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Robin Coyle

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Robin Coyle

Tag Archives: writing tips

Boring Details

09 Tuesday Aug 2016

Posted by robincoyle in In Search . . .

≈ 20 Comments

Tags

editing, editing tips, Self-editing, Show Don't Tell, writers, writing, Writing Advice, writing tips

I’ve written about this before, as have many of you writers.

When you write a manuscript for a novel, short story, poem, or whatever, you look at your words with a critical (aka incredibly harsh) eye.

Do the words say what you mean to say?

Do the words move the story along?

Are the words worthy of a reader’s time?

Are the words complete and utter drivel?

As a result of such scrutiny of my own words, I inadvertently do the same review of the words in the books I read. It has rather spoiled the pleasure of a quiet afternoon with a book (or Kindle) on my lap.

Let me give you an example of what I mean. I am reading a book with an interesting storyline, good character development, and moves along nicely. Except, and this is a big except, the author spends way too much time and ink on mundane details.

We find ourselves with our protagonist at a pivotal moment in her life. Her husband cheated on her and she learned that the man she knows as her father might not be her father. She needs to clear her head and think about the implications of these revelations. The author writes of the momentous moment as such:

“I pulled into the parking lot of Glacier Point, put the car in park, turned off the ignition, took off my seatbelt, opened the door, and walked to look at the view. I felt more calm with Half Dome before me.”

Really? Your husband cheated on you and I should care that you parked your car and took off your seatbelt? Honey, what you need is a shot of Jack Daniels.

Being the editor in my head that I am, I said to myself, “So, smarty pants, since you think you are God’s gift to writing, how would you capture the moment?”

So on a lark (you know how we writers love to write on a lark), I took a stab at capturing what the woman was feeling in the face of devastating news.

“My troubled heart longed for the peace that can be found while gazing upon serenity of Yosemite Valley. I went to Glacier Point and uncorked my bottle of wine as I walked to the edge of the cliff. Without having to mediate, a blanket of calm came over me. God’s church was before me and with that, I could begin to breathe again. Faltering breaths, but they were deeper than any I had taken in days.”

Maybe not Nobel Prize winning prose, but I would say it is better than a description of how to park a car. It is the whole “show don’t tell” thing.

If you write about someone brushing their teeth because they threw up after a drinking binge, you don’t need to tell your reader that they took the cap off the tube of toothpaste, wet the toothbrush, put toothpaste on the toothbrush, brushed their teeth, spit the foam into the sink, and then dried off their mouth.

Maybe you should write:

“With three too many martinis under my belt and an unfortunate encounter with Julio, my head felt like lead and my teeth were wearing wool sweaters. After an intimate moment with my toilet while on my knees, I turned on the bathroom light. It seared my eyes like the searchlights at Alcatraz. When I groped for my toothbrush, every prescription bottle in my medicine cabinet flew like hail over my bathroom floor. I really needed to stop drinking and dump Julio, or whatever his name is.”

The point here is if your character drank too much on an evening out, we don’t need to know the color of her toothbrush. We need to know the color of Julio’s eyes. Use your words to tell us the juicy bits.

Is it just me, or do you want to know more about this Julio dude?

Half Dome

That is a view that can help calm a destroyed heart.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Strong vs Weak Words ~ Part 39 ~ The Order of the Story

11 Tuesday Dec 2012

Posted by robincoyle in Strong vs Weak Words

≈ 72 Comments

Tags

editing tips, Self-editing, Storytelling, Strong vs Weak Words, Strong Words, The Order of the Story, Weak Words, writers, writing, writing tips

As you might recall, I attended the Writer’s Digest Conference in Los Angeles in September. I learned a thing or two and felt all grown-up and writerly sitting among real writers.

Strong vs Weak

In one of the sessions, author Steven James spoke about the “Six Secrets to Novel Writing No One Ever Told You.” One of the secrets was the proper handling of cause and effect in your storytelling. Huh. Never thought about that.

Mr. James said, “Everything that happens in a story is caused by the thing that precedes it.” Huh, again.

His premise is you should tell your story in the order things happen. Why make your reader circle back, retrace their steps, and need breadcrumbs find their way back to the trail of the storyline.

Sure, there are places for a flashbacks and circular storytelling if you are so inclined. But that is a topic for someone smarter than moi to tackle.

It is better to propel the story forward, rather than explain what just happened. The difference is subtle, but there is a difference.

For example . . .

Instead of: Main character did yadda, yadda, yadda because something, something happened.

Try: Something, something happened so your character did yadda, yadda, yadda.

In many cases, it is simply a matter of switching the order of your sentence, or sentences, by using “so” or “and” rather than “because” and “when.”

Let’s see if I can make more sense here with some examples.

Charles Dickens squealed with delight when he discovered Robin’s blog.

Chuck squeals?

Charles Dickens discovered Robin’s blog and snorted in disgust.

~~~~~

William Shakespeare followed Robin’s blog because her words are riveting.

 Mr. Shakespeare is Robin’s biggest fan.

Robin writes nonsense so Billy-boy Shakespeare unfollowed her blog.

 ~~~~~

“You are one smart cookie,” Robin said to John Steinbeck when he praised Robin’s blog.

He must have been hitting the bottle.

When John Steinbeck wrote a scathing review of Robin’s blog, she said, “How could you be so cruel, John-John?”

~~~~~

How about a longer example in a non-Pulitzer-worthy paragraph form . . .

Robin put a shelf up for all the new awards she was sure would come her way because she wrote what she thought was brilliant blog post. She screamed in horror when there was a mass exodus of followers because of the drivel she wrote. Moments before, she was happy as a clam at high tide. Embarrassed, she took down her blog and faded into blogging oblivion. Robin’s post offended many bloggers.

In the above example, here is the order of what happened.

Put up a shelf
Wrote a blog post
Screamed
Mass exodus
Was happy
Quit blogging
Offended bloggers

Robin wrote what she thought was a brilliant blog post. She was happy as a clam at high tide and put up a shelf for all the new awards she was sure would come her way. But her drivel offended many bloggers and there was a mass exodus of followers from her blog. When she saw people leaving in droves, Robin screamed in horror. Embarrassed, Robin decided to give up the ghost.

In that example, the order is linear.

Wrote a blog post
Was happy
Put up a shelf
Offended bloggers
Mass exodus
Screamed
Quit blogging

See the difference?

For the record, I have 148 “because-s” in my novel. I’m off to see what I can do about that.

Don’t forget I put all of the Strong vs Weak Word posts under a link on the left sidebar in case you need a cure for insomnia.

Strong vs Weak Words ~ Part 33 ~ Tautologies

01 Saturday Sep 2012

Posted by robincoyle in In Search . . ., Strong vs Weak Words

≈ 73 Comments

Tags

editing, editing tips, Overused Words, Self-editing, Strong vs Weak Words, Strong Words, Weak Words, writers, writing, Writing Advice, writing tips

This isn’t a Strong vs Weak Words post. It is more like a “Why Use so Many Words?” post. We use these expressions every day, but the words are redundant. The writerly term for the phrases is “tautology.”

Sales tautology

If it is out of stock, we don’t have it! (Photo credit: quinn.anya)

According to Mr. Wick E. Pedia, a tautology is “using different words to say the same thing, or a series of self-reinforcing statements that cannot be disproved because they depend on the assumption that they are already correct.

Here are seven examples for you. I will share bunches more in future posts, but I can’t wait to see what you have to add. Comment here and I will do a post summarizing your “ack” phrases.

 

It takes a great amount of time to read Robin’s blog.

Why, why, why bother?

It takes time to read Robin’s blog. 

~~~~~

Each and every time I log-on to Robin’s blog, I learn something new. 

Robin Coyle? You are kidding, right?

 When I read Robin’s blog, I want to tear out my hair. 

~~~~~

It is a true fact Robin knows what she is talking about.

Amen, sister!

Robin doesn’t know what she is talking about.

~~~~~

The one and only blog I read is Robin’s.

Again, why waste your time?

One blog I avoid is Robin’s incessant blah, blah, blah, barf. 

~~~~~ 

Robin wore a dress green in color to her award ceremony.

She looks good in green. Matches her skin. 

Robin’s green dress was a fashion mistake. 

~~~~~ 

Robin approached the stage to accept her Pulitzer at a great rate of speed.

Is the nomination committee on drugs? 

Robin’s speed as she took the stage took out an old lady.

~~~~~

In my personal opinion, Robin is the best blogger on the planet. 

Are you on drugs?

My opinion? Robin can’t write her way out of a paper bag.

Is there any other kind of access?

Is there any other kind of access? (Photo credit: mikecogh)

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Strong vs Weak Words ~ Part 32 ~ Exclamation Points

29 Wednesday Aug 2012

Posted by robincoyle in In Search . . ., Strong vs Weak Words

≈ 71 Comments

Tags

Exclamation mark, Punctuation, writers, writing, Writing Advice, writing tips

I’ll admit it!!!! I love a good exclamation point!!!!

Oh, stop. Quit gasping in horror and disgust. You are so dramatic!!!!

English: Exclamation mark in the shape of hear...

Cute exclamation point!!!!(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I know, I know . . . exclamation points are overused and the words in the sentence should convey the excitement, humor, or other emotion, and not rely on the punctuation mark to do the job. Throwing in an exclamation point, or in newspaper terms, “screamers,” verges on melodrama. John R Trimble, who wrote Writing with Style, likens the exclamation point to an “applause sign,” I would add exclamation points are writing’s version of a sitcom laugh-track. They cheapen the writing.

As such, my WIP is devoid of the ubiquitous one-winking-eye devil. However, I liberally sprinkle exclamation points in my blog comments. I can’t help it.

Here are two great clips from Seinfeld showing Elaine’s love of the exclamation point.

How about you? Are you an exclamation point lover or hater?

Related articles
  • Too many exclamation points!!! (salon.com)
  • Settle down! 6 guidelines for using the exclamation point (prdaily.com)
  • Let’s Go Ahead and Declare It the Year of the Exclamation Point! (theatlanticwire.com)
  • The Point of Exclamation (opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com)
  • The history of the exclamation point… (blogs.smithsonianmag.com)
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Strong vs Weak Words ~ Part 31 ~ Look

14 Tuesday Aug 2012

Posted by robincoyle in In Search . . ., Strong vs Weak Words

≈ 66 Comments

Tags

editing, editing tips, Strong vs Weak Words, Strong Words, Weak Verbs, Weak Words, writers, writing, Writing Advice, writing tips

Ack! Vacation Interruptus

We were enjoying a lovely vacation day at the cabin yesterday until our neighbor called. Our house alarm was blasting.  The alarm is monitored, or so we thought, so I waited for a call from the alarm company who would then dispatch the Sheriff to check the house. No call, so I called them. They didn’t receive a signal that our alarm went off.

Long, boring story short, I hopped in the car and made the 1 1/2 hour drive home to see what the problem was. Today, I am waiting for the alarm company to come between the hours of 2:00 and 4:00. (Yeah, right. Service companies always say that, and then show up at 5:30.)

But . . . lucky for you, waiting for the alarm company gives me time to torture you with a Strong vs Weak Word post! You lucky, lucky people, you!

Now, don’t “look” at me that way. That’s not nice.

There are many ways to look AT someone/something. (A future post will take a “look” at looking FOR someone/something.)

The look in their eye said they would sell their soul for a morsel of Robin’s wisdom. 

Oh. Come. On.

The evil glint in their eye scared Robin off.

~~~~~

 I looked at Robin’s writing and vowed to emulate her style.

 My advice is to look elsewhere.

I tore apart Robin’s writing advice and realized it was all lies. Lies I tell you!

 ~~~~~

The agent looked at Robin like she was a stalker.

 Robin stalked me.

 The agent eyed Robin and decided to call the police.

~~~~~

 Robin looked stunned when they slapped the handcuffs on her.

I’m surprised. She knows the drill.

 Robin reeled and threw a right hook at the police officer.

 

Strong vs Weak Words ~ Part 30 ~ Put and Place

07 Tuesday Aug 2012

Posted by robincoyle in In Search . . ., Strong vs Weak Words

≈ 68 Comments

Tags

editing tips, Strong Verbs, Strong vs Weak Words, Strong Words, Weak Verbs, Weak Words, writers, writing, Writing Advice, writing tips

You all were thinking, “Phew, Robin stopped harping about Strong vs Weak Words. At last we can read something more interesting than eliminating the word ‘it.’  Thank GAWD Robin wised up and moved on to tell us about her daughter’s Army Basic Training experience.”

Not so!

I have more of Amanda’s letters to share with you but I thought I should mix things up a bit.

I discovered two new weak words. Drum roll please . . .

~ “Put” ~

~ and, “Put’s” cousin “Place” ~

Here we go . . .

I put my fingers in my ears to drown out Robin’s yammering. 

Have you tried earplugs? Better yet, try noise-canceling headphones.

Even with my fingers shoved in my ears, I could hear Robin’s incessant screeching.

English: Philips headphones

These are handy to have to block out Robin’s voice. Photo credit: Wikipedia

~~~~~

I put Robin’s manuscript in the garbage.

Whoa . . . that’s harsh. She meant well.

I read Robin’s manuscript and then shredded it to destroy the evidence.

~~~~~

Robin’s electrifying speech put me on the edge of my seat.

First she screeches, and then she’s electric?

Robin’s monotone delivery lulled me to sleep.

~~~~~

I put my purse on the chair next to Robin’s to save my place.

You know she has cooties, right?

I flung my purse at Robin to keep her from sitting next to me.

~~~~~

I placed Robin’s book on my nightstand and her words entered my brain in my sleep by osmosis.

When you say osmosis, do you mean nightmares?

Because Robin’s words haunted my dreams, I pitched her book out my bedroom window. It landed in my pigsty.

~~~~~

Robin placed a heartfelt thank you note in my mailbox.

She writes the BEST notes!

Robin kidnapped my pig and hurled a ransom note tied to a rock through my bedroom window.

Can you believe we are on Part 30?

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Strong vs Weak Words ~ Part 28 ~ So

31 Tuesday Jul 2012

Posted by robincoyle in In Search . . ., Strong vs Weak Words

≈ 84 Comments

Tags

editing, editing tips, Overused Words, Overusing the Word So, Strong vs Weak Words, Strong Words, Weak Words, writers, writing, Writing Advice, writing tips

Image Courtesy of Freedigitalphotos.com

Today’s word to think about is “so.” Not “so” as an intensifier as in, “Robin is soooooooo smart,” but when used as a transition. “So” isn’t altogether evil, but if used too often, “so” sounds like a crutch. Maybe a semicolon is better. Maybe an “and” irons out the wrinkles. Maybe the sentence needs to be two sentences.

I had 109 “so-s” and reduced the number today to 50. The result? Literary magic! Well, not magic exactly, but better writing. Let’s explore this idea.

 Robin’s blog is humorous, so she must be a smart cookie.

 Oh gosh! She makes me laugh too.

Robin’s blog is humorous; she must be a plagiarist.

 ~~~~~

Robin has many readers, so she can’t respond to all the comments.

 She ignores me too.

Robin has few readers and appreciates the one comment she gets per day.

 ~~~~~

 I read every word of Robin’s blog so I don’t make a fool of myself when I praise her profound writing advice.

 Profound writing what………..?!?

 Not wanting to make a fool of Robin, I refuse to comment on her blog.

~~~~~

Robin didn’t know I un-followed her, so please keep my secret to yourself.

Shhhhhh.  I un-followed her too!

 Robin doesn’t know I un-followed her. If you tell her, she is likely to hurt me. 

~~~~~

 Robin is testy, so commenting on her blog makes me uncomfortable.

 She is scary!

 Robin barked at me when she replied to my comment. I was afraid for my safety.

~~~~~

 Robin leaned against the bar at the writer’s conference so I made my way across the room to say hello.

 You can always find Robin at the bar.

 I spotted Robin across the room and headed for the exit before she saw me.

 ~~~~~

 If I could afford the extravagance to do so, I would send Robin flowers every week. 

You do know her favorite flower is an expensive rare orchid from South America, right? 

If I could afford the extravagance, I would hire a bodyguard to protect me from Robin’s wrath.

So . . . what say you?

Strong vs Weak Words ~ Part 27 ~ Tell

28 Saturday Jul 2012

Posted by robincoyle in In Search . . ., Strong vs Weak Words

≈ 29 Comments

Tags

editing, Overused Words, Self-editing, Strong vs Weak Words, Strong Words, Weak Words, writers, writing, Writing Advice, writing tips

A signpost for us all.
Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Related (sort of) to “told” is “tell.”

We want to write so that we “show, not tell,” right? One easy step in following that sage writing advice is, in small part, to rid our manuscripts of the word “tell.” Not using the word “tell” doesn’t make the writing Pulitzer-worthy and paint pictures in the reader’s mind, but it takes it up a notch.

Do these examples “tell” you what I mean?

I could tell Robin blushed when I complimented her writing style.

Are you talking about Robin Coyle?

 Robin face turned an unbecoming shade of purple when I suggested she take a writing class.

~~~~~

I wanted to tell Robin about a great blog post idea.

 Please, no! Don’t give her more material!

 I shared a blog post idea with Robin. She pooh-poohed the suggestion and wrote about strong vs weak words. Gawd. Not again.

~~~~~

 The urge to tell her more blog post ideas came over me.

 Really. I mean it. Don’t feed her blogging obsession.

The urge to give her more blog post ideas was squashed when my fellow bloggers threatened my life.

 ~~~~~

 Robin wouldn’t tell us what she planned to blog about next.

Isn’t that cheeky of her.

 Robin wouldn’t divulge her plans for torturing us further.

Strong vs Weak Words ~ Part 26 ~ Told

26 Thursday Jul 2012

Posted by robincoyle in In Search . . ., Strong vs Weak Words

≈ 48 Comments

Tags

editing tips, Overused Words, Self-editing, Strong vs Weak Words, Strong Words, Weak Words, writers, writing, Writing Advice, writing tips

Hi folks! I’m back from four lovely days with the beautiful Pam. Did you enjoy the break from me? Well, brace yourself for another post in the Strong vs Weak Word series.

The Beautiful Pam

“Told” is another flat word. My novel is in the first person. Much (not all) of the dialog is narrated, meaning without quotation marks. So therefore, “told” might not be a problem for you. It was for me.

I examined the “tolds” and converted some of the narrated dialog into “he saids” and she saids.” However, not all.

“Told” jumps out at you and slaps you across the face. But “told” can also be stated as screamed, whispered, or ranted. Or simply as “said.”

Again, the difference is subtle. Losing “told” also gets rid of an unneeded pronoun. Let’s see if I can make sense of this with some examples.

Robin jumped for joy when I told her I made a pitcher of martinis.

Gin or vodka?

When Robin learned I was pouring martinis, she ran three stoplights driving to my house.

 ~~~~~

Robin kicked down my door and I told her I would call the police.

Smart girl!

I found my can of mace and warned Robin I have the police on speed dial.

~~~~~

She snorted when I told her I was serious about calling the cops.

 Robin is like that when she wants a martini.

Robin threw a water balloon at me when I said the cops were on their way.

~~~~~

The single tear on Robin’s cheek told me she was at the breaking point.

 What a basket case!

 The single tear on Robin’s cheek let me know I better pour her a drink.

~~~~

Robin’s empty martini glass.
Free image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I told Robin she needs rehab. 

Phew. She does need it.

I outlined the benefits of rehab while the intervention group filed in.

 ~~~~~

When Robin refused to leave, I told her she was obstinate.

 I bet that didn’t go well.

Robin handcuffed herself to the table and I called her an obstinate fool.

~~~~~

Robin growled at me when I told her she needed to leave.

 Someone needed to say it. Better you than me.

 Robin growled at me when I dragged her and the table out the door.

Sorry for the numerous examples, but there are many ways to say “told.”

Also, note the legal use of the martini glass photo!

Strong vs Weak Words ~ Part 25 ~ There

20 Friday Jul 2012

Posted by robincoyle in In Search . . ., Strong vs Weak Words

≈ 45 Comments

Tags

editing, editing tips, Overused Words, Self-editing, Strong vs Weak Words, Strong Words, Weak Words, writers, writing, Writing Advice, writing tips

Doing a blog post today seems irreverent. The senseless massacre in Colorado is painful and our nation mourns. Understanding what would drive a person to kill and injure dozens of innocent movie-goers is not possible. I would like to say to the families and friends of the victims, I am so sorry. We grieve with you.

I wrote this post yesterday and in trying to decide if I was going to publish today or not, the graphic below spoke to me, and is somehow appropriate for soothing the pain from the tragedy. With that, here is today’s Strong vs Weak Word post.

Remember our discussion on the cheeky little word “it?” As a refresher, we fall back on the word “it” to avoid using what “it” is again in the same sentence, or one nearby.

Akin to “it” is “there.”

I stop there so often, the bartender knows my name.

I love a good cocktail too.

 The bartender knows my name because I drink exotic cocktails for hours and creep out of the bar without leaving a tip.

~~~~~ 

I found a new restaurant and drink there every night.

Have you considered Alcoholics Anonymous?

I found a new restaurant and the owner kicks me out of the bar every night. 

~~~~~

 I heard a voice in the room but when I looked over my shoulder, no one was there.

That’s the gin talking.

I heard a voice and I spun around on my barstool, but the room was empty.

 ~~~~~

There was room for me at the bar and he patted the barstool next to him.

 The letch.

The barstool was vacant but he refused to let me sit next to him.

P.S. The last two examples use the verb “to be” with the “there.” The issue may warrant its own post! Let me know if you’d like one.

Strong vs Weak Word ~ Part 24 ~ Then

18 Wednesday Jul 2012

Posted by robincoyle in In Search . . ., Strong vs Weak Words

≈ 64 Comments

Tags

editing, editing tips, Overused Words, Self-editing, Strong vs Weak Words, Strong Words, Weak Words, writers, writing, Writing Advice, writing tips

“Then” was brought to my attention by SubtleKate. Best wishes to Kate as she is having surgery on Friday.

My characters did this. Then my characters did that. I reduced 69 “then-s” to 28. I should give the remaining 28 a second look. If you describe what happens next in the story, the “then” is implied. Let’s take a look.

I joined Sir Paul’s fan club, wire tapped his phone, and then stalked his dog-walker.

Why the dog-walker, not Paul?

I joined Sir Paul’s fan club and wire tapped his phone. The police arrested me when I stalked his dog-walker.

~~~~~

Paul hired me as a housekeeper and then I devised a plan to steal his gold records.

Dastardly of you.

Paul hired me as a housekeeper, which gave me the opportunity to steal his gold albums.

 ~~~~~

I gushed over Paul during the interview and then censored myself for sounding like a groupie.

 I would gush too.

I gushed over Paul during the interview until he rang for his army of bodyguards.

 ~~~~~ 

I planned my escape route from the mansion, ran it by James Bond, and then made off with Paul’s gold records.

You know James Bond?

I planned my escape route from the mansion, ran it by James Bond over martinis, and was arrested for stealing Paul’s gold records.

~~~~~ 

Until then, I wasn’t afraid of Paul’s bodyguards.

 You should have been. I’ve seen ’em.

Until I saw their guns, I thought I could sweet-talk Paul’s bodyguards into letting me keep the records.

Strong vs Weak Words ~ Part 23 ~ Wasn’t and Isn’t

15 Sunday Jul 2012

Posted by robincoyle in In Search . . ., Strong vs Weak Words

≈ 61 Comments

Tags

Strong Verbs, Strong vs Weak Words, Strong Words, Weak Verbs, Weak Words, writers, writing, Writing Advice, writing tips

We learned about telling our readers what happened instead of what “didn’t” happen here. Related to “didn’t” is “wasn’t” and ”isn’t.” Again, when I read the words “wasn’t” and “isn’t” in my WIP, I asked myself if it “wasn’t” something, then what the heck WAS it? Let’s explore this idea.

My day isn’t complete until I read Robin’s blog.

Do you have a life? 

My day was incomplete after reading Robin’s blog.

 ~~~~~

I wasn’t happy when Robin didn’t follow my blog.

 She didn’t follow mine either.

My blood pressure rose to dangerous heights when Robin failed to follow my blog even after I liked, commented, liked, commented, liked, and endlessly commented on her asinine blog.

 ~~~~~

She isn’t my favorite blogger but I read a few of Robin’s posts placate her need for attention.

Gosh, Robin is annoying.

 My favorite blogger was Robin Coyle until she went on ad nausuem about strong vs weak words. Geez Louise, give it a rest Robin.

 

Strong vs Weak Words ~ Part 22 ~ Would Have

13 Friday Jul 2012

Posted by robincoyle in In Search . . ., Strong vs Weak Words

≈ 45 Comments

Tags

Overused Words, Self-editing, Strong vs Weak Words, Strong Words, Weak Verbs, Weak Words, writers, Writers Resources, writing, Writing Advice, writing tips

Would have. Geez Louise. That is all I will say as an intro. Read on.

Robin would suggest ways to improve my writing and I hung on her every word.

 Why? Gosh . . .  get a grip.

Robin suggested ways to improve my writing but I ignored her.

~~~~~

He would bring Robin flowers to weasel more writing tips out of her.

The letch.

He brought Robin flowers and she threw her blog posts into his awaiting arms.

~~~~~

Robin would blush when her readers sent her flowers.

Dead black roses?

Robin blushed when her readers called the grammar police.

~~~~~ 

He would leave me love notes in the comment section of my blog.

Such a romantic fool.

 He left me hate mail in the comment section so I changed my identity.

I am now Paris Hilton.

How awful is this?

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Strong vs Weak Words ~ Part 20 ~ They

09 Monday Jul 2012

Posted by robincoyle in In Search . . ., Strong vs Weak Words

≈ 35 Comments

Tags

editing, editing tips, Self-editing, Strong vs Weak Words, Strong Words, Weak Words, writers, writing, Writing Advice, writing tips

You knew it was coming. The dreaded word “they” is related to “it” and “them.” If you missed those posts click here and here.

“Them” is a nice enough word, and because it is so nice, I invited “them” to over-stay their welcome in my WIP. “They” blend into the wallpaper, but when you give them a name badge and a cocktail, “they” become the life of the party.

Here we go . . .

She writes lovely comments on my blog but under the surface I can tell they are pandering. 

She just wants you to follow her back.

She makes innocuous comments on my blog, but under the surface her words are judgmental and mean-spirited.

~~~~~ 

I hired a team to make nice comments on my blog and they did an excellent job.

You can hire someone to do that? What is their number?

 The team I hired to make comments on my blog turned into an angry mob so I contacted my lawyer about a restraining order.

~~~~~ 

My readers were polite in their comments, but they covertly envied my success as a blogger.

 I have comment-envy too.

My readers made nasty comments on my blog, but my feelings were not hurt because bloggers are a jealous lot.

Wow! Can you believe we are on Part 20 of the Strong vs Weak Word Series? I can’t.

Strong vs Weak Words ~ Part 19 ~ Them

06 Friday Jul 2012

Posted by robincoyle in In Search . . ., Strong vs Weak Words

≈ 50 Comments

Tags

editing, editing tips, Overused Words, Self-editing, Strong vs Weak Words, Strong Words, Weak Words, writers, writing, Writing Advice, writing tips

I wrote about my discovery of my overuse/reliance on the word “it” here. I shed bitter tears while editing out about a million “its.” A new revelation was my overuse-run-it-into-the ground reliance on “its” evil twin “them.”

As with “it,” every time I read a “them,” I asked myself, “who/what is the them?”

I own 462 purses and my husband loves me because I store them on his side of the closet. 

He is more understanding than my husband.

 I own 462 purses and my husband is ready to divorce me because I store my collection on his side of the house.

~~~~~

I hide my jagged cuticles and chipped nail polish from my mother-in-law because she makes fun of them.

Do we have the same mother-in-law?

I hide my nails from my mother-in-law because she makes fun of my obsession with daily manicures.

 ~~~~~

 I have many followers and I keep them engaged by writing insightful blog posts.

 We must have the same followers!

I had many followers but I lose 20 readers every day because I write nothing but drivel.

Strong vs Weak Words ~ Part 18 ~ Take and Took

02 Monday Jul 2012

Posted by robincoyle in In Search . . ., Strong vs Weak Words

≈ 44 Comments

Tags

Self-editing, Strong vs Weak Words, Strong Words, Weak Verbs, Weak Words, writers, writing, Writing Advice, writing tips

“Took” and “take” are two more innocuous words that pop-up while we aren’t looking.

http://www.cbc.ca/news/arts/film/story/2008/05/29/f-sex-and-the-city-review.html

Sentences with “took” and “take” are fine, grammatically correct, and readable, but look what happens when you reword the sentences.

Robin took the time to show me how to use strong words.

 Isn’t she generous with her wisdom?

Robin showed me she knows what she is talking about.

 ~~~~~

I took one look at Robin’s post about strong words and knew I found a winner.

Have you been drinking?

I looked at Robin’s post about strong words and un-followed her.

~~~~~

She took editing tips and wove them into interesting posts.

Scotch at ten in the morning?

She wove editing tips into tedious posts.

~~~~~

Robin’s talent takes me by surprise.

 Or is it gin? Gin makes you crazy, you know.

Robin’s ineptitude surprises me.

 ~~~~~ 

Don’t take the blame for weak writing.

Aw, come now . . . your writing isn’t weak.

 Don’t blame yourself for weak writing. Blame Robin’s advice.

 ~~~~~ 

I decided to take on the job of writing Robin’s Strong vs Weak

Word series.

Phew.

 I decided to write Robin’s entire blog.

http://crazedairflow.tumblr.com/

Ahem . . . Shouldn’t that be, “Run like you stole something?”

P. S. A huge thank you for your kind wishes on yesterday’s post for my daughter’s safety in the Army. Your comments are making today much easier. 

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Strong vs Weak Words ~ Part 17 ~ Past Tense of the Verb To Be

28 Thursday Jun 2012

Posted by robincoyle in In Search . . ., Strong vs Weak Words

≈ 34 Comments

Tags

Avoid the verb To Be, editing, Overused Words, Self-editing, Strong Verbs, Strong vs Weak Words, Strong Words, Weak Verbs, Weak Words, writers, writing, Writing Advice, writing tips

http://frans3xy.tumblr.com

Yesterday we looked at ways to avoid using the present tense of the verb “to be.” Today, let’s reflect on the past. The past tense of “to be,” that is.

I know, I know . . . you all know the forms of the past tense of “to be,” but here you go anyway:

I was

We were

You were

He was

She was

It was

They were

Who was

I was sitting at my computer waiting for inspiration to hit. 

Same thing happens to me.

 While I stared at my blank computer screen, my fickle mistress Madame Inspiration, was on a date with someone else.

 ~~~~~

When we were finished reading Robin’s manuscript, our book group banned her for life.

Aw . . . how sad.

We read Robin’s manuscript and sent it to Mr. Pulitzer for consideration for next year’s prize.

 ~~~~~

 She was surprised when she received a rejection notice from Mr. Pulitzer

 Really? Is she delusional?

Robin framed the rejection notice from Mr. Pulitzer because he was kind enough to add a handwritten note at the bottom that said, “Your novel would make good kindling.” 

~~~~~ 

It was a shock to Robin when she realized he meant her novel would make good kindling to start a fire, not that the book is Kindle-worthy.

No need for lighter fluid!

Robin smashed the framed rejection letter when she realized he dissed her, not complimented her.

  Sorry!

Strong vs Weak Words ~ Part 16 ~ Present Tense of To Be

27 Wednesday Jun 2012

Posted by robincoyle in In Search . . ., Strong vs Weak Words

≈ 43 Comments

Tags

books, Overused Words, Strong vs Weak Words, Strong Words, Weak Verbs, Weak Words, writers, writing, Writing Advice, writing tips

“One of the most common stylistic mistakes aspiring writers make is to rely too much on the verb “to be.” ~ EssayForum.com

I wonder what Mr. Shakespeare would say. Isn’t his oft quote soliloquy, “To be, or not to be?”

When I read EssayForum.com’s page on avoiding the verb “to be,” I thought uh-oh. I dashed to my computer to do a quick search, and GUILTY AS CHARGED YOUR HONOR!

But how to fix this “common stylist mistake” was a puzzle. I couldn’t put my hands on concrete ways to avoid the verb “to be,” but found many sites and books with admonitions to keep away from the verb like it is an outbreak of e coli.

You will be getting some tips on the present tense of “to be” today, and the past tense form in the near future. I know you know this, but as a refresher on our new enemy “to be” in the present tense:

I am and I’m

He is and He’s

She is and She’s

It is and It’s

We are and We’re

They are and They’re

You are and You’re

~~~~~

I am making every effort to write well. 

Good for you!

I make every effort to write just like Robin.

~~~~~

He feels Robin’s presence when he is writing.

Like a poltergeist? 

Robin’s annoying voice rings in his head when he writes.

~~~~~

It is odd how often Robin edits her manuscript

Maybe the book is really bad.

Robin edits her manuscript freakishly often.

~~~~~

We are hoping Robin shares more tips on how to use strong vs. weak words.

 Ask, and ye shall receive!

We hope Robin changes the theme of her posts to underwater basket weaving.

Strong vs Weak Words ~ Part 15 ~ Starting To and Beginning To

24 Sunday Jun 2012

Posted by robincoyle in In Search . . ., Strong vs Weak Words

≈ 41 Comments

Tags

Strong Verbs, Strong vs Weak Words, Strong Words, Weak Verbs, Weak Words, writers, writing, Writing Advice, writing tips

Disney Start Line

Carrie Rubin over at The Write Transition gave me the idea for this post. Her comment on my post about the word “didn’t” was (in part),

“I have a lot of “started to”s as well. “Her hands started to shake;” “he started to wonder;” that kind of thing. So I’m eliminating many of those, making it “Her hands shook,” etc.

An evil cousin of “started/ing to” is “began/beginning to.”

Let’s look at some examples:

I am starting to be a strong writer.

Yeah, right.

Robin’s wise advice guides me as I make my writing stronger. 

~~~~~

I started writing every word Robin utters. 

Why don’t you read her blog instead?

I write Robin’s advice in my journal and refer to the tips when I edit my manuscript. 

~~~~~

I began to stalk Robin in the hopes she would follow my blog.

There are laws against that Mr. Creepo.

I stalked Robin until she feared for her safety and finally agreed to follow my blog.

 ~~~~~

 Robin is beginning to think I am crazy.

 Ya think?

Robin thinks I am crazy and she reported me the Grammar Police.

 Thanks for idea Carrie!

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Strong vs Weak Words – Part 13 ~ It

11 Monday Jun 2012

Posted by robincoyle in In Search . . ., Strong vs Weak Words

≈ 64 Comments

Tags

Overuse of the word it, Overused Words, Self-editing, Strong vs Weak Words, Strong Words, Weak Words, writers, writing, Writing Advice, writing tips

Thanks to Jennifer Eaton’s blog, I discovered the most vile word in the English language.  In my comment on her post, I said, “I hate you, in the nicest possible way,” for pointing out the word.

You thought you hated me before, but wait until you get a load of this.

How could a two-letter word destroy a writer in one afternoon? Here’s how. I found 539 of the cheeky buggers in my manuscript. 539!!! I kid you not. So far, I edited out 64 of the offending words and I’m only on page 52. The result? The writing is stronger.

I know you are all dancing on your toes and asking, “What is it? What is it?”

You answered the question yourself. The bloody word it “IT.”

How could “IT” be so bad? Let me explain. When we reference something in our writing, say a purse, we are loath to use the word again in the same sentence, or one following closely behind. For example:

I put my purse on my shoulder and IT made my neck hurt.

We avoid writing the word purse twice so we use the word “it.” But the “it” can be referred to in other ways.

When I put my heavy purse on my shoulder, the strap dug into my neck.”

Or,

I put my purse on my shoulder and the weight sent a sharp pang up my neck.

Or,

When I walked out of the pub, the weight of my purse caused me to hold my neck at a weird angle. My husband said I looked tipsy.

Get “it?”  I mean ~ Do you understand what I mean? When you read the word “IT,” ask yourself, “What is the “IT?”

Here is an example from my manuscript:

Original copy:

The funeral ended with “Somewhere Over the Rainbow.” To this day, the song gives me chills. If you listen intently to the words you will know what I mean. IT is sad and soothing at the same time.

Revised copy:

The funeral ended with “Somewhere Over the Rainbow.” To this day, the song gives me chills. If you listen intently to the words you will know what I mean. The lyrics are sad, but soothing.

Of course you can’t, nor shouldn’t, get rid of every “it.” It serves a purpose. And, you don’t want to go overboard and sound silly:

I put my purse on my shoulder. I carry my wallet and lipstick in a device with a history dates back to biblical times.

When you do “Seek and Destroy” to look for “it,” don’t forget that “it” can hide as “it,” it.” and “it’s”

~Our former friend Cousin Itt

For advice on other words that sneak into your writing, clink on the links below:

▪    I Have a Problem with “That”

▪    Sneaky Little Words for the word GOT

▪    Strong vs Weak Words for the word WENT

▪    Strong vs Weak Words – Part 2 for the word PEOPLE

▪    Strong vs Weak Words – Part 3 for the words THING and STUFF

▪    Strong vs Weak Words – Part 4 for the words GO and GOING

▪    Strong vs Weak Words – Part 5 for the words ALWAYS and NEVER

▪    Strong vs Weak Words – Part 6 for the words PRETTY, SURE, and CERTAIN

▪    Strong vs Weak Words – Part 7 for the word HAD and HAVE

▪    Strong vs Weak Words – Part 8 for the word JUST

▪    Strong vs Weak Words – Part 9 for the word ALL

▪    Strong vs Weak Words – Part 10 for INDEFINITE NUMBERS

▪    Strong vs Weak Words – Part 11 for the word USE

  • Strong vs Weak Words – Part 12 for the word CAN

Moldy Verbs, Adverbs, and Intensifiers

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