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Grammar

Heads up to all my single friends out there. Want to find your soul mate in time for Valentine’s Day? Not sure how to be a babe- or bro-magnet? No need to head to the gym to sculpt your abs. Never mind surfing singles bars or Internet dating sites under an assumed name. Big wasters of timers.

Here is the only thing you need to do. You can thank me later . . .

Take a grammar class. And yes, members of the opposite (or same, if you prefer) sex will flock to your doorstep. I kid you not.

A survey commissioned by Match.com showed that 55% of men and 69% of women judge a potential love-bug on their grammar. You can read the article if you don’t believe me.

After you take that grammar class, you might want to stop by the dentist for teeth whitening, braces, or dentures. The most important factor in the evaluation of a future baby-making partner is their teeth . . . 58% of men and 71% of women love them pearly-whites.

Good grammar and good teeth. Maybe they surveyed only dentists and writers. Or dentists who want to be writers. Or writers who want to be dentists.

I have my share of grammar pet peeves (here and here) and irregardless of what you might think, I am not a grammar snob. (I used “irregardless” here to see how many of you scream. There, their, they’re. I won’t do it again.)

Here is a sign of the times . . . 9% of men and 10% of women judge a prospective bedfellow by the electronic device they carry. Oh please. Really? Character, smoking-hot body, and whether they call their mother on Sunday matter not.  Whip an iPad Mini out of your pocket and the world is your oyster.

Remember Sunday’s Super Bowl ad for Go Daddy where the geek scores with the sexy chickadee? It was because he had a beta version of the iPhone 6 in his pants. I can hear all my male readers saying, “Whoa. Where can I get one of those?”

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