you say osmosis, do you mean nightmares?

Because Robin’s words haunted my dreams, I pitched her book out my bedroom window. It landed in my pigsty.

~~~~~

Robin placed a heartfelt thank you note in my mailbox.

She writes the BEST notes!

Robin kidnapped my pig and hurled a ransom note tied to a rock through my bedroom window.

Can you believe we are on Part 30?

Strong vs Weak Words ~ Part 23 ~ Wasn’t and Isn’t

Tags

Strong Verbs, Strong vs Weak Words, Strong Words, Weak Verbs, Weak Words, writers, writing, Writing Advice, writing tips

We learned about telling our readers what happened instead of what “didn’t” happen here. Related to “didn’t” is “wasn’t” and ”isn’t.” Again, when I read the words “wasn’t” and “isn’t” in my WIP, I asked myself if it “wasn’t” something, then what the heck WAS it? Let’s explore this idea.

My day isn’t complete until I read Robin’s blog.

Do you have a life? 

My day was incomplete after reading Robin’s blog.

 ~~~~~

I wasn’t happy when Robin didn’t follow my blog.

 She didn’t follow mine either.

My blood pressure rose to dangerous heights when Robin failed to follow my blog even after I liked, commented, liked, commented, liked, and endlessly commented on her asinine blog.

 ~~~~~

She isn’t my favorite blogger but I read a few of Robin’s posts placate her need for attention.

Gosh, Robin is annoying.

 My favorite blogger was Robin Coyle until she went on ad nausuem about strong vs weak words. Geez Louise, give it a rest Robin.

 

Strong vs Weak Words ~ Part 17 ~ Past Tense of the Verb To Be

Tags

Avoid the verb To Be, editing, Overused Words, Self-editing, Strong Verbs, Strong vs Weak Words, Strong Words, Weak Verbs, Weak Words, writers, writing, Writing Advice, writing tips

http://frans3xy.tumblr.com

Yesterday we looked at ways to avoid using the present tense of the verb “to be.” Today, let’s reflect on the past. The past tense of “to be,” that is.

I know, I know . . . you all know the forms of the past tense of “to be,” but here you go anyway:

I was

We were

You were

He was

She was

It was

They were

Who was

I was sitting at my computer waiting for inspiration to hit. 

Same thing happens to me.

 While I stared at my blank computer screen, my fickle mistress Madame Inspiration, was on a date with someone else.

 ~~~~~

When we were finished reading Robin’s manuscript, our book group banned her for life.

Aw . . . how sad.

We read Robin’s manuscript and sent it to Mr. Pulitzer for consideration for next year’s prize.

 ~~~~~

 She was surprised when she received a rejection notice from Mr. Pulitzer

 Really? Is she delusional?

Robin framed the rejection notice from Mr. Pulitzer because he was kind enough to add a handwritten note at the bottom that said, “Your novel would make good kindling.” 

~~~~~ 

It was a shock to Robin when she realized he meant her novel would make good kindling to start a fire, not that the book is Kindle-worthy.

No need for lighter fluid!

Robin smashed the framed rejection letter when she realized he dissed her, not complimented her.

  Sorry!

Strong vs Weak Words ~ Part 15 ~ Starting To and Beginning To

Tags

Strong Verbs, Strong vs Weak Words, Strong Words, Weak Verbs, Weak Words, writers, writing, Writing Advice, writing tips

Disney Start Line

Carrie Rubin over at The Write Transition gave me the idea for this post. Her comment on my post about the word “didn’t” was (in part),

“I have a lot of “started to”s as well. “Her hands started to shake;” “he started to wonder;” that kind of thing. So I’m eliminating many of those, making it “Her hands shook,” etc.

An evil cousin of “started/ing to” is “began/beginning to.”

Let’s look at some examples:

I am starting to be a strong writer.

Yeah, right.

Robin’s wise advice guides me as I make my writing stronger. 

~~~~~

I started writing every word Robin utters. 

Why don’t you read her blog instead?

I write Robin’s advice in my journal and refer to the tips when I edit my manuscript. 

~~~~~

I began to stalk Robin in the hopes she would follow my blog.

There are laws against that Mr. Creepo.

I stalked Robin until she feared for her safety and finally agreed to follow my blog.

 ~~~~~

 Robin is beginning to think I am crazy.

 Ya think?

Robin thinks I am crazy and she reported me the Grammar Police.

 Thanks for idea Carrie!

Strong vs Weak Words ~ Part 14 ~ Didn’t

Tags

editing, editing tips, Self-editing, Strong Verbs, Strong vs Weak Words, Strong Words, Weak Words, writers, writing, Writing Advice

Why tell your readers about something that “didn’t” happen? They want to know DID happen. It is a subtle difference, but it makes a difference,

Here are three examples:

My attempt at learning how to cook didn’t pan out.

Remind me to turn down your invitation to dinner.

My attempt at learning how to cook was disastrous. 

~~~~~

They didn’t accept my invitations to dinner after that ill-fated night.

No small wonder.

They turned down every invitation to dinner after that ill-fated night. 

~~~~~

I didn’t try my hand at cooking again.

Phew.

From then on, I ate take-out Chinese or delivery pizza for dinner. 

Of course “didn’t” has its place. You need to use didn’t at times. If you “don’t know” something, you just don’t know it. Saying anything else would sound convoluted.

BUT, while editing my manuscript, when I read the word “didn’t,” I asked myself “Well, what “did” happen?”

Four examples of asking yourself, “What DID happen?”

I didn’t land the job.

Who did?

They gave the job to a bloke named Paul McCartney.

 ~~~~~

I didn’t hear the on-coming train.

  What did you hear?

“Hey Jude” turned up full-blast on my car radio drowned out the roar of the on-coming train. 

~~~~~

I didn’t get Paul McCartney’s autograph.

 Why not? 

Paul refused to come out of his dressing room even though I politely pummeled the door with my fists.

~~~~~

 Paul didn’t say anything while I scolded him.

Did he call his bodyguard?

Paul scanned the room for an escape route while I scolded him.

See what I mean?

Yum! Er . . . I mean, ugh!

Strong vs Weak Words – Part 12 ~ Can

Tags

editing, Overuse of the Word Can, Strong Verbs, Strong Words, Weak Verbs, Weak Words, writers, writing, Writing Advice, writing tips

I can do the Can-Can, can you do the Can-Can . . .

“Can” is another one of those words that creeps its way into my writing when my back is turned. It is hard to type when one’s back is turned, but you know what I mean.

“Can” hides as “can’t” too, so be careful.

This time, instead of silly made-up sentences as examples, I give you sentences torn from my manuscript before I edited out the “can.”

I can express myself in every dish I create. 

Can you really? Then why don’t you?

I express myself in every dish I create. 

~~~~~

A delicious meal has magical powers that can make a bad day into a good one.

Ooh. What’s for dinner?

A delicious meal’s magical power transforms a bad day into a good one.

 ~~~~~

 French women can throw on a simple black dress and string of pearls and look as though they are Coco Chanel’s best friend.

That is how I look too.

When I throw on a simple black dress and string of pearls, I look as though I am Coco Chanel’s best friend.

 ~~~~~

Mushrooms can give sauces an earthy flavor.

You do know what mushrooms are grown in, don’t you?

Mushrooms infuse sauces with an earthy flavor.

 ~~~~~

I can’t tell you the difference between portobello and a chanterelle mushrooms.

Me either.

The difference between portobello and chanterelle mushrooms mystifies me.

A word of caution ~ Don’t be tempted to change “can” to the wordy “is able to,” “has the ability to,” or “is capable of.”

Sometimes you don’t need the word “can” at all. Other times, the simple solution is to find a rigorous verb to put in its place.

For advice on other words that sneak into your writing, clink on the links below:

• I Have a Problem with “That”
• Sneaky Little Words for the word GOT
• Strong vs Weak Words for the word WENT
• Strong vs Weak Words – Part 2 for the word PEOPLE
• Strong vs Weak Words – Part 3 for the words THING and STUFF
• Strong vs Weak Words – Part 4 for the words GO and GOING
• Strong vs Weak Words – Part 5 for the words ALWAYS and NEVER
• Strong vs Weak Words – Part 6 for the words PRETTY, SURE, and CERTAIN
• Strong vs Weak Words – Part 7 for the word HAD and HAVE
• Strong vs Weak Words – Part 8 for the word JUST
• Strong vs Weak Words – Part 9 for the word ALL
• Strong vs Weak Words – Part 10 for INDEFINITE NUMBERS
• Strong vs Weak Words – Part 11 for the word USE
• Moldy Verbs, Adverbs, and Intensifiers

Strong vs Weak Words – Part 6 ~ Pretty and Sure and Certain

Tags

editing, Overused Words, Overusing the Word Certain, Overusing the Word Pretty, Overusing the Word Sure, Strong Verbs, Strong vs Weak Words, Strong Words, writers, writing, Writing Advice, writing tips

I am pretty sure for certain the words “pretty,” “sure,” and “certain” make my list of overused and often pointless words.

What do you think?

I can be pretty scary when fired up.

 Don’t get me started on WordPress problems!

I am scary when fired up.

~~~~~

She sure is an excellent writer.

 That is up for debate.

 She is an excellent writer. 

~~~~~

He kept certain words and tossed the rest.

De-cluttering your novel?

 He kept the strong words and tossed the weak ones. 

“Pretty,” “sure,” and “certain” were not chronic offenders in my novel, but they wriggled their way into unassuming sentences. When taken out/reworded, the passages were breezier.

Granted, not all “pretty’s,” “sure’s,” and “certain’s” are word-litter but I was surprised by how many I took out.

If you are playing along, let me know what you find in your writing.

For advice on other words that sneak into your writing, clink on the links below:

• I Have a Problem with “That”
• Sneaky Little Words for the word GOT
• Strong vs Weak Words for the word WENT
• Strong vs Weak Words – Part 2 for the word PEOPLE
• Strong vs Weak Words – Part 3 for the words THING and STUFF
• Strong vs Weak Words – Part 4 for the words GO and GOING
• Strong vs Weak Words – Part 5 for the words ALWAYS and NEVER
• Moldy Verbs, Adverbs, and Intensifiers

 

Strong vs Weak Words – Part 4 ~ Go

Tags

Overused Words, Overusing the Verb Go, Overusing the Verb Going, Strong Verbs, Strong vs Weak Words, Strong Words, Weak Verbs, Weak Words, writers, writing, Writing Advice, writing tips

Just when you thought you were safe from me spewing pesky words to look for in your writing, I bring you two more.

“Go” 

And her boring alter ego

“Going” 

Here are examples of how these two little words can suck the lifeblood out of a sentence:

I go shopping for cheap shoes. 

That is a lie. I love expensive shoes.

I shop for cheap shoes

~~~~~~~

Let’s go to London by boat to see the Queen. 

For her Golden Jubilee perchance? (How British of me.)

Let’s sail to London to see the Queen. 

~~~~~~~ 

I am going to have to edit my novel after reading Robin’s wise advice.

 Do you mean Robin’s wisecracks?

I must edit my novel after Reading Robin’s wisecracks.

~~~~~~~ 

I am going to keep the momentum going. 

Would you just be “going” already? Geez.

I will keep up the momentum.

Granted, those sentences are not up for a Nobel Prize in Literature, but I think you can get the point.

I’m embarrassed to tell you how many “go’s” and “going’s” I edited out of my novel. However, I will tell you, if you tell me what you find.

For advice on other words that sneak into your writing, clink on the links below:

• I Have a Problem with “That”
• Sneaky Little Words for the word GOT
• Strong vs Weak Words for the word WENT
• Strong vs Weak Words – Part 2 for the word PEOPLE
• Strong vs Weak Words – Part 3 for the words THING and STUFF
• Moldy Verbs, Adverbs, and Intensifiers

As the photo says . . .

Strong vs Weak Words – Part 3 ~ Things and Stuff

Tags

Overused Words, Overusing the Word Stuff, Overusing the Word Things, Strong Verbs, Strong vs Weak Words, Strong Words, writers, writing, Writing Advice, writing tips

“Things” and “stuff” wormed their way into my novel when I wasn’t looking, so I bring you two more words easily exorcised from your writing are:

 “Thing” and “Stuff”

We discovered the overuse of the ubiquitous “that,” “got,” “went,” and “people.” We also slashed moldy verbs, adverbs, and intensifiers from our work. If you missed these posts, click on the highlighted words above.

When I read an article saying to nuke these words from my writing, with smug self-righteousness I thought, “Those words aren’t a problem for articulate me!”

WRONG-O. I searched my manuscript and sure enough, 32 “things” and 8 “stuffs” were lurking in the corners.

Here are two examples:

My mom unloaded my things from the car.

 What things?

I let my mom unload my (pick your favorite)

 1. twelve hamster cages

2. melted Krispie-Kreme Donuts

3. stiletto high-heels

 . . . from the car.

 ~~~~~~~

Mom hauled my stuff to the bedroom.

 What stuff?

Mom hauled my (pick your favorite)

1. ThighMaster

2. complete collection of Donny and Marie albums

3. unicycle, fake red nose, and clown shoes

 . . . to the bedroom

Again, let me know what you discover. I find comfort in numbers when I hear that other writers let words sneak in to their work. I’ll post about something fun tomorrow because if I find one more thing to edit out of my manuscript, the top of my head will come off.

Strong vs Weak Words ~ Part 1 ~ Went

Tags

Overused Words, Overusing the Word Went, Strong Verbs, Strong vs Weak Words, Strong Words, Weak Verbs, Weak Words, Went, writers, writing, Writing Advice

Stop the presses folks.

I discovered another innocuous verb lying flat on the pages of my manuscript.

“Went”

The word “went” is mild-mannered, but it serves to dam the flow of the story, cause the reader yawn, and make an “action-scene” read as exciting as the phone book.

Like other sneaky little weak words such as “got” and “that,” when edited out, the sentences belt out a song rather than hum off-key. Here are a couple examples of the passive-aggressive “went” torn from the pages of my book.

I went home and cried.

Oh yeah? Big deal. So I changed it to:

Dejected, I crawled home and cried.

~~~~~~~~ 

Angry, I went into my boss’s office.

Boy, you really showed her! The re-written sentence became:

Angry, I slammed open the door to my boss’s office.

I challenge you to search for the weak word “went” in your writing and see if you can change it to a strong verb with pizazz. Let me know what you find.