Heads up to all my single friends out there. Want to find your soul mate in time for Valentine’s Day? Not sure how to be a babe- or bro-magnet? No need to head to the gym to sculpt your abs. Never mind surfing singles bars or Internet dating sites under an assumed name. Big wasters of timers.
Here is the only thing you need to do. You can thank me later . . .
Take a grammar class. And yes, members of the opposite (or same, if you prefer) sex will flock to your doorstep. I kid you not.
A survey commissioned by Match.com showed that 55% of men and 69% of women judge a potential love-bug on their grammar. You can read the article if you don’t believe me.
After you take that grammar class, you might want to stop by the dentist for teeth whitening, braces, or dentures. The most important factor in the evaluation of a future baby-making partner is their teeth . . . 58% of men and 71% of women love them pearly-whites.
Good grammar and good teeth. Maybe they surveyed only dentists and writers. Or dentists who want to be writers. Or writers who want to be dentists.
I have my share of grammar pet peeves (here and here) and irregardless of what you might think, I am not a grammar snob. (I used “irregardless” here to see how many of you scream. There, their, they’re. I won’t do it again.)
Here is a sign of the times . . . 9% of men and 10% of women judge a prospective bedfellow by the electronic device they carry. Oh please. Really? Character, smoking-hot body, and whether they call their mother on Sunday matter not. Whip an iPad Mini out of your pocket and the world is your oyster.
Remember Sunday’s Super Bowl ad for Go Daddy where the geek scores with the sexy chickadee? It was because he had a beta version of the iPhone 6 in his pants. I can hear all my male readers saying, “Whoa. Where can I get one of those?”
Robin Coyle 
Excellent! I guess I need a grammar class.
Apparently it will help with the smooth reentry into the dating scene.
For people who are law-abiding, I judge them based on whether or not they smoke.
Good to draw the line somewhere.
Nice post, Robin! I cringed when you used “irregardless”. LOL. Good one.
I know . . . I cringed when I wrote it!
Gosh, wish I had this info before I got married. Might have saved me some trouble. 😉 Just kidding.
Aren’t you glad you aren’t on the dating circuit?
I am really annoyed when news reporters and others on tv use singular nouns followed by plural verbs, eg “the family have…” grrrrr
That bugs me too. Do you find yourself yelling at the TV like I do?
Often! I am always saying to my husband I could make my fortune editing all the news reports before they go out. The other thing is the information boards for tourists. Nearly every one I have seen has either grammatical, punctuation or spelling errors, or a combination. I should be the person who edits them….I’d be rich if I got a dollar for every error I found!
Well, then. You have yourself a new career.
All I have to do now is advertise my services!
You’re one helpful, generous, beautiful writer/blogger, Robin!
Nice job!
Did it hurt a little to post that video?
It hurt a lot. Gosh, I hate that ad. How did the debate go with your co-workers? For or against?
Haha, I can see why the people on dating sites could use a little help with their grammar. I can personally add that a spelling class is in order too!
Yup . . . spelling is up there too on the sexy-meter.
I think this quite ironic since most people’s grammar and spelling is atrocious and they don’t even realize it. So why would they want to take a class for that? I’d prefer a guy who takes a cooking class so he can cook me dinner every night!
Now you are talking!
Intriguing… the G.O.’s grammar is acceptable, although the may get a little mixed up and use a ‘sounds-like’ word if he’s not paying attention. I previously touched on his sometimes mispronounciation of words… in my comment about ’emu’. Teeth, well, not so good but neither are mine fantastic. He has nice feet… I think I’m at an age and we’re at a stage after all these years that appearances matter less than the kind of people we are but yucky feet might have been a deal breaker.
I think you should go the whole franchise – Strong vs Weak Words, Grammar Makes You Sexy t-shirts, bumper stickers… there’s a whole empire waiting for you to create it 🙂
I agree! Nasty feet are a deal breaker. I am still mystified that emu can be pronounced any other way than E-MOO. But I guess that is part of G.O.’s charm.
Shall I put you down for one or two “Grammar Makes You Sexy” t-shirts? I need to start building my empire somewhere!
I like to think I am on the grammar police force. There, they’re and their used incorrectly IRK me (am I yelling? Sorry, can’t help it.) Yep, white teeth and good grammar do it for me.
Your and you’re mix ups IRK me too. (Yes, I am yelling. You can yell here anytime.)
Ditto on hating that commercial. It sends wrong signals on so many levels. We don’t have a TV, so when we are suddenly exposed to the selling of products through sex, alcohol, or humiliation, it is especially jarring. Our family went to a restaurant to see a portion of the Superbowl. I cringed as I watched my 9-yr-old son absorb these cultural lessons, and I did my best to explain why many of them were inappropriate. But I felt like I was swimming upstream as the crowd surrounding us cheered the commercials wildly.
As far as grammar goes, what’s between the ears has always been the greatest aphrodisiac. My husband is a grammar stickler and demands the same of his employees. I am a grammar stickler, too. And our son often points out the errors in everything he reads, especially if it’s something the teacher has distributed to the class. :o) Annoying, eh?
The Go Daddy commercial felt like bullying to me for some reason. It was as if they were saying, “You are not worthy of a beautiful woman, you low life geek.”
We are sticklers about grammar with our girls. We all look at each other with sidelong glances when someone says, “Where do you live at?” Ouch. Sounds like your son has a good eye . . .
I can hear my husband’s comments now – about my comments on his grammar.
I take it he is not the master of good grammar? How did he weasel his way to your heart?
He is terrible with both grammar and spelling. His eyes and smile and great handyman skills did it for me. 😉
So like the survey said, good teeth are important!
Do pacemakers,hearing aids and a police ankle bracelet count as electronic devices?
If so, then I’m too sexy for good grammar.
You sexy thing, you. You had me at police ankle bracelet.
Grammar? Don’t need no stinkin’ grammar!
I can’t believe I made a grammar error in my comment. I fixed it tout suite!
Good grammar is a rare thing on online dating sites. And no one seems to appreciate it when you correct the offenders.
People are funny that way.
Poor grammar would turn me off actually, you can get the impression that people are of lower intelligence when their grammar is bad. It may be an unfair judgement but it’s one that gets made!
Hmm, the kissing went on a bit too long on the ad didn’t it! A gentle tender peck might have been nicer, but I guess they wanted to shock a bit to make it memorable.
The ad certainly didn’t make my want to use Go Daddy’s services. You are right . . . I think a sweet (short) kiss would have been touching and more effective.
Pingback: Throwing Out Grammar | Brittany Buckner
Why didn’t that ad come with a warning? It gave me PTSD.
Seriously. The image is burned in my mind. I guess that is what Go Daddy was going for, but it doesn’t make me what to use their services.
Hmm, well, hubs does have good grammar and teeth, so maybe they’re right about those things. 😉 I’m with the folks who say TURN OFF the high-tech toys when you’re out on the town, and not just because you’re on a date. It’s just plain considerate of the people sitting near you!
I agree. It annoys me when people talk on their phone in restaurants. So rude to their dinner partners and it is like they WANT me to hear their conversation. “Ooh . . . look at me . . . I’m so important . . . I’m on the phone . . .”
The title alone is hilarious!
I crack myself up.
grate post
Ain’t it?
indubitably
You’ve hit the target with grammar. Solid vocabulary helps, too ( but don’t go nutsy and too elevated just have a good command of accurate language – that’s getting rare).
Hmmm, gotten lazy with the white teeth thing – but that’s true, too – yellow teeth add age, too.
Everyone I know asked why they didn’t switch Danika with the blond – they said that would have made it interesting. Pretty dumb commercial – but it’s Go Daddy – founder is a tad sleazy.
That is the word for the ad I was searching for . . . sleazy! Remind me to NOT use Go Daddy’s services.
I absolutely love a man with exemplary grammar. Intelligence does it for me, and you all have accents to me. 🙂
Kate! How the heck are you? I miss you! I popped over to your blog to see if you posted lately and I missed it. I hope you are well.
So I guess you find all of us with accents sexy?
You’re all sexy to me. I am in that post radiation funk, Robin. I am exhausted beyond anything I have ever know and just getting up to go to the bathroom has me fatigued. I know it will pass but wow it’s hard. I miss you too.
Can they give you anything to help with the fatigue? I say give in to the fatigue and lay around like a princess. Demand to be waited on and treated like royalty.
LOL Bring me my tea. I am laying around and sure to feel more zip any time now.
Princess Kate, I shall deliver your tea promptly.
Perhaps, you meant “Grandma” makes you sexy? If grammar makes you sexy, I should be … well, important!
Scott
And important you are!
🙂
I always check out a guy’s ‘grammar’ before I date him! Nice teeth? Agree with that one. I don’t understand the ‘electronic device’ thing. I prefer none so we can have a ‘real’ conversation.
I’m heading over now to read all about this survey (if I can stop giggling!) 😉
So when you check out a guy’s grammar before a date, do you give him a written exam? Wouldn’t that be funny. “Here, before I date you, you have 30 minutes to complete this test.”
LOL! How did you know? 😀
I’m psychic. Or psychotic. Not sure which.
I screamed about “irregardless.” You had me worried there for a moment.
Would agree that proper grammar is sexy. It’s an English Lit major thing.
I like to keep you on the edge of your seat.
Very effective.
‘irregardless’ aaaarrrrgggghhhh …
Well, someone had to!
Yeah! One scream!
HATED that commercial . . . but it was memorable! Hubs has horrible grammar skilz, but his vocabulary is big, and that’s where the size mattered for me;-) Another great post!!
I hated it too. It made me uncomfortable and it felt like they were making fun of guy.
So your husband has big vocabulary in his pants, eh?
Robin, you need to make a t-shirt with the slogan in your post, and another one with your post header, “Good grammar makes you sexy.” in fact, I’ll place the first order right now.
When I was on Match.com, I weeded out anyone who couldn’t spell or compose a sentence correctly. And I was STUNNED at the number of people who live here and yet still spell it “Manhatten.” Fortunately, when I met Mr. Weebles on Match.com, his profile was impeccable. But that’s because he’s an editor too. It was love at first read.
Brilliant idea. I can do a whole line . . . t-shirts, bumper stickers, coffee mugs, mouse pads, etc. Fame and fortune will come my way. Or maybe $1.95 . . . I’m not sure which.
When you say “he’s an editor too,” does that mean YOU are an editor? Ain’t the Internet grand? Oops . . . isn’t the Internet grand?
You betcha! Editing and writing for 20+ years, among other things. Mr. Weebles is still one of the few people I know who understands the proper use of the en dash, and gets why I’m always so excited when someone uses a semicolon correctly. It’s not a fancy comma, people!!!
Oh great. You are an editor? Great. Stop following this blog.
I will NOT.
Fine. Then you must edit my every post before I publish it.
😀 Ohhhh, relax, you’re doing just fine without my help!
Not; hardly. How is that for semicolon use?
😀
Me married so me no needs grammar.
Me no need grammar two. Or spelling, apparently.
Somehow I think your other half would be appalled if you didn’t have good grammar, buddy.
Ahem. Yes. You are correct.
I saw the results of the survey in the paper this morning. Made me laugh. It always comes back to the teeth and the ‘ain’t’s.
I was surprised body and attractiveness weren’t on the list. But accent was?
Yeah, I’m not sure why the survey’s creator didn’t include those. Maybe he/she took those as a given and wanted to see how these other traits ranked.
Good point.
Agreed. I hated the commercial, too.
I think there’s something to that potential mate-good grammar-good teeth thing. I’m just glad that when I was dating, I didn’t have to judge potential mates by their grammar… I’m not sure I would be married today. ; )
I take it your husband uses poor grammar?
I hated that commerical. So inappropriate but that is my super uptight conservative New England soul speaking to you. I need a grammar class.
I hated the commercial too. It made me uncomfortable.
Fab! I need to scrub up on my grammar skills! 🙂
But you already found your soul mate!