Some twenty years ago Dear Abby did a “grammar rant” in her column with a great list of her pet peeves – Dear Abby’s Grammar Rant. I shared some of my pet peeves with you here. I have a few more to add. What are yours?
- I watched an interview on television where the reporter asked the winner of the game, “What are your future plans?” Aren’t all “plans” in the future?
- Saying “my own personal preference” as opposed to “my preference” drives me crazy.
- “Would of/could of/should of” instead of “would have/could have/should have” makes the speaker sound like they are five-years-old.
- If I ask someone how he or she is doing and they say, “I’m good” I want to say, “I wasn’t asking about your behavior. I was asking if you are well, as in healthy.”
- When people end their sentences with a preposition, I want to tell them this joke.
A snobbish English teacher was sitting in an Atlanta airport coffee shop waiting for her flight to Connecticut. A friendly Southern Belle sat next to her.
“Where y’all goin’ to?” asked the Southern Belle.
Turning her nose in the air, the snob replied, “I don’t answer people who end their sentences with prepositions.”
The Southern Belle thought a moment, and tried again.
“Where y’all goin’ to, BITCH?
- My girls have grown up hearing me say, “Cakes are done and people are finished.”
- Similar to Abby’s pet peeve about the overuse of the word “basically,” the use of the word “literally” is rampant. Literally.
- A friend said to me recently, “The reality is, at the end of the day, it is what it is.” Huh?
- How about “orientated,” administrated,” and “preventative?” It is “oriented,” “administered,” and “preventive” even though spell check doesn’t mind them.
- I heard this one recently and it made me laugh. Someone described a person as a “pre-Madonna” as opposed to a “prima donna.”
Pre-Madonna? (Image via RottenTomatoes.com)
So, what are your grammar pet peeves? I hope not people who rant about their pet peeves!
Robin Coyle 
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Reminds me of when I sang in the choir at First Presbyterian Church in Bryan, Texas. Each month we would ask the congregation what songs they would like us to sing. One Sunday a young boy, probably about six or seven, stood up and asked us to sing “Lead On Oh Kinky Turtle.” Of course, it was “Lead On Oh King Eternal.”
Kinky Turtle? What kind of church did you attend?
Reminds me of something I read in Reader’s Digest when I was a kid. Instead of, “‘Round yon virgin, mother and child,” a boy thought is was “round John bourbon, smother and mild.”
The joke was good 🙂
I think so too.
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Great column. I have so many pet peeves, most already included here, particularly the misuse of “I”. Someone commented that “could of” and “could have” sound very similar in speech, which is true, but apparently people are not being taught the correct terms/grammar because I have also seen it in writing. Recently, I have also noticed misuse of sale/sell; I have seen signs in yards, on cars, etc. that say “For Sell.” Arrghh!
Ha ha! The sign should read “For Sell by Illiterate Owner.”
My pet hate is unnecessary stating of opposites. Politicians do this when they feel that the listening public can’t be trusted to grasp the magnitude of their statement unless the implied opposite is articulated. This leads to horrors such as ‘over, not under’ and ‘up, not down’. Obviously ‘not down’, idiot. We all heard you say ‘up’. The ‘not down’-ness is implied by the ‘up’. Worse than that, the other day I heard Milliband say that he felt ‘in terms of police, we need more, not less’ (“IT’S FEWER!” I bellowed. I also wasn’t thrilled about ‘in terms of police’). Normally I would let verbal things go because I’m sure we all make these errors in everyday speech, but this is someone who *speaks* for a *living*.
This is a good one. It is along the lines of saying someone ” he stood up.” Is there a way for him to “stood down?” Or “she screamed loudly,” “she whispered softly,” etc. Glad to know I am not the only bellower!
I think I may be starring in a B-movie called The Curse Of The Unnecessary Adverb.
That made me laugh out loud. What a nice way to start my morning. I’m heading over to follow you, in a non-stalker-ish way.
‘Awesome! Thanks, Robin!’ she said gratefully. Then she clapped her hand to her forehead. ‘Oh God. I think it’s happening to me! I’m INFECTED!’ Tearfully, she wept. Her tears fell uselessly onto her latest issue of The Grammarian, which had been left open at an article about how to avoid the comma splice, which she had not yet read.
Tune in tomorrow for the next exciting installment (really? The next episode in chronological sequence is *also* the episode you’re going to be playing next? How convenient )
You are so clever she said gleefully with a chortle and a snicker. “But don’t bring up commas with me. I, way, so, too much, overuse, commas,” she sighed.
‘“Would of/could of/should of” instead of “would have/could have/should have” makes the speaker sound like they are five-years-old.’
How do you tell the difference? When spoken, the “have” is normally elided, and they sound identical.
So true but it still bugs me.
This is an awesome post! Love it! I totally agree with many of these little peeves here. I am getting sick of explaining the difference between ‘literally’ and ‘figuratively’ to my pupils… when they tell me they ‘literally exploded with excitement’, I ask them who cleaned up all the mess…?
I can’t stand it when people don’t realise there’s a difference between ‘of’ and ‘have’…
‘Basically’ also annoys me…
I have a friend who tends to say ‘obviously’ a lot… It got so bad that I one day blurted out, ‘How the hell is that obvious?” and he said, “Well, it’s obvious…” GRR! 🙂
Argh! You basically should of known that it was literally obvious that my head would explode when you used the goodest grammar ever always.
Misters E. B.White and Strunk just took out a hit on me for that sentence!
lmao! You done good with that reply! 🙂
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I must confess that I do take silent note of the mistakes other writers make in grammar and punctuation, but am more amused than annoyed. Sometimes people should get a prize just for showing up. I feel that way about writing. The content is what matters. When a writer is ready to go into print, she can hire an editor.
You are a kinder person than me. I should strive to be more like you!
Uh, that would be “…kinder person than I.”
You are right. I humbly stand corrected. I know better than that! Geez, Robin.
Rediculous. It’s really quite ridiculous.
I hope you are referring to the examples or poor grammar and NOT my post!
it’s my grammar hate. I see it so often with an e.
Oh, now I get it!
Oh dear, I think I fail at everyday dialogue. I’m absolutely guilty of I’m fine/I’m good as an answer. 🙂
Well, you are in good company because many people do it!
I love the pre-madonna one too.
At work I used to ask if someone wanted a cup of tea and the response would always be “I’m fine, thanks”
“I wasn’t asking how you are. I’m asking if you want a beverage!”
Yikes – I am guilty of the “I’m fine, thanks” answer to a cup of tea. No more!
I take issue with this one. “I’m fine, thanks” means, “I’m satisfied with my current state: tea-less.” And this works as well: “How are you?” “I’m fine, how about yourself?”
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Great list Harper!
I have dozens, but two are bothering me right now, and they are both used by people getting paid to use them. In the ATT survey, the woman asks me to rate the courteousness of the operator. I have responded in the comments section, but the word is still there. And there is a television commercial right now, and of course I don’t remember who or what, but I do remember that they talk about excitedness. Makes me want to scream!!!
Courteousness and excitedness? Really? Come on people!
Honestly. I couldn’t believe I was hearing it!
These are great! I was never taught the rules so I love posts like this one.
If you weren’t taught the rules, how do you write so well?
If you weren’t taught the rules, how do you write so well?
Recently I read a writer explained how something – whatever it was, mercifully I have forgotten – had “effected” the people around him.
Wahla! or any of the other variations on that team – viola, walla, woila and I am known to throw the book across the room. How about “without further adieu”? Oh, dear I think this conversation must be “effecting” me in a negative way *smile* So without further “adieu” I will take my “leaf”.
I have so much trouble with affect/effect I avoid the words all together. It causes me much adieu. Oops. I meant ado. I leafs me in piece. Ha ha!
As a Brit, I have to disagree on oriented/orientated. Whilst ‘oriented’ is becoming more common over here, ‘orientated’ is the proper word in British English.
I’m not sure that this actually counts as a grammar peeve, it’s the misuse of a phrase, but it’s been irritating me a lot lately (I seem to keep hearing it recently), it’s ‘the royal we’ – it’s a very British thing again. ‘The royal we’ actually means ‘I’, for instance, Queen Victoria used to say “We are not amused’ meaning that she was not amused. But I’m always hearing people saying things like “We have finished the report, well, when I say we I mean the royal we because it was actually Suzy that did it”, or “We are going to paint the dining room at the weekend. Of course I mean the royal we, Dave’s going to do it whilst I go shopping!”. They’re using ‘the royal we’ to mean other people than themselves, whereas actually it should mean yourself. I’m sure I could have written this paragraph a lot more succinctly and I’m wishing I hadn’t started it, but I’ll just go with it now anyway.
I didn’t know you zany Brits used “orientated” so my apologies.
As for the “royal we,” we Yanks actually say “The royal we wallpapered the bathroom.” Meaning “I wallpapered the bathroom.” How sad is that?
Jim Carrey’s line from the *Grinch*, “When I say “we” I mean “you,” never fails to make me laugh.
Also, I love that you Brits say “whilst.” We Yanks say the boring “while.”
Again, I must protest. The royal we has a valid, and current, application. I use it within my grammar site to mean, “Those of us behind this site.” Sure, there’s just myself, but if I were to say, “I want to hear from you,” it makes it about me and not the site itself. “We want to hear from you” means “those of us behind this site …” There really is no point in revealing to the visitor that there’s just one guy with too much time on his hands creating all this verbiage related to the English language. (Just a frank opinion from Keith Sessions.)
I meant I used the words “royal we” in a sentence and a lame attempt at humor.
When people say “for free” instead of just “free” I do not know of any person names free and I do not plan on doing anything FOR them.
Once I worked with a person, from Tennessee, who turned the phrase “If that don’t beat all” to “if that don’t beat off”. I am dead serious she would use it all the time causing much laughter to which she seemed clueless about but that is another story.
How about “free gift!” Isn’t a gift always free? Good one.
Ah, just happened across another one: simplistic, “here’s a simplistic view “. The world is littered with them but before I go filling your comments boxes I’d better go back and read Dear Abby’s Grammar Rant, and your take on the subject:)
So would it be “here is a simple view?” An “elementary view?” “A moronic view?”
Ooh, that’s a good one. Right now I’m trolling the Net in an attempt to amass the definitive list of grammar pet peeves. I’m glad to say that “simplistic” vs. “simple” makes the cut!
I love that you read all the comments. Or some of the comments, at any rate.
I did get a chuckle from pre-Madonna. Oh wow … I’ve always cringed when i hear “a friend of mine”, and yet if it’s someone else’s friend, we have to qualify about whose friend one is speaking (?), so am I right, or am I wrong?
I think I have been know to say “a friend of mine.” No more to that one too! As to you question . . . wouldn’t you just say “Wanderlust Gene’s friend?”
Robin,
I think I could learn a ton from you. That’s why I read your posts with love and admiration… hee hee, but I’ll never agree with you on ending a sentence with a proposition as I think that is more suited to Romantic Languages. I have enough trouble just trying to spell words like “necessary” without spell-check! If I worried about the rest like a good girl, I’d never write again!
Best, KL
How funny. Necesarry, oops . . .neccesisry, oops . . . necessary and I have trouble too!
Ok, let me wax pedantic here. First of all, it’s Romance languages, not Romantic languages. Second (not second of all), I’m going to assume you meant “preposition” instead of “proposition,” unless you actually made a proposal. Third, sometimes ending a sentence with a preposition is the only way to sound like an Earthling as opposed to someone who just arrived from a galaxy far, far away. To quote Winston Churchill, responding to his aide who had just chided him for doing that very thing, “There are some things up with which I will not put.”
Churchill was one clever guy.
Please tell me you have read Eats, Shoots and Leaves.
I haven’t. Should I?
Yes absolutely! It’s an entire book of grammar pet peeves and it is hilarious. I’ve read it cover to cover several times.
I’ll have to pick it up. Sounds like my kind of read.
“All those long years ago’ drives me crazy. If used more than ONCE in a novel, I hear an echo after the second time and I dislike the sound of the phrase. I’ve come across it too many times for MY liking.
Love these grammar pet peeves.
“In days gone by” makes my teeth hurt.
Have you heard the Harvard version of the joke?
A freshman walks up to an upperclassman and asks, “Where’s the library at?”
The upperclassman looks at him and says, “At Harvard, we don’t end sentences with prepositions.”
To which the freshman replies, “Okay, where’s the library at, a**hole?”
That was the joke I knew but couldn’t find it on the internet. Both are priceless.