Strong vs Weak Words ~ Part 43 ~ Turn

Tags

editing advice, editing tips, Self-editing, Strong Verbs, Strong vs Weak Words, Strong Words, Weak Verbs, Weak Words, writers, writing

Okay fellow word wranglers. I have another Strong vs Weak Word for you. Don’t turn away. Please turn to me for help, turn to me for love, and turn to me for affirmation.

Is your head spinning from turning so much?

You guessed it . . . today’s word is “turn.”

“Turn” is a nice enough word. You can have a turn of phrase, turn on your heel or, as I do, turn men’s heads. But “turn” is one of those words that “turns” up everywhere if you aren’t careful.

As per usual . . . here we go.

Robin turned to me and said, “Thank you for following my blog.”

Are you an idiot? Robin is a nimrod.

Robin grabbed my chin with her boney fingers and twisted my face so she could give me the evil eye. She said, “Follow my blog, or else.”

 ~~~~~

Turning her head over her shoulder, Robin said, “I love that you love me.”

You love her? Here is the name of my therapist.

Onion-breath washed over me when Robin said, “How dare you un-follow me.”

 ~~~~~

My love of Robin’s blog turned into an obsession and I thought about her while I was in bed.

Please. Too much information.

My love of Robin’s blog morphed into fearing for my life.

~~~~~

I turn to Robin for advice on all things writing.

That is why agents aren’t returning your calls

Robin is my guru when it comes to how not to write.

Sure, Mr. Roget and his pet dinosaur, Thesaurus, have words we could use instead of “turn.”

Twist

Spin

Rotate

Twirl

Etc.

But why say “she turned her head over her shoulder” when she could bathe someone in onion-breath?

Excuse me . . . I need to brush my teeth.

Strong vs Weak Words ~ Part 36 ~ Dialogue Tags

Tags

adverbs, Dialogue Tags, Said-bookisms, Strong vs Weak Words, Strong Words, Weak Verbs, Weak Words, writers, writing

You know how I’m an advocate for using strong words vs weak words? Here is one weak word I think you need to stick with. “Said.” There. I said it.

The great and powerful Elmore Leonard wrote in a New York Times article:

“Never use a verb other than ”said” to carry dialogue.

The line of dialogue belongs to the character; the verb is the writer sticking his nose in. But said is far less intrusive than grumbled, gasped, cautioned, lied. I once noticed Mary McCarthy ending a line of dialogue with ”she asseverated,” and had to stop reading to get the dictionary.

Never use an adverb to modify the verb ”said” . . .

. . . he admonished gravely. To use an adverb this way (or almost any way) is a mortal sin. The writer is now exposing himself in earnest, using a word that distracts and can interrupt the rhythm of the exchange. I have a character in one of my books tell how she used to write historical romances ”full of rape and adverbs.”

I agree with Mr. Leonard.

Dialogue tags other than “said” are distracting, and sometimes silly. Take this for example:

“Robin’s blog is a delight,” Madame Weebles smiled.

No one can smile a sentence. Not even Madame Weebles.

Odds are, if Madame Weebles is talking about something as delightful as my blog, she is smiling. Also, think of her as she wrings out from Sandy’s deluge.

“Robin is a sham. She spouts nonsensical writing advice,” Le Clown sneered.

No one, except Le Clown, can sneer a sentence.

Using “said” as a dialogue tag blends into the wallpaper and the reader glides over the word. The words inside the quotation marks need to convey when someone “thunders,” “squeaks,” or “groans.” When the speaker “snorts,” I run for the Kleenex box.

My book group read a worthless book in October. I wasted my precious reading time on a poorly written story and I wanted to throw the book across the room. Foreshadowed promises were never fulfilled, characters were mamby-pamby, and at the end, there was no point except the author had the chance to hear herself think.

The capper for me with the book was the dialogue tag she used throughout. Oh, and her overuse of adverbs.

“What nonsense,” Peter smugly says. “There are no devils.”

So she says bravely, “That’s right. Grandma made up the story.”

But finally he says, with a flat voice, “Grandma knows about devils.”

Really? Says?

“Says” was fingernails on a chalkboard. The only consolation for me was that if she could be published, perhaps there is hope for me.

I think it is fine to use an “asked” dialogue tag now and then. But really, the question mark lets us know it is a question.

In writing this post, I learned that using a word other than “said” in dialogue has a name . . . “Said-Bookism.” I also learned there is a writerly debate over the issue. Some people love to have their characters “croak,” “hiss,” and “bellow.”

Where do you stand on the issue? Do you stick to Plain Jane “she said” or do you venture into the colorful world of “she grimaced?” While we are debating, do you prefer “dialogue” or “dialog?”

Strong vs Weak Words ~ Part 31 ~ Look

Tags

editing, editing tips, Strong vs Weak Words, Strong Words, Weak Verbs, Weak Words, writers, writing, Writing Advice, writing tips

Ack! Vacation Interruptus

We were enjoying a lovely vacation day at the cabin yesterday until our neighbor called. Our house alarm was blasting.  The alarm is monitored, or so we thought, so I waited for a call from the alarm company who would then dispatch the Sheriff to check the house. No call, so I called them. They didn’t receive a signal that our alarm went off.

Long, boring story short, I hopped in the car and made the 1 1/2 hour drive home to see what the problem was. Today, I am waiting for the alarm company to come between the hours of 2:00 and 4:00. (Yeah, right. Service companies always say that, and then show up at 5:30.)

But . . . lucky for you, waiting for the alarm company gives me time to torture you with a Strong vs Weak Word post! You lucky, lucky people, you!

Now, don’t “look” at me that way. That’s not nice.

There are many ways to look AT someone/something. (A future post will take a “look” at looking FOR someone/something.)

The look in their eye said they would sell their soul for a morsel of Robin’s wisdom. 

Oh. Come. On.

The evil glint in their eye scared Robin off.

~~~~~

 I looked at Robin’s writing and vowed to emulate her style.

 My advice is to look elsewhere.

I tore apart Robin’s writing advice and realized it was all lies. Lies I tell you!

 ~~~~~

The agent looked at Robin like she was a stalker.

 Robin stalked me.

 The agent eyed Robin and decided to call the police.

~~~~~

 Robin looked stunned when they slapped the handcuffs on her.

I’m surprised. She knows the drill.

 Robin reeled and threw a right hook at the police officer.

 

Strong vs Weak Words ~ Part 30 ~ Put and Place

Tags

editing tips, Strong Verbs, Strong vs Weak Words, Strong Words, Weak Verbs, Weak Words, writers, writing, Writing Advice, writing tips

You all were thinking, “Phew, Robin stopped harping about Strong vs Weak Words. At last we can read something more interesting than eliminating the word ‘it.’  Thank GAWD Robin wised up and moved on to tell us about her daughter’s Army Basic Training experience.”

Not so!

I have more of Amanda’s letters to share with you but I thought I should mix things up a bit.

I discovered two new weak words. Drum roll please . . .

~ “Put” ~

~ and, “Put’s” cousin “Place” ~

Here we go . . .

I put my fingers in my ears to drown out Robin’s yammering. 

Have you tried earplugs? Better yet, try noise-canceling headphones.

Even with my fingers shoved in my ears, I could hear Robin’s incessant screeching.

These are handy to have to block out Robin’s voice. Photo credit: Wikipedia

~~~~~

I put Robin’s manuscript in the garbage.

Whoa . . . that’s harsh. She meant well.

I read Robin’s manuscript and then shredded it to destroy the evidence.

~~~~~

Robin’s electrifying speech put me on the edge of my seat.

First she screeches, and then she’s electric?

Robin’s monotone delivery lulled me to sleep.

~~~~~

I put my purse on the chair next to Robin’s to save my place.

You know she has cooties, right?

I flung my purse at Robin to keep her from sitting next to me.

~~~~~

I placed Robin’s book on my nightstand and her words entered my brain in my sleep by osmosis.

When you say osmosis, do you mean nightmares?

Because Robin’s words haunted my dreams, I pitched her book out my bedroom window. It landed in my pigsty.

~~~~~

Robin placed a heartfelt thank you note in my mailbox.

She writes the BEST notes!

Robin kidnapped my pig and hurled a ransom note tied to a rock through my bedroom window.

Can you believe we are on Part 30?

Strong vs Weak Words ~ Part 23 ~ Wasn’t and Isn’t

Tags

Strong Verbs, Strong vs Weak Words, Strong Words, Weak Verbs, Weak Words, writers, writing, Writing Advice, writing tips

We learned about telling our readers what happened instead of what “didn’t” happen here. Related to “didn’t” is “wasn’t” and ”isn’t.” Again, when I read the words “wasn’t” and “isn’t” in my WIP, I asked myself if it “wasn’t” something, then what the heck WAS it? Let’s explore this idea.

My day isn’t complete until I read Robin’s blog.

Do you have a life? 

My day was incomplete after reading Robin’s blog.

 ~~~~~

I wasn’t happy when Robin didn’t follow my blog.

 She didn’t follow mine either.

My blood pressure rose to dangerous heights when Robin failed to follow my blog even after I liked, commented, liked, commented, liked, and endlessly commented on her asinine blog.

 ~~~~~

She isn’t my favorite blogger but I read a few of Robin’s posts placate her need for attention.

Gosh, Robin is annoying.

 My favorite blogger was Robin Coyle until she went on ad nausuem about strong vs weak words. Geez Louise, give it a rest Robin.

 

Strong vs Weak Words ~ Part 22 ~ Would Have

Tags

Overused Words, Self-editing, Strong vs Weak Words, Strong Words, Weak Verbs, Weak Words, writers, Writers Resources, writing, Writing Advice, writing tips

Would have. Geez Louise. That is all I will say as an intro. Read on.

Robin would suggest ways to improve my writing and I hung on her every word.

 Why? Gosh . . .  get a grip.

Robin suggested ways to improve my writing but I ignored her.

~~~~~

He would bring Robin flowers to weasel more writing tips out of her.

The letch.

He brought Robin flowers and she threw her blog posts into his awaiting arms.

~~~~~

Robin would blush when her readers sent her flowers.

Dead black roses?

Robin blushed when her readers called the grammar police.

~~~~~ 

He would leave me love notes in the comment section of my blog.

Such a romantic fool.

 He left me hate mail in the comment section so I changed my identity.

I am now Paris Hilton.

How awful is this?

Strong vs Weak Words ~ Part 21 ~ Try and Attempt

Tags

editing, editing tips, Overused Words, Self-editing, Strong vs Weak Words, Strong Words, Weak Verbs, Weak Words, writers, writing, Writing Advice

Do your characters “try” to do things? Do they make an “attempt?

If your romantic lead “tries” to win the girl’s heart and fails, that is one thing. But if he “tries” to impress her by wearing after-shave laced with pheromones and she swoons into his arms, he succeeded. Let’s see if some examples help me out here.

I tried following Robin’s point in her blog post but she lost me by sentence two.

There you failed.

I tried following Robin’s blog and loved it.

Gosh, me too!

I followed Robin’s blog and hated it.

~~~~~

I try to learn something from Robin, but she has nothing to offer.

You failed again.

 I try to learn from Robin’s posts and because of her wisdom, I am stronger writer.

Gosh, me too again! We have so much in common.

I learn how to use strong words from Robin. She is so wise!

 ~~~~~

 I was trying to make sense of Robin’s blog post, but she writes drivel.

Failed again my friend.

I was trying to follow the editing advice Robin gives and it works beautifully.

Are you sure we are reading the same Robin Coyle? (P.S. The “was” in the above sentence is awkward.)

 Following Robin’s advice made my WIP Pulitzer-worthy.

 ~~~~~

I attempted to un-follow Robin, but darn WordPress wouldn’t let me. 

 Boy, you must feel like a failure by now.

I attempted to follow Robin and I am glad I did! She is a smart cookie!

Robincoyle.com, right? You sure?

I unfollowed robincoyle.com as soon as I read her last post. As my mom would say, good riddance to bad rubbish.

Strong vs Weak Words ~ Part 18 ~ Take and Took

Tags

Self-editing, Strong vs Weak Words, Strong Words, Weak Verbs, Weak Words, writers, writing, Writing Advice, writing tips

“Took” and “take” are two more innocuous words that pop-up while we aren’t looking.

http://www.cbc.ca/news/arts/film/story/2008/05/29/f-sex-and-the-city-review.html

Sentences with “took” and “take” are fine, grammatically correct, and readable, but look what happens when you reword the sentences.

Robin took the time to show me how to use strong words.

 Isn’t she generous with her wisdom?

Robin showed me she knows what she is talking about.

 ~~~~~

I took one look at Robin’s post about strong words and knew I found a winner.

Have you been drinking?

I looked at Robin’s post about strong words and un-followed her.

~~~~~

She took editing tips and wove them into interesting posts.

Scotch at ten in the morning?

She wove editing tips into tedious posts.

~~~~~

Robin’s talent takes me by surprise.

 Or is it gin? Gin makes you crazy, you know.

Robin’s ineptitude surprises me.

 ~~~~~ 

Don’t take the blame for weak writing.

Aw, come now . . . your writing isn’t weak.

 Don’t blame yourself for weak writing. Blame Robin’s advice.

 ~~~~~ 

I decided to take on the job of writing Robin’s Strong vs Weak

Word series.

Phew.

 I decided to write Robin’s entire blog.

http://crazedairflow.tumblr.com/

Ahem . . . Shouldn’t that be, “Run like you stole something?”

P. S. A huge thank you for your kind wishes on yesterday’s post for my daughter’s safety in the Army. Your comments are making today much easier. 

Strong vs Weak Words ~ Part 17 ~ Past Tense of the Verb To Be

Tags

Avoid the verb To Be, editing, Overused Words, Self-editing, Strong Verbs, Strong vs Weak Words, Strong Words, Weak Verbs, Weak Words, writers, writing, Writing Advice, writing tips

http://frans3xy.tumblr.com

Yesterday we looked at ways to avoid using the present tense of the verb “to be.” Today, let’s reflect on the past. The past tense of “to be,” that is.

I know, I know . . . you all know the forms of the past tense of “to be,” but here you go anyway:

I was

We were

You were

He was

She was

It was

They were

Who was

I was sitting at my computer waiting for inspiration to hit. 

Same thing happens to me.

 While I stared at my blank computer screen, my fickle mistress Madame Inspiration, was on a date with someone else.

 ~~~~~

When we were finished reading Robin’s manuscript, our book group banned her for life.

Aw . . . how sad.

We read Robin’s manuscript and sent it to Mr. Pulitzer for consideration for next year’s prize.

 ~~~~~

 She was surprised when she received a rejection notice from Mr. Pulitzer

 Really? Is she delusional?

Robin framed the rejection notice from Mr. Pulitzer because he was kind enough to add a handwritten note at the bottom that said, “Your novel would make good kindling.” 

~~~~~ 

It was a shock to Robin when she realized he meant her novel would make good kindling to start a fire, not that the book is Kindle-worthy.

No need for lighter fluid!

Robin smashed the framed rejection letter when she realized he dissed her, not complimented her.

  Sorry!

Strong vs Weak Words ~ Part 16 ~ Present Tense of To Be

Tags

books, Overused Words, Strong vs Weak Words, Strong Words, Weak Verbs, Weak Words, writers, writing, Writing Advice, writing tips

“One of the most common stylistic mistakes aspiring writers make is to rely too much on the verb “to be.” ~ EssayForum.com

I wonder what Mr. Shakespeare would say. Isn’t his oft quote soliloquy, “To be, or not to be?”

When I read EssayForum.com’s page on avoiding the verb “to be,” I thought uh-oh. I dashed to my computer to do a quick search, and GUILTY AS CHARGED YOUR HONOR!

But how to fix this “common stylist mistake” was a puzzle. I couldn’t put my hands on concrete ways to avoid the verb “to be,” but found many sites and books with admonitions to keep away from the verb like it is an outbreak of e coli.

You will be getting some tips on the present tense of “to be” today, and the past tense form in the near future. I know you know this, but as a refresher on our new enemy “to be” in the present tense:

I am and I’m

He is and He’s

She is and She’s

It is and It’s

We are and We’re

They are and They’re

You are and You’re

~~~~~

I am making every effort to write well. 

Good for you!

I make every effort to write just like Robin.

~~~~~

He feels Robin’s presence when he is writing.

Like a poltergeist? 

Robin’s annoying voice rings in his head when he writes.

~~~~~

It is odd how often Robin edits her manuscript

Maybe the book is really bad.

Robin edits her manuscript freakishly often.

~~~~~

We are hoping Robin shares more tips on how to use strong vs. weak words.

 Ask, and ye shall receive!

We hope Robin changes the theme of her posts to underwater basket weaving.

Strong vs Weak Words ~ Part 15 ~ Starting To and Beginning To

Tags

Strong Verbs, Strong vs Weak Words, Strong Words, Weak Verbs, Weak Words, writers, writing, Writing Advice, writing tips

Disney Start Line

Carrie Rubin over at The Write Transition gave me the idea for this post. Her comment on my post about the word “didn’t” was (in part),

“I have a lot of “started to”s as well. “Her hands started to shake;” “he started to wonder;” that kind of thing. So I’m eliminating many of those, making it “Her hands shook,” etc.

An evil cousin of “started/ing to” is “began/beginning to.”

Let’s look at some examples:

I am starting to be a strong writer.

Yeah, right.

Robin’s wise advice guides me as I make my writing stronger. 

~~~~~

I started writing every word Robin utters. 

Why don’t you read her blog instead?

I write Robin’s advice in my journal and refer to the tips when I edit my manuscript. 

~~~~~

I began to stalk Robin in the hopes she would follow my blog.

There are laws against that Mr. Creepo.

I stalked Robin until she feared for her safety and finally agreed to follow my blog.

 ~~~~~

 Robin is beginning to think I am crazy.

 Ya think?

Robin thinks I am crazy and she reported me the Grammar Police.

 Thanks for idea Carrie!

Strong vs Weak Words – Part 12 ~ Can

Tags

editing, Overuse of the Word Can, Strong Verbs, Strong Words, Weak Verbs, Weak Words, writers, writing, Writing Advice, writing tips

I can do the Can-Can, can you do the Can-Can . . .

“Can” is another one of those words that creeps its way into my writing when my back is turned. It is hard to type when one’s back is turned, but you know what I mean.

“Can” hides as “can’t” too, so be careful.

This time, instead of silly made-up sentences as examples, I give you sentences torn from my manuscript before I edited out the “can.”

I can express myself in every dish I create. 

Can you really? Then why don’t you?

I express myself in every dish I create. 

~~~~~

A delicious meal has magical powers that can make a bad day into a good one.

Ooh. What’s for dinner?

A delicious meal’s magical power transforms a bad day into a good one.

 ~~~~~

 French women can throw on a simple black dress and string of pearls and look as though they are Coco Chanel’s best friend.

That is how I look too.

When I throw on a simple black dress and string of pearls, I look as though I am Coco Chanel’s best friend.

 ~~~~~

Mushrooms can give sauces an earthy flavor.

You do know what mushrooms are grown in, don’t you?

Mushrooms infuse sauces with an earthy flavor.

 ~~~~~

I can’t tell you the difference between portobello and a chanterelle mushrooms.

Me either.

The difference between portobello and chanterelle mushrooms mystifies me.

A word of caution ~ Don’t be tempted to change “can” to the wordy “is able to,” “has the ability to,” or “is capable of.”

Sometimes you don’t need the word “can” at all. Other times, the simple solution is to find a rigorous verb to put in its place.

For advice on other words that sneak into your writing, clink on the links below:

• I Have a Problem with “That”
• Sneaky Little Words for the word GOT
• Strong vs Weak Words for the word WENT
• Strong vs Weak Words – Part 2 for the word PEOPLE
• Strong vs Weak Words – Part 3 for the words THING and STUFF
• Strong vs Weak Words – Part 4 for the words GO and GOING
• Strong vs Weak Words – Part 5 for the words ALWAYS and NEVER
• Strong vs Weak Words – Part 6 for the words PRETTY, SURE, and CERTAIN
• Strong vs Weak Words – Part 7 for the word HAD and HAVE
• Strong vs Weak Words – Part 8 for the word JUST
• Strong vs Weak Words – Part 9 for the word ALL
• Strong vs Weak Words – Part 10 for INDEFINITE NUMBERS
• Strong vs Weak Words – Part 11 for the word USE
• Moldy Verbs, Adverbs, and Intensifiers

Strong vs Weak Words – Part 4 ~ Go

Tags

Overused Words, Overusing the Verb Go, Overusing the Verb Going, Strong Verbs, Strong vs Weak Words, Strong Words, Weak Verbs, Weak Words, writers, writing, Writing Advice, writing tips

Just when you thought you were safe from me spewing pesky words to look for in your writing, I bring you two more.

“Go” 

And her boring alter ego

“Going” 

Here are examples of how these two little words can suck the lifeblood out of a sentence:

I go shopping for cheap shoes. 

That is a lie. I love expensive shoes.

I shop for cheap shoes

~~~~~~~

Let’s go to London by boat to see the Queen. 

For her Golden Jubilee perchance? (How British of me.)

Let’s sail to London to see the Queen. 

~~~~~~~ 

I am going to have to edit my novel after reading Robin’s wise advice.

 Do you mean Robin’s wisecracks?

I must edit my novel after Reading Robin’s wisecracks.

~~~~~~~ 

I am going to keep the momentum going. 

Would you just be “going” already? Geez.

I will keep up the momentum.

Granted, those sentences are not up for a Nobel Prize in Literature, but I think you can get the point.

I’m embarrassed to tell you how many “go’s” and “going’s” I edited out of my novel. However, I will tell you, if you tell me what you find.

For advice on other words that sneak into your writing, clink on the links below:

• I Have a Problem with “That”
• Sneaky Little Words for the word GOT
• Strong vs Weak Words for the word WENT
• Strong vs Weak Words – Part 2 for the word PEOPLE
• Strong vs Weak Words – Part 3 for the words THING and STUFF
• Moldy Verbs, Adverbs, and Intensifiers

As the photo says . . .

Strong vs Weak Words ~ Part 1 ~ Went

Tags

Overused Words, Overusing the Word Went, Strong Verbs, Strong vs Weak Words, Strong Words, Weak Verbs, Weak Words, Went, writers, writing, Writing Advice

Stop the presses folks.

I discovered another innocuous verb lying flat on the pages of my manuscript.

“Went”

The word “went” is mild-mannered, but it serves to dam the flow of the story, cause the reader yawn, and make an “action-scene” read as exciting as the phone book.

Like other sneaky little weak words such as “got” and “that,” when edited out, the sentences belt out a song rather than hum off-key. Here are a couple examples of the passive-aggressive “went” torn from the pages of my book.

I went home and cried.

Oh yeah? Big deal. So I changed it to:

Dejected, I crawled home and cried.

~~~~~~~~ 

Angry, I went into my boss’s office.

Boy, you really showed her! The re-written sentence became:

Angry, I slammed open the door to my boss’s office.

I challenge you to search for the weak word “went” in your writing and see if you can change it to a strong verb with pizazz. Let me know what you find.